002//HyukHaeMin, R, When the Heart Speaks
Title: When the Heart Speaks
Author: amine87
Pairing: HyukHaeMin
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, angst, angst
Summary: When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object (Milan Kundera)
Big thanks to Anne aka hazydecay for betaing :)
A/N Inspired by this picture like I mentioned; second thanks for Inny and Jun for being the Hyukjae and Donghae to my Sungmin :D So yeah, join lee3teukaday ? /shameless pimp/
The moment you know he is there, there are hands holding him down, gripping his arms, forcing him to stop-
He is awake the moment you glance at him. You say nothing as you shift closer to him and reach out for his shoulder. He pulls away, avoiding your eyes, refusing your touch, and you feel like screaming and yelling and slapping him. Instead, you simply stay silence, not moving an even inch, and you wait, wait, wait for him to speak up.
Hyung. Finally. His voice is raw, hoarse, as his hand slides upon your palm. I miss him, he chokes out, the warmth of his hand burning your skin. Let me go-
Abruptly, you slip out of his grasp, capturing his chin in your hand. Look at me, you hiss, your head spinning and he flinches at your touch -let me-
You never expect yourself to be the one to destroy his world. It's done, the venomous whisper, barely enough to smash his soul into pieces, he left, Hyukjae.
He hates you, his eyes say. You take a long breath, taking your cue to leave, and pretending you know nothing.
You spend the next two days with him. Only you and him; partly because he refuses to open the door and screams at everyone who tries to come in. And you spend the first day sitting and thinking until you decide to get out every once and a while, taking everything that's supposed to be your, and his meals, then returning back into his room, because somehow he accepts your presence.
A part of you knows that he wishes you to be there, although it is much less than the silence left by Donghae's absence.
He doesn't speak anymore.
Donghae says nothing when you corner him later that night. Fighting your urge to punch his indifferent face, you force the words flowing out of your mouth. He looks at you when you plead for the nth time, then he smiles, a bitter smile pinning you straight in your heart, taking you into his arms and letting out an endless whisper in your ear.
I'll be back, he says. I will return, hyung.
-for him.
Of course he does not mention that part. But you know, you've always known.
You wonder if you are wise enough to be a double-sided blade.
Hyukjae will surely hate you if he knows you are keeping contact with Donghae. By keeping quiet, you are slowly killing him, rotting him from the inside. It is Donghae's request, but sometimes, sometimes you wish you are not that good hyung that you can betray him-
"Hyung, are they watching us?" Donghae tore his gaze from the blue sky and you couldn't help but to smile.
"Of course," you said."They are always watching."
-but you know you won't.
Even if it costs you his life.
One week has passed when you realize he knows. He smiles when you return, a smile burning through your head, but chilling down your spine. Preparing for the worst, you say nothing when he walks over to you. You feel his cold breath on your skin and drown in his dark, bottomless eyes.
That time his voice and his tone are like ice.
I love you, he whispers.
And he takes you there. In his room, in dark, endless hole where no one dares to enter. His skin is burning as he touches your hand, his lips wander through the crook of your neck. He touches you anywhere but your lips. You look at his longing gaze, passing you as he is watching him. Only him.
You cry yourself to sleep that night.
Donghae calls you that morning when you are about to take his breakfast back into the room.
You don't like it; you feel it is a risky decision to talk to Donghae in Hyukjae's presence although he should still be sleeping inside. So you goes out of the dorm, closing the door ever so quietly, you put the cell on your ear, Yoboseyo?
There is a soft sob on the other end.
Hyung. Donghae's voice is broken, full of madness and tears. Hyung, he repeats, I miss you, hyung... I miss him.
Gripping tighter on your cell, you chew your bottom lips and lock the door. You walk to the nearest emergency exit and sit at the staircase midway between the eleventh and tenth storey.
You said you've gone for good, you spat, as you can't hide the bitterness in your voice. You should be mad, you know you should. As you see him as your rival and your rival has finally gone, only to tell you that he wants to go back.
But hyung, he sobs, I miss him.
You wish you are not there. You wish you didn't pick up the phone.
I miss him.
For once, you wish you have never met him.
The moment you return, you find not one, but two heads in the room.
Donghae does not say anything, neither does Hyukjae, and you feel like pulling away and leaving the two to solve their own problem until Hyukjae's eyes sweep over you and he signals you to enter.
That is how you end up sitting in between a silent, nonthreatening fight. You do not dare to move an even inch. You feel Donghae's pleading eyes upon you, but you are not bold enough to break Hyukjae's contact.
Can we leave? Suddenly Hyukjae speaks up and you two turn staring at him.
He says emotionlessly. His eyes are not glancing at you, but his voice is stern and you know that he is aware, that he is fully aware, of what he has said earlier. Just one thing you have no idea of; who he is referring to.
Hyukjae, Donghae's voice is stiff, and his smile catches your eyes -he hides nothing. You know that we can't. We must not.
You are in a complete confusion, but you decide not to say it.
One week, Hyukjae's toneless voice replies. Just one week, we'll be back fully charged once again.
Then he turns at you, as if expecting your response. Oh, you say, starting, and you wonder how it becomes an absolute agreement that it is yours to decide. He curls his fingers upon yours, pressing you back with a smile slowly creeping up his face. His fingers push against the pulse under your skin, and you know that you can't say no.
We're leaving, Donghae's voice beams and Hyukjae quickly stands up, leaving you in your dumbfounded state. You know it is not right, it is definitely wrong for them to leave. You all have schedules and things to do, leaving your responsibility will just enrage everyone more.
You don't know how many minutes have passed until you feel someone pulling on your hand. You see Hyukjae leaning down to look at you on eye level. You blink, and his fingers slide around your wrist.
Come, he says, smiling, let's go.
You turn to find Donghae watching you, a similar smile written on his face.
Let's go.
.fin.
Author: amine87
Pairing: HyukHaeMin
Rating: PG
Genre: angst, angst, angst
Summary: When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object (Milan Kundera)
Big thanks to Anne aka hazydecay for betaing :)
A/N Inspired by this picture like I mentioned; second thanks for Inny and Jun for being the Hyukjae and Donghae to my Sungmin :D So yeah, join lee3teukaday ? /shameless pimp/
The moment you know he is there, there are hands holding him down, gripping his arms, forcing him to stop-
He is awake the moment you glance at him. You say nothing as you shift closer to him and reach out for his shoulder. He pulls away, avoiding your eyes, refusing your touch, and you feel like screaming and yelling and slapping him. Instead, you simply stay silence, not moving an even inch, and you wait, wait, wait for him to speak up.
Hyung. Finally. His voice is raw, hoarse, as his hand slides upon your palm. I miss him, he chokes out, the warmth of his hand burning your skin. Let me go-
Abruptly, you slip out of his grasp, capturing his chin in your hand. Look at me, you hiss, your head spinning and he flinches at your touch -let me-
You never expect yourself to be the one to destroy his world. It's done, the venomous whisper, barely enough to smash his soul into pieces, he left, Hyukjae.
He hates you, his eyes say. You take a long breath, taking your cue to leave, and pretending you know nothing.
You spend the next two days with him. Only you and him; partly because he refuses to open the door and screams at everyone who tries to come in. And you spend the first day sitting and thinking until you decide to get out every once and a while, taking everything that's supposed to be your, and his meals, then returning back into his room, because somehow he accepts your presence.
A part of you knows that he wishes you to be there, although it is much less than the silence left by Donghae's absence.
He doesn't speak anymore.
Donghae says nothing when you corner him later that night. Fighting your urge to punch his indifferent face, you force the words flowing out of your mouth. He looks at you when you plead for the nth time, then he smiles, a bitter smile pinning you straight in your heart, taking you into his arms and letting out an endless whisper in your ear.
I'll be back, he says. I will return, hyung.
-for him.
Of course he does not mention that part. But you know, you've always known.
You wonder if you are wise enough to be a double-sided blade.
Hyukjae will surely hate you if he knows you are keeping contact with Donghae. By keeping quiet, you are slowly killing him, rotting him from the inside. It is Donghae's request, but sometimes, sometimes you wish you are not that good hyung that you can betray him-
"Hyung, are they watching us?" Donghae tore his gaze from the blue sky and you couldn't help but to smile.
"Of course," you said."They are always watching."
-but you know you won't.
Even if it costs you his life.
One week has passed when you realize he knows. He smiles when you return, a smile burning through your head, but chilling down your spine. Preparing for the worst, you say nothing when he walks over to you. You feel his cold breath on your skin and drown in his dark, bottomless eyes.
That time his voice and his tone are like ice.
I love you, he whispers.
And he takes you there. In his room, in dark, endless hole where no one dares to enter. His skin is burning as he touches your hand, his lips wander through the crook of your neck. He touches you anywhere but your lips. You look at his longing gaze, passing you as he is watching him. Only him.
You cry yourself to sleep that night.
Donghae calls you that morning when you are about to take his breakfast back into the room.
You don't like it; you feel it is a risky decision to talk to Donghae in Hyukjae's presence although he should still be sleeping inside. So you goes out of the dorm, closing the door ever so quietly, you put the cell on your ear, Yoboseyo?
There is a soft sob on the other end.
Hyung. Donghae's voice is broken, full of madness and tears. Hyung, he repeats, I miss you, hyung... I miss him.
Gripping tighter on your cell, you chew your bottom lips and lock the door. You walk to the nearest emergency exit and sit at the staircase midway between the eleventh and tenth storey.
You said you've gone for good, you spat, as you can't hide the bitterness in your voice. You should be mad, you know you should. As you see him as your rival and your rival has finally gone, only to tell you that he wants to go back.
But hyung, he sobs, I miss him.
You wish you are not there. You wish you didn't pick up the phone.
I miss him.
For once, you wish you have never met him.
The moment you return, you find not one, but two heads in the room.
Donghae does not say anything, neither does Hyukjae, and you feel like pulling away and leaving the two to solve their own problem until Hyukjae's eyes sweep over you and he signals you to enter.
That is how you end up sitting in between a silent, nonthreatening fight. You do not dare to move an even inch. You feel Donghae's pleading eyes upon you, but you are not bold enough to break Hyukjae's contact.
Can we leave? Suddenly Hyukjae speaks up and you two turn staring at him.
He says emotionlessly. His eyes are not glancing at you, but his voice is stern and you know that he is aware, that he is fully aware, of what he has said earlier. Just one thing you have no idea of; who he is referring to.
Hyukjae, Donghae's voice is stiff, and his smile catches your eyes -he hides nothing. You know that we can't. We must not.
You are in a complete confusion, but you decide not to say it.
One week, Hyukjae's toneless voice replies. Just one week, we'll be back fully charged once again.
Then he turns at you, as if expecting your response. Oh, you say, starting, and you wonder how it becomes an absolute agreement that it is yours to decide. He curls his fingers upon yours, pressing you back with a smile slowly creeping up his face. His fingers push against the pulse under your skin, and you know that you can't say no.
We're leaving, Donghae's voice beams and Hyukjae quickly stands up, leaving you in your dumbfounded state. You know it is not right, it is definitely wrong for them to leave. You all have schedules and things to do, leaving your responsibility will just enrage everyone more.
You don't know how many minutes have passed until you feel someone pulling on your hand. You see Hyukjae leaning down to look at you on eye level. You blink, and his fingers slide around your wrist.
Come, he says, smiling, let's go.
You turn to find Donghae watching you, a similar smile written on his face.
Let's go.
.fin.