baseball game = no bueno
I thought that tonight, going to a Rockies game with mom, my uncle, and cousin [the last two being Dodger's fans] would have made for a good distraction. The game, however, was pretty boring and slow, giving my mind way too much time to wander. Made me think of the bat that I saw one of the last times I was at the game, which in turn made me think of the night that... he.... and I spent standing on the back of one of the houseboats and just stared out into the night, watching the bats flying around us while I giggled in glee. Also, just being at the game in general made me think of when I went to the lacrosse game with... him... and how I actually enjoyed the whole thing. And then on the way home, my cousin wanted to listen to the CDs in the car, certain songs, so we're flipping between all the albums, pulling out all these songs, and I quickly notice similarities in all the songs, and I start crying. No where near as heavily as I did the night that he told me it was over [for now, or so he said...], but I still cried and was thankful it was dark in the car and that music was blaring so loudly, they couldn't hear me sniffling. More than half the songs they picked out, I realized just how similar they matched my situation, from my side, and I just started falling apart. I'm thankful that now everyone is either gone or in bed so I can cry a little more freely now....