Satan mambo-mix or Dreaming magic stars of wonderousness in the icy pitts of my deathmetal soul
So I had this dream which I will retell as best I can to all of you, and yes I realize this is just a story that never really happened but just go with it, for once, fuck. You know, you think you're so fucking big, but you know what what it's not that hard to be big on the Internet what what with photoshop and all that. I mean, you can even resize images in ms paint. And while I realize most of you are actually bigger then me, it's not that hard. I'm like 115lbs FUCK YOU. Those 'what whats' are intentional by the by. I heard some bum like character talk like that. "I like what what you jarbbin' at." he said something like that. He also insisted that he had been the mayor of Paraguay, despite that being a country, but the point I think I'll talk like that. Anyway I was bitching you out. That's right YOU friends list. You fucking heard me. Who are you to stifle my dreams and stories there of? It's pathetic really how long you've been dragging this shit on. Do you care that much? Are my words that important to you? Well I can't be profound all the time. Jesus. I can't take the pressure. I try and try and try to please but you just spit and laugh from your solid gold high horse clicking your diamond fucking spurs, and what what with the ruby saddle and all that. You just have to shove your god damn elitist ideals and Superior bullshit to somewhat honest, vaguely hard working Americans like me. I feel sick from all this. Yes you make me sick. I don't even want to share my dreams with yous guys no more. I know you can't hear it but I'm sniffling in dejection right now. Crap, wait somewhat... does that qualify? Somewhat what? No... guess not. OK OK OK I know, you meant no harm. I guess I kind of over reacted there. Seriously though, you guys can really hurt my feelings. I only really like a few of you anyway. Maybe two. I suppose I can share my dream with the good ones. So, okay now, let's see, everyone who isn't Pinar and Molly and uhh.. well I guess Ava and Ben are alright but they don't really log on at least, post anything. I mean how would you know? Anyway, Caleb, if you are reading this stop. Stop right this fucking instant you goofy fuck. I don't want you to even think about reading about my dream. If you do I'll know and I'll never lend you my zig-zags again. Seriously uncool calling me earlier to tell me that there was people over my house planning to do what what shall not be named and you only had half the equation. Not cool. So in conclusion, if you are reading this and you have not been mentioned positively above, avert your eyes. Alright. So in my dream I'm grazing merrily in an endless ocean of beautiful Midwestern country side, (I'm Devon the goat by the way. I don't look like a goat, I look like me, but I'm doing goatish things and there are goats around me and stuff. Am I still in parenthesise? shit) and yeah grazing grazing and suddenly Wham! I'm in my 9th grade homeroom which happens to be science taught by the creepiest fucker you ever did see. what what with the ominous shifting eyes and the pedder-ass half crooked smile. And he's all "blah blah blah I'm borring and chromosomes and ecosystems and what what not." and I'm minding my own fucking business right? "Devon what what is the fastest route between two points?" Easy I open my mouth with intention to say 'a straight line you creepy fuck.' but all that comes out is a wretched; "BAAAAA BAAAA ABAAAABBAAAA!" and he's like "Wrong! the fastest route between two lines is kicking your ass!" He like, lunges at me from across the desk and pushes me backwards into endless blackness and pain. And I fall, oh how I fall; basking in my own failure as the science room rocket upwards, the annoyingly fast flickering fluorescent lighting growing dimmer and dimmer still. I see laughing disembodied maws and eggbeaters (yeah I know) twirling in all directions. "Fuck" I scream "Baa baa fucking baa huff!" wait. Holy shit is it really six in the morning? fuck. I should be asleep what what with the barbecue only ten hours away! Shit. fuck. wait, that's not in the dream, that's just me talking. Oh yeah, people, you can read this now. I mean those of you who weren't already aloud to. Which is everyone besides whoever I said earlier... uhh Esteban and someone... or something. Caleb, you can't even read this you fucking jerk. I'll finish later unless I get as many complaints as I am anticipating.