"Switch on your electric light, and we can get down to what's really wrong"
First weekend back at the museum today. Even though I screwed things up a lot, I think I will get back into the swing of things soon and it will fit just fine into my life. There's a poster on the wall that lists the anniversaries for each month and this month, my name is on it, which is nice.
yick. In some, comparitively small respects, I'm not happy with my life and I'm so so tired of it! I keep thinking maybe there's something I can do to fix everything that I see as wrong, but maybe there just isn't. Today when I was biking home from work in the ridiculously warm weather I was thinking...maybe I've been going about it wrong. yes there are things I wish were different. But as far as I can see there isn't anything I can do about it. But I do have close to complete control over my emotions and reactions to things and behaI viors so maybe what I need to do is just suck it up and resign myself to things being less than I'd hoped, but force myself to be happy more of the time. Because really, if feeling unhappy can't move you forward, then what is the point? I suppose my problem is deciding whether to give up and embrace it or keep on fighting. I'm afraid to do anything alone.
Also, today I saw a totally 100% pure white squirrel. It was very strange.
And also, I ate at a restaurant called "the Happy Gnome" last night and it was really fun, a good atmosphere. finally, finally, an area of st. paul that's not totally dead after 8 p.m. It's just near the place where I used to work for Anita, the woman with M.S. That's one of those funny connections that just completely died out. I think about her quite a bit and feel guilty for not keeping in touch, but I don't know to find her. Just one of those things about getting older, I suppose.
I bought three cds last night, tom petty, van morrison, and finally finally the jayhawks c.d I've been looking for forever. Lexi spotted it in the new arrivals shelf. I love Cheapo. Probably I should buy things more often, otherwise I'm tempted to buy lots of things at once.
October is my favorite month of the year. I hope it brings good things this time around. Raina told me that in Australia, October is a spring month. Isn't that weird?
yick. In some, comparitively small respects, I'm not happy with my life and I'm so so tired of it! I keep thinking maybe there's something I can do to fix everything that I see as wrong, but maybe there just isn't. Today when I was biking home from work in the ridiculously warm weather I was thinking...maybe I've been going about it wrong. yes there are things I wish were different. But as far as I can see there isn't anything I can do about it. But I do have close to complete control over my emotions and reactions to things and behaI viors so maybe what I need to do is just suck it up and resign myself to things being less than I'd hoped, but force myself to be happy more of the time. Because really, if feeling unhappy can't move you forward, then what is the point? I suppose my problem is deciding whether to give up and embrace it or keep on fighting. I'm afraid to do anything alone.
Also, today I saw a totally 100% pure white squirrel. It was very strange.
And also, I ate at a restaurant called "the Happy Gnome" last night and it was really fun, a good atmosphere. finally, finally, an area of st. paul that's not totally dead after 8 p.m. It's just near the place where I used to work for Anita, the woman with M.S. That's one of those funny connections that just completely died out. I think about her quite a bit and feel guilty for not keeping in touch, but I don't know to find her. Just one of those things about getting older, I suppose.
I bought three cds last night, tom petty, van morrison, and finally finally the jayhawks c.d I've been looking for forever. Lexi spotted it in the new arrivals shelf. I love Cheapo. Probably I should buy things more often, otherwise I'm tempted to buy lots of things at once.
October is my favorite month of the year. I hope it brings good things this time around. Raina told me that in Australia, October is a spring month. Isn't that weird?