(no subject)
Life has been a roller coaster lately. I don't know what to make out of it. I'm constantly sick to my stomach, but feel the need to keep eating and eating. I can't go to the bathroom to save my life. I've been completely stressed out. Work SUCKS. The head lifeguards dislike me. I think that they think I'm the boss's "favorite" therefore, putting their jobs in jeopardy. I can't help it if when I go to work I put on a happy face, am personable, and laugh (I'm an actress. I'm able to do that despite what's going on in my life) and they're miserable. Gahhhh I want this summer to be OVER.
The only relief I get is when I pray the rosary (which is hard for me to do because its hard for me to sit still) and when I go to rehearsals (because I completely forget about it and realize I'm not a whale). Then I come home, walk through the door, and this feeling of panic hits me. I have to try to go to the bathroom even though I have to memorize lines and do various other things my mom is telling me I need to get done.
Wow, how depressing. But that's exactly how I feel. Depressed. I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! School is going to be awful if I feel this way. I'm afraid I'll be forced to drop out...
So, yesterday I had my second Midsummer rehearsal. It was alright, I guess. My scene partner is gorgeous but I can't read him at all. Usually, I can read people pretty well. Him, not so much and it's driving me crazy! I sound like I'm in middle school again... "I wonder if he has a crush on me..." Hahah. Whatever. I need to focus on my character and not boys. Plus! I distinctly remember saying I don't want a boyfriend and that I hate boys. I'm way too fickle.
Right now, I can't sleep. I'll probably go for a nice run in a little bit and then I'm hanging out with my friend today. Thankfully, I've been feeling a little better. I ordered these vitamins that, for some reason, can help if you're constipated. I'm willing to give them a try. We'll see how it all works out.
Let's see, what else has been going on? Not too much I guess. I just need to start working out. I'm sure it'll help me burn off some steam and make me feel better. So, with that being said, that's what I'm going to go do!
Faith. Hope. Love.
Maria