I can't help it

[lyssepoo]

It's like I enjoy feeding myself pain and heartache. I somehow manage to be very happy for quite some time. Then I just hurt myself. But I can't stop thinking about what my mom said the other day... But I just can't say. "Could you stop that please? It really upsets me." That isn't fair at all.

I shouldn't feel badly about it. But I do. And I will continue to do so. I guess it's just scary. I'm insecure.

I'm lonely. I'm not making it any better on myself. What I need is a hug, and at this moment that won't be possible.

I wish I could stall time.