This Celluloid Dream
I was going to hide this entry away, hoping no one would see. But I guess I'm allowed to be a bit emo or a bit weak every now and again.
I woke up this morning, and although I was completly aware that I was at Danielle's house and stuff, I was so utterly lonely . I just felt like I'd been abandoned or something. It was so odd. I just broke down and started to cry. Not exactly the way I wanted to start my day. I could only pray for strength and I felt terrible that I couldn't even utter a single thanks for another day here. I just felt so desolate.
I went to the Big Apple by Danielle's house and I think the guy overcharged me. I didn't say anything because I was still gloomy and just felt like that was my luck for the day. I also noticed he'd run my card already and I didn't want to be a pest. I've learned now that I have to ask for extra cream cheese if I want to even have a taste of cream cheese since they don't put it on the bagel. Because it isn't called a 'bagel with cream cheese' or anything. And now my stomach is in knots and I keep thinking I'm going to vomit. Yay me.
I couldn't even find a good song to listen to on Sophie. No song was gloomy enough to match my mood and I've yet to make a "This Day Sucks" playlist. I should get on that soon.
Since I didn't quite know how long it would take to get to OU, I left sort of later than usual. I figure I'm closer and it should take less time. Only not so much. I got to OU with 10 minutes to park and had to park at the end of Lot 1. I walked all the way to SFH in 10 minutes, practically breaking my legs. I get to class (yay second floor) and remember that I have a test in ENG215. Yay me. And guess what? I left my book and workbook at home to lighten my bag. And I never printed that chart either. So I took the test without a single page of notes. I torture myself.
I've gotten out of class way early, which is probably the only good thing that's happened thus far. I figure I can run to Kresge and attempt to ask for help for my papers. I have two 10 pages papers due in 10 days and I'm panicked. I've started to cry over that already. And I haven't finished Rushdie for class today and I hope that Gilson devotes time to Carter since we haven't had class for a week. (yay for brochitis)
I also should make a trip home tonight to pick up my copy of Das Kapital, because I'm amazing and left it there when I need it for tomorrow. Ick. I'll pick it up but never be able to read it that fast. It'll be another late night tonight.
I'm just wishing at this point that someone would materilize next to me and hold me while I sob. I hate getting like this, especially if there isn't any particular reason. I've had a fantastic last few days. I had a bad day like this about a week ago and that was following a two week period of happiness. It's really getting on my nerves that I get so down for no reason. Maybe there is a reason--who knows?
I just know that I should walk to Kresge and I only have a hoodie with me. Yay me.
Sometimes I just wish the tears would stop. Can one choke on tears? Perhaps only on a somber day...
I woke up this morning, and although I was completly aware that I was at Danielle's house and stuff, I was so utterly lonely . I just felt like I'd been abandoned or something. It was so odd. I just broke down and started to cry. Not exactly the way I wanted to start my day. I could only pray for strength and I felt terrible that I couldn't even utter a single thanks for another day here. I just felt so desolate.
I went to the Big Apple by Danielle's house and I think the guy overcharged me. I didn't say anything because I was still gloomy and just felt like that was my luck for the day. I also noticed he'd run my card already and I didn't want to be a pest. I've learned now that I have to ask for extra cream cheese if I want to even have a taste of cream cheese since they don't put it on the bagel. Because it isn't called a 'bagel with cream cheese' or anything. And now my stomach is in knots and I keep thinking I'm going to vomit. Yay me.
I couldn't even find a good song to listen to on Sophie. No song was gloomy enough to match my mood and I've yet to make a "This Day Sucks" playlist. I should get on that soon.
Since I didn't quite know how long it would take to get to OU, I left sort of later than usual. I figure I'm closer and it should take less time. Only not so much. I got to OU with 10 minutes to park and had to park at the end of Lot 1. I walked all the way to SFH in 10 minutes, practically breaking my legs. I get to class (yay second floor) and remember that I have a test in ENG215. Yay me. And guess what? I left my book and workbook at home to lighten my bag. And I never printed that chart either. So I took the test without a single page of notes. I torture myself.
I've gotten out of class way early, which is probably the only good thing that's happened thus far. I figure I can run to Kresge and attempt to ask for help for my papers. I have two 10 pages papers due in 10 days and I'm panicked. I've started to cry over that already. And I haven't finished Rushdie for class today and I hope that Gilson devotes time to Carter since we haven't had class for a week. (yay for brochitis)
I also should make a trip home tonight to pick up my copy of Das Kapital, because I'm amazing and left it there when I need it for tomorrow. Ick. I'll pick it up but never be able to read it that fast. It'll be another late night tonight.
I'm just wishing at this point that someone would materilize next to me and hold me while I sob. I hate getting like this, especially if there isn't any particular reason. I've had a fantastic last few days. I had a bad day like this about a week ago and that was following a two week period of happiness. It's really getting on my nerves that I get so down for no reason. Maybe there is a reason--who knows?
I just know that I should walk to Kresge and I only have a hoodie with me. Yay me.
Sometimes I just wish the tears would stop. Can one choke on tears? Perhaps only on a somber day...