insomniac

[lyssamarie17]

my pain is too real
i shouldnt feel this
im supposed to be a happy person
people know me by my smile
but my smile is gone
i cant erase the pain that im feeling
with a smile and a giggle
its too hard
my heart actually hurts
thats a new feeling
i jumped too fast and
am falling too hard
i dont even know if this is real
and im scared that its not
i may break
im more vulnerable
than i have ever felt before
i cant sleep
dont even think about eating
thinking is a task i cant do
breathing hurts
thoughts run through my mind
and i want to ignore them
the little voices
shouting my insecurities
over and over
until they have grown so loud in my head
that no rest can come
i dont want to be awake
and yet sleep seems worse.
every time my eyes close
millions of thoughts run through my head
and i lay staring at the ceiling.
my stomach in knots
my head in pain
my heart is breaking
and i dont even know
if it has the right to.