movie review: GI Joe
spoilers, obvsly.
I liked it. It was fast, it had some basic plot, and it wasn't all "Americans, yay!" which I was vaguely worried about...
However, there was one thing that is slowly killing my love for it.
The Baroness. I loved her. I loved the idea that this idiot got her brother killed and she snapped and she's on this whole revenge kick and loving it.
Except, of course, she didn't. She was just a meat puppet with no will of her own.
That is so fucking annoying. I can't even put into words how demeaning the concept of "women must be programed to be evil" is, not to mention gutting all of the emotional intensity and just making it sort of stale and boring. I mean, sure, I thought the Baroness/Duke thing was a little eye-roll inducing, but seriously?
PROGRAMED BY HER BROTHER TO FUCK AROUND AND STEAL SHIT AND KILL PEOPLE.
There's sort of no way to save that from being highly fucking offensive.
I was looking forward to all sorts of evil/good conflict with her loyalties, and they just wrecked it, making it all black and white. Bleh.
Also, I'm sure she'll now settle down as a blonde again and be the Perfectest Little Wifey, yays. Right? Because the only reason she wasn't before was brain-washing. =D
And then there's Cover Girl. I... She wasn't fridged, though her death was pointless. She wasn't killed to make anyone angst, she was just killed. And that sucks and is stupid and wouldn't be so bad if she, Scarlett and Baroness weren't the only women with speaking roles.
On the up side, we have Scarlett being utterly awesome and pwning lots. And we have a multi-cultural cast wherein the white American boy pretty much does FUCK ALL. Thank god. Duke was possibly the most useless person on the entire team.
You know how the girl is always getting captured?
Not in GI Joe. In GI Joe, the 'hero' is captured and... saved by a girl.
And then proceeds to do fuck-all again until delivering some figure-head speech.
See, here's a question. Is this a metaphor for how white boys take all the damned credit for everything?
Because, seriously? The planet was saved by the black guy and the girl. Oh, and the mute ninja dude and the French-Moroccan dude.
So, if I ignore the 'brainwashed' bullshit, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Especially since they never BURIED Cover Girl and I am good at fanwanking anyone alive.
Also. GI Joe is multi-national, which I loved as a concept and love even more in action.
GI Joe = UNIT + more firepower - aliens, y/y?
I liked it. It was fast, it had some basic plot, and it wasn't all "Americans, yay!" which I was vaguely worried about...
However, there was one thing that is slowly killing my love for it.
The Baroness. I loved her. I loved the idea that this idiot got her brother killed and she snapped and she's on this whole revenge kick and loving it.
Except, of course, she didn't. She was just a meat puppet with no will of her own.
That is so fucking annoying. I can't even put into words how demeaning the concept of "women must be programed to be evil" is, not to mention gutting all of the emotional intensity and just making it sort of stale and boring. I mean, sure, I thought the Baroness/Duke thing was a little eye-roll inducing, but seriously?
PROGRAMED BY HER BROTHER TO FUCK AROUND AND STEAL SHIT AND KILL PEOPLE.
There's sort of no way to save that from being highly fucking offensive.
I was looking forward to all sorts of evil/good conflict with her loyalties, and they just wrecked it, making it all black and white. Bleh.
Also, I'm sure she'll now settle down as a blonde again and be the Perfectest Little Wifey, yays. Right? Because the only reason she wasn't before was brain-washing. =D
And then there's Cover Girl. I... She wasn't fridged, though her death was pointless. She wasn't killed to make anyone angst, she was just killed. And that sucks and is stupid and wouldn't be so bad if she, Scarlett and Baroness weren't the only women with speaking roles.
On the up side, we have Scarlett being utterly awesome and pwning lots. And we have a multi-cultural cast wherein the white American boy pretty much does FUCK ALL. Thank god. Duke was possibly the most useless person on the entire team.
You know how the girl is always getting captured?
Not in GI Joe. In GI Joe, the 'hero' is captured and... saved by a girl.
And then proceeds to do fuck-all again until delivering some figure-head speech.
See, here's a question. Is this a metaphor for how white boys take all the damned credit for everything?
Because, seriously? The planet was saved by the black guy and the girl. Oh, and the mute ninja dude and the French-Moroccan dude.
So, if I ignore the 'brainwashed' bullshit, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Especially since they never BURIED Cover Girl and I am good at fanwanking anyone alive.
Also. GI Joe is multi-national, which I loved as a concept and love even more in action.
GI Joe = UNIT + more firepower - aliens, y/y?