Complete utter brainfart. (Or, something I learnt in 2009?)
I think I've figured it out.
You shouldn't try and change the people around you, whether you love them or hate them. It's far too tiring and more often than not, has disappointing results. You simply do your best, for yourself as a person, and lead by example. Enjoy life, succeed, and those around you will want to be like you too. It is that effect that has the most powerful influence; this is how much one person can truly change the world. Isn't that why people admire celebrities? Certainly, most of them are extremely talented people, but the point is, they have it made. It makes people wonder what's missing in their own lives.
Of course, it's more personal with people you actually know. That doesn't mean it has to be any different. You doing your best inspires those around you to do their best, and the effect should flow on forever. That's what friendship should be about. That's what life should be about. Failure should only be viewed as a reminder that you're human, then an obstacle to overcome. Your friends will do the best to help you, and you will do your best to succeed. There shouldn't be a need to force anyone to change - it's better to let them do it under their own terms. It lasts longer. What matters most is that you're there when people need support, but have the judgement to know when to let them stand on their own two feet. Any successful person has both a combination of self-determination and support. You can't have a head without a neck or a neck without a head. And don't you want to be that person?
The most two important things in any relationship are open communication and respect. Lies only beget more lies, and if you aren't being honest when people need it the most, then you're betraying their trust. If you lie about what a relationship means to you, you're also lying to yourself. And would you do any of that to someone you respect? Respect also means to respect their boundaries. Just to respect them.
Is that it? Or does anyone want to play devil's advocate? I am also aware that my personal philosophies can often be too passive/idealistic/whatever for people's tastes.
TL;DR Be awesome - this encourages the people around you to be awesome. Then everyone is awesome and having an awesome time.
You shouldn't try and change the people around you, whether you love them or hate them. It's far too tiring and more often than not, has disappointing results. You simply do your best, for yourself as a person, and lead by example. Enjoy life, succeed, and those around you will want to be like you too. It is that effect that has the most powerful influence; this is how much one person can truly change the world. Isn't that why people admire celebrities? Certainly, most of them are extremely talented people, but the point is, they have it made. It makes people wonder what's missing in their own lives.
Of course, it's more personal with people you actually know. That doesn't mean it has to be any different. You doing your best inspires those around you to do their best, and the effect should flow on forever. That's what friendship should be about. That's what life should be about. Failure should only be viewed as a reminder that you're human, then an obstacle to overcome. Your friends will do the best to help you, and you will do your best to succeed. There shouldn't be a need to force anyone to change - it's better to let them do it under their own terms. It lasts longer. What matters most is that you're there when people need support, but have the judgement to know when to let them stand on their own two feet. Any successful person has both a combination of self-determination and support. You can't have a head without a neck or a neck without a head. And don't you want to be that person?
The most two important things in any relationship are open communication and respect. Lies only beget more lies, and if you aren't being honest when people need it the most, then you're betraying their trust. If you lie about what a relationship means to you, you're also lying to yourself. And would you do any of that to someone you respect? Respect also means to respect their boundaries. Just to respect them.
Is that it? Or does anyone want to play devil's advocate? I am also aware that my personal philosophies can often be too passive/idealistic/whatever for people's tastes.
TL;DR Be awesome - this encourages the people around you to be awesome. Then everyone is awesome and having an awesome time.