Bad dreams
I had one of the worst nightmares today. I'm not new to bad dreams. I've had night terrors and sleep paralysis and I talk in my sleep, I'll sit up but I've never actually walked. The good dreams always make the bad worth dealing with... usually.
This one is hard to describe. It's like dreamception. I was dreaming of my Dad. We were at his house visiting and hanging out only it was way after he should have died. Once I was alone with him I was asking how he really was, how he felt, if there was anything I could do to help. It was just really sad. I never dream of his face and I was trying so hard to look at him. I started waking up (even though it was still a dream) and I knew I was crying because I didn't want to wake up. Every time I wake up it hurts just as raw as it was the morning I was told he died. I desperately was trying to hold on to this dream. Somehow I got stuck in the inbetween where I knew I wasn't dreaming but I wasn't awake either, it just hurt. I was yelling and trying to scream and wake myself up. I know this was still a dream because I even tried to text Zoe so she could wake me up.
Indy started barking at something which finally got me up. I don't think I've ever been so happy to have a loud barky dog. It's weird, I didn't ever recognize it at the time but the prozac was keeping my vivid dreams at bay, both good and bad. This is the first dream I've had in over a month. Tonight I'd better dream of space and flying kittens and mountains made of ice cream to make up for this one. Hours later and it's still hanging around my brain. I'm hoping that writing it out will give it an open door to leave by. This entry was originally posted at https://m0rg4n.dreamwidth.org/875815.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
This one is hard to describe. It's like dreamception. I was dreaming of my Dad. We were at his house visiting and hanging out only it was way after he should have died. Once I was alone with him I was asking how he really was, how he felt, if there was anything I could do to help. It was just really sad. I never dream of his face and I was trying so hard to look at him. I started waking up (even though it was still a dream) and I knew I was crying because I didn't want to wake up. Every time I wake up it hurts just as raw as it was the morning I was told he died. I desperately was trying to hold on to this dream. Somehow I got stuck in the inbetween where I knew I wasn't dreaming but I wasn't awake either, it just hurt. I was yelling and trying to scream and wake myself up. I know this was still a dream because I even tried to text Zoe so she could wake me up.
Indy started barking at something which finally got me up. I don't think I've ever been so happy to have a loud barky dog. It's weird, I didn't ever recognize it at the time but the prozac was keeping my vivid dreams at bay, both good and bad. This is the first dream I've had in over a month. Tonight I'd better dream of space and flying kittens and mountains made of ice cream to make up for this one. Hours later and it's still hanging around my brain. I'm hoping that writing it out will give it an open door to leave by. This entry was originally posted at https://m0rg4n.dreamwidth.org/875815.html. Please comment there using OpenID.