(no subject)
people, i think in general, are just bad.
almost like it is so naturally wired into them that without even thinking they're just horrible.
to eachother, to themselves.
it's odd, to watch them scramble... when you're out of the fight... at each other's throats... claws outstretched and screaming the profanity of pure lies.
because that's what they do... they lie.
sometimes, i think they don't even really mean to. it's like it's just natural or something... like some kind of impulse to just tear eachothers lives into minisquel bits of nothing.
or worse, their hearts.
at least though, with most people, they're just human. they act human, look human, talk human. make mistakes...
but with you it's a constant face-off... a struggle for perfection... so no one sees those faults that you obsess over.
you love everyone, care about everything... care about me.
i don't believe you. not now, not ever again. as much as i want you to hold me... because it makes me feel so complete... i'd rather die than feel that i've allowed myself to become another cover for you, just another ugly mask.
your attempt to love the un-loveable. to care for the untouchable. to take away my pain. to wipe away my acid tears.
i'd rather lose it all than allow myself to have any of it... if it isn't real. if it never was, never could be, real.
i won't play that game again. it's not the losing that bothers me... but the crack i hear when they step on my heart as they walk away... unharmed.
fuck people. humans.
they should only exist on demand.
i never should have trusted you.
almost like it is so naturally wired into them that without even thinking they're just horrible.
to eachother, to themselves.
it's odd, to watch them scramble... when you're out of the fight... at each other's throats... claws outstretched and screaming the profanity of pure lies.
because that's what they do... they lie.
sometimes, i think they don't even really mean to. it's like it's just natural or something... like some kind of impulse to just tear eachothers lives into minisquel bits of nothing.
or worse, their hearts.
at least though, with most people, they're just human. they act human, look human, talk human. make mistakes...
but with you it's a constant face-off... a struggle for perfection... so no one sees those faults that you obsess over.
you love everyone, care about everything... care about me.
i don't believe you. not now, not ever again. as much as i want you to hold me... because it makes me feel so complete... i'd rather die than feel that i've allowed myself to become another cover for you, just another ugly mask.
your attempt to love the un-loveable. to care for the untouchable. to take away my pain. to wipe away my acid tears.
i'd rather lose it all than allow myself to have any of it... if it isn't real. if it never was, never could be, real.
i won't play that game again. it's not the losing that bothers me... but the crack i hear when they step on my heart as they walk away... unharmed.
fuck people. humans.
they should only exist on demand.
i never should have trusted you.