(no subject)
m0rb Id 42o (4*37 PM): i really dont wanna do this
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): but how can i avoid it anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): its like a hole in my soul
RiAchard (4*38 PM): what is?
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): a void i can't escape
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): i'm dying inside
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and no one cares
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): a silent tear runs down my cheek
RiAchard (4*38 PM): I CARE
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and u'll never know the pain i feel
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): daily life isn't happy anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and i only wanna die
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): i watch the blood run off of my wrist
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): and i cry again
RiAchard (4*39 PM): please tell me thats just a poem
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i can't take it anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): but i still want to live
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i'm sorry but its not
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i'm crying
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): and i'm fighting with myself
RiAchard (4*39 PM): no
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i dont want to do this
Richard (4*39 PM): elle
Richard (4*39 PM): please
Richard (4*40 PM): dont do it
m0rb Id 42o (4*40 PM): i just wanna know why i have to feel like this
m0rb Id 42o (4*40 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Richard (4*40 PM): you dont
m0rb Id 42o (4*41 PM): obviously i do or i wouldn't feel like this
m0rb Id 42o (4*41 PM): constantly
Richard (4*41 PM): please, dont do anything
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): im sorry
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): my gma is home
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): she heard me crying
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): she had to come up here and investigate
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): god why can't i even JUST CRY1
RiAchard (4*46 PM): you have no idea how scared i just was
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): im sorry
RiAchard (4*47 PM): look at me, a grown boy, and im crying like a school boy
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): noooooo
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): dont cry over me
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): please?!
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i can't just walk around all the time with a smile on my face and pretend nothing ever bothers me
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): im human
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i have feelings too
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i DO cry
Richard (4*52 PM): and its ok to cry
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): instead i have to have 16 interigators to find out wut my problem is
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): im tired of having ppl nosing around in my fucking business
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): and when my dad comes home
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): shes gonna tell him about it
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): then hes gonna ask me too
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): and i dont feel like talking to him OR her about it
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): i just want to be left alone really
My eyes are stinging. I just cried a whole bunch. I just wanna be alone. I'm not gonna cut myself again. I can't, I'm too afraid. I'm afraid that if I did it again, it would feel too good and I wouldn't be able to stop this time. God help me I just want to cry alone, without questions, without interigations.
Once again Tim was there to help me. The conversation up there is with richard tho. Tim is so amazing. I'm so glad I have him. My Timatao. I dunno wut I'd do without him. I hope I never have to find out.
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): but how can i avoid it anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): its like a hole in my soul
RiAchard (4*38 PM): what is?
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): a void i can't escape
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): i'm dying inside
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and no one cares
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): a silent tear runs down my cheek
RiAchard (4*38 PM): I CARE
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and u'll never know the pain i feel
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): daily life isn't happy anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): and i only wanna die
m0rb Id 42o (4*38 PM): i watch the blood run off of my wrist
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): and i cry again
RiAchard (4*39 PM): please tell me thats just a poem
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i can't take it anymore
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): but i still want to live
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i'm sorry but its not
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i'm crying
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): and i'm fighting with myself
RiAchard (4*39 PM): no
m0rb Id 42o (4*39 PM): i dont want to do this
Richard (4*39 PM): elle
Richard (4*39 PM): please
Richard (4*40 PM): dont do it
m0rb Id 42o (4*40 PM): i just wanna know why i have to feel like this
m0rb Id 42o (4*40 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Richard (4*40 PM): you dont
m0rb Id 42o (4*41 PM): obviously i do or i wouldn't feel like this
m0rb Id 42o (4*41 PM): constantly
Richard (4*41 PM): please, dont do anything
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): im sorry
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): my gma is home
m0rb Id 42o (4*45 PM): she heard me crying
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): she had to come up here and investigate
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): god why can't i even JUST CRY1
RiAchard (4*46 PM): you have no idea how scared i just was
m0rb Id 42o (4*46 PM): im sorry
RiAchard (4*47 PM): look at me, a grown boy, and im crying like a school boy
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): noooooo
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): dont cry over me
m0rb Id 42o (4*47 PM): please?!
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i can't just walk around all the time with a smile on my face and pretend nothing ever bothers me
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): im human
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i have feelings too
m0rb Id 42o (4*51 PM): i DO cry
Richard (4*52 PM): and its ok to cry
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): instead i have to have 16 interigators to find out wut my problem is
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): im tired of having ppl nosing around in my fucking business
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): and when my dad comes home
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): shes gonna tell him about it
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): then hes gonna ask me too
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): and i dont feel like talking to him OR her about it
m0rb Id 42o (4*52 PM): i just want to be left alone really
My eyes are stinging. I just cried a whole bunch. I just wanna be alone. I'm not gonna cut myself again. I can't, I'm too afraid. I'm afraid that if I did it again, it would feel too good and I wouldn't be able to stop this time. God help me I just want to cry alone, without questions, without interigations.
Once again Tim was there to help me. The conversation up there is with richard tho. Tim is so amazing. I'm so glad I have him. My Timatao. I dunno wut I'd do without him. I hope I never have to find out.