Bring it home Beef!

[lz77]

Some poems culled from the blog of my favourite anthropomorphic stuffed animal cat, Roast Beef:

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Raw Deal
by R. Beef Kazenzakis
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Crudités tray sitting there
You reach for a bite
The cauliflower head...too perfect
A movement, the florets fall away
Tarantula shoots up your sleeve

Ohhh shiiiiiit

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Asparagus piece
by R. Beef Kazenzakis
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Asparagus spear is just that
The bushman hurls it through the air
Wait who invited a -GAAAAACK-

[Ohhh shiiiiiit]

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Corned Beef Sandwich
by R. Beef Kazenzakis
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Corned beef sandwich?
Think again.
This is one meal
You will not win.

The beef replaced
With pure beef taste
Brushed onto
A meat-like case

Close your jaws
Depress the plunger
Your head explodes
Inside-out hunger

oh shiiiiiiiiiiit!

As you can see, the dude's got hella raw poetry. Excellent stripts found here and here. Guaranteed to turn the mightiest of frowns upside down.