Hickies and heartbreak
I miss you all terribly. I miss fandom. I miss writing and reading fic. I miss my sisters and all my friends in the fandom. Reality is becoming a little too much for me lately.
Some of you know the whole story with John some of you don't. But I guess I'll update you all anyway cause I'm confused as hell. We've been on again off again having an affair for the last six months. I have serious feelings for him. Sometimes I think he's got some for me and others I just don't know. Every time after we are together he says its the last time but it never is. I'm starting to not believe him anymore. He says he feels guilty.
He's getting married in like two months. I don't know what's gonna happen after that honestly. I'm still hoping he realizes that if he really loved her he wouldn't be sleeping with me all the time and doesn't go through with it.
Meh.
Really though I'm feeling rather apathetic about everything right now which isn't a good sign. Idk.
I'm not really sure I have anything else to say except I miss you all very much.
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