mother fuckers. keep your dog damned hands off my life.
people like to put in the blades
or create them
depending on the type of person
and then let them fester
or create a wound, stabbing and bleeding,
just depending on the type of person
then they like to let the world see it
see the wound, the blood, the knife
and let them do with it
as they wish they could
but, simply, don't have the nerve to do...
it's sad, you know, that you can't even cut me yourself...
that you have to hand YOUR blade to people who don't know what it is
and let them just slash away at me like you KNOW you want to
just do it.
c'mon. really.
cut me up. rip me and my life and every emotion and thought i have to dying shreds.
you'd love it, wouldn't you?
to touch the crimson heat and know it was because of you.
that, though you didn't right out do it, it was product of you.
that's how you want me. bleeding and begging, crying and screaming, crawling through all of it- because of you. not done by you. or for you. but product of you and your life, your sarcasm, and assistance to the rest of the world...
what if i told everyone i wasn't WITH anyone? huh? what then? what does that mean to you people?
huh?
what if i told all of you that it is as little now as it was before?
what if i told each one of you that nothing was any different than before? that i refrained from speaking about it or telling about it because nothing had changed?
you guys don't know. none of you do.
the only thing is, the only real problem, is that a lot of you think you do.
no matter how much it bothers you or makes you think or makes you depressed or makes you mad or makes you think i'm going to hell or makes you feel left behind... or whatever... that still doesn't mean "it" is there... it just means all of you think it is.
take your heads out of your ass. and think.
really, what has changed?
cuz i know the truth. and only me.
there is nothing there for you guys. nothing for you to dwell on or be mad at me about. or anyone else for that matter...
no reason to be mean... to anyone... about anything. or mad. or... anything.
maybe, if i haven't said anything, maybe that means there is nothing to be said.
maybe i know, even if you don't, that it is nothing. huh? what then? what will everyone freak-out about then? what will people gossip about and bitch and vent about then?
people want it to happen so they can say a million other things... so they can feel out-of-the-loop or neglected or unloved.
i don't even stand a chance. the truth doesn't. and reality doesn't. and neither does a perfectly harmless friendship.
i don't get it. how all of you all the sudden became so "informed"... when, really, all along, as well as now, none of you have known anything. know anything. will ever know anything.
i give up. i don't care.
just have fun with your blades. have fun with your thoughts and your own emotions... cuz, believe me, i can take care of myself. and my emotions, and thoughts, and most deffinately, my blades.
i hate hayesville. i wouldn't stay for anything. not now, and not before now. i'm sick of this place, most of this place's people, and this dog damned life.
kiss my ass. really.
and get over yourselves.
and, if your going to care about whatever you think is there and whatever you think is going on, then keep your mouth shut and leave me the hell alone about it.
for the people i ever did talk to about it or any future prospect of it-
i wish i hadn't of.
if i could take it back i would. all of it.
and i regret each of you.
i won't do that again. i promise.
i'm back in my own world, my own mind, my own thought and emotion
you no longer have anything to worry about.
i will never share again.
i forgot how people screw you over if you open up at all or are ever truly honest... but... i remember now. and this is its end.
i'll appologize to my life later... when it gets even more fudged-up. when things get even worse.
i'm done now.
with this space, these thoughts, and whoever is reading this now.
have a nice day.
hope LJ stays full of bullshiz for forever, cuz really, what would this place be without it.
...
and adios.
or create them
depending on the type of person
and then let them fester
or create a wound, stabbing and bleeding,
just depending on the type of person
then they like to let the world see it
see the wound, the blood, the knife
and let them do with it
as they wish they could
but, simply, don't have the nerve to do...
it's sad, you know, that you can't even cut me yourself...
that you have to hand YOUR blade to people who don't know what it is
and let them just slash away at me like you KNOW you want to
just do it.
c'mon. really.
cut me up. rip me and my life and every emotion and thought i have to dying shreds.
you'd love it, wouldn't you?
to touch the crimson heat and know it was because of you.
that, though you didn't right out do it, it was product of you.
that's how you want me. bleeding and begging, crying and screaming, crawling through all of it- because of you. not done by you. or for you. but product of you and your life, your sarcasm, and assistance to the rest of the world...
what if i told everyone i wasn't WITH anyone? huh? what then? what does that mean to you people?
huh?
what if i told all of you that it is as little now as it was before?
what if i told each one of you that nothing was any different than before? that i refrained from speaking about it or telling about it because nothing had changed?
you guys don't know. none of you do.
the only thing is, the only real problem, is that a lot of you think you do.
no matter how much it bothers you or makes you think or makes you depressed or makes you mad or makes you think i'm going to hell or makes you feel left behind... or whatever... that still doesn't mean "it" is there... it just means all of you think it is.
take your heads out of your ass. and think.
really, what has changed?
cuz i know the truth. and only me.
there is nothing there for you guys. nothing for you to dwell on or be mad at me about. or anyone else for that matter...
no reason to be mean... to anyone... about anything. or mad. or... anything.
maybe, if i haven't said anything, maybe that means there is nothing to be said.
maybe i know, even if you don't, that it is nothing. huh? what then? what will everyone freak-out about then? what will people gossip about and bitch and vent about then?
people want it to happen so they can say a million other things... so they can feel out-of-the-loop or neglected or unloved.
i don't even stand a chance. the truth doesn't. and reality doesn't. and neither does a perfectly harmless friendship.
i don't get it. how all of you all the sudden became so "informed"... when, really, all along, as well as now, none of you have known anything. know anything. will ever know anything.
i give up. i don't care.
just have fun with your blades. have fun with your thoughts and your own emotions... cuz, believe me, i can take care of myself. and my emotions, and thoughts, and most deffinately, my blades.
i hate hayesville. i wouldn't stay for anything. not now, and not before now. i'm sick of this place, most of this place's people, and this dog damned life.
kiss my ass. really.
and get over yourselves.
and, if your going to care about whatever you think is there and whatever you think is going on, then keep your mouth shut and leave me the hell alone about it.
for the people i ever did talk to about it or any future prospect of it-
i wish i hadn't of.
if i could take it back i would. all of it.
and i regret each of you.
i won't do that again. i promise.
i'm back in my own world, my own mind, my own thought and emotion
you no longer have anything to worry about.
i will never share again.
i forgot how people screw you over if you open up at all or are ever truly honest... but... i remember now. and this is its end.
i'll appologize to my life later... when it gets even more fudged-up. when things get even worse.
i'm done now.
with this space, these thoughts, and whoever is reading this now.
have a nice day.
hope LJ stays full of bullshiz for forever, cuz really, what would this place be without it.
...
and adios.