Fic: Moving Forward - Part 3 (Almost) One Step Back
Title: Moving Forward (Part 3, (Almost) One Step Back)
Series: Aftermath
Rating: R to be safe (see warnings)
Warnings: brief allusion to self-harm
Author's Note: I had intended for this to be tremendously angsty, enough so that all of you would want to rip me to shreds, but it didn't quite work out that way. So yay for that? Only 2 more sections to go, and then this series is complete!
And, just as quickly as his happiness is restored, it is shattered again.
A few days after he returns to Ohio, Blaine comes home to find his dad sitting at the dining room table with a number of envelopes in front of him.
A sinking feeling begins to grow in the pit of his stomach.
"Come in," his father says softly.
Blaine knows this isn't a request.
He toes off his shoes and leaves them on the mat near the door, then enters the dining room and sits down near his father.
It's only then that he realizes the envelopes have been opened.
He feels angry for a moment, and then the sinking feeling intensifies, clawing its way up his throat, choking him.
His dad lifts one of the envelopes, tosses it casually in Blaine's direction.
When he speaks, it's just a single word.
"Rejection."
He picks up another and tosses it over, the same word falling from his lips.
Over and over, until Blaine has nearly a dozen envelopes in front of him and only one remains.
He feels the hot sting of tears threatening behind his eyes, and he wills them away, knowing he won't be able to survive crying in front of his father.
Mr. Anderson picks up the last envelope and pulls the single piece of paper from inside.
"Mr. Blaine Anderson," he begins. "We are honored to inform you of your acceptance to the Tisch School of the Arts-"
He cuts himself off with a scoff.
"Arts school, Blaine, really. Of all the places to be accepted, it had to be arts school." He casts the paper onto the table and rises.
"You could have been accepted somewhere better if you'd tried harder," he says and leaves the room without another word.
Blaine swallows hard and collects the envelopes, then makes his way up the stairs.
He drops his satchel and the envelopes on his bed and glances at the clock.
It is only a little after 5. He has almost an hour before he's supposed to call Kurt.
He leaves the room and goes down the hall to the bathroom.
He opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out a small box.
He thinks back to the last time he did this, to the last time he felt this way.
He opens the box and stares at the contents, reaches for one of the blades and pulls it out with two fingers and stares at it, face blank.
He doesn't move for several minutes.
And then he tosses the blade in the toilet, dumps the entire box in and flushes it, watching them all go down the drain, never to be seen again.
He sighs heavily and rubs a hand over his eyes, then returns to his bedroom to grab his phone.
He pulls down the stairs for the attic and climbs up, pulling the trap door closed behind him.
Using his phone as a flashlight, he makes his way across the room to one of the windows and opens it, crawling out onto the roof and sitting on the edge, dangling his feet against the wall above his window.
He stares down at the ground and tries to keep his mind blank.
It isn't long before he hears his phone ring, the tone telling him it's Kurt, who is definitely wondering (and probably worrying about) why Blaine hasn't called.
"Hey," he says softly.
"Blaine." The relief in Kurt's voice is obvious. "Did something happen? Are you...are you okay?"
Blaine swallows hard and blinks a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Yes...and no."
He hears Kurt take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Tell me everything," Kurt says quietly. "I'm listening."
These five words lift Blaine's spirit just enough, and he tells Kurt the whole story - not just the facts of what happened, but how he felt (and still feels) as well.
When he's finished, he waits for Kurt to speak.
"I love you," Kurt says fiercely. "And your dad, well. You know how I feel about him and what I think of his opinion of you. I don't think we need to go over that again."
He hears Kurt sigh.
"I'm happy for you," he says. "I might smack you the next time I see you since you didn't tell me you applied to Tisch, but I am so, so happy for you, Blaine, really."
Blaine laughs a little, feeling lighter than he has for days.
"Thank you," he says quietly. "Now...how about you tell me about your day?"