Poking my head out
Hey guys,
I apologize for my silence. This summer has been one of reflection and wrestling with depression that makes me a naval gazing, introverted slug, and I thought to spare folks, but really, that's just me balling up. So, here I am, thinking of you all, missing you.
Writing has been slow. Rejections suck. I need to resubmit poetry and fight the thoughts that assure me that I am really mediocre and that will never change. It's bullshit, but owning that up here helps me submit. That...sounded wrong, but hey, I'll take it. :) Speaking of submission, I have spoken to corvaxgirl and promised her some smutdraft on a retelling of Jekyll and Hyde by Sunday at midnight, which got me to open up the draft bits that were currently sitting for months, stare at them, and say, "Fuck, I need to do something to put this together!" And that's another start. Deadlines are good. Deadlines help and I need to get to them. I need to finish spinning elven yarn. I need to do updates. And with luck, sales. :) Which also means get to Bethesda and try the market there...and really job hunt. And stress. Oh and walk so I do not suck at the Baltimore half marathon that I will be walking with in October with thewronghands/.
This is how my brain has been spinning over the summer, conjuring up guilt in the face of my emotional state that keeps me rooted. Ok, that and I have screwed up my sleep schedule, staying up late. So, tomorrow, walking early, and I'll check in here to let folks know how things are going.
And just when I think I haven't been doing anything, I step out into the garden and see the harvest that I am still tending. We overplanted this year, and so some things matured slowly. This is, I suspect, the lesson for me this season. Time. Persistence. Patience. Gentleness to oneself in the process. Because I would've told you when I was feeling down, that the garden didn't do as good as I wanted it. We overplanted, so everything matured at a crawl, or was smaller in size. But we did have a great yield, just the same. And now that the tomato and tomatillo plants are out, the melons will finish ripening and the peppers have decided to start producing. I suspect pepper production will carry on until, if, we get a frost. Last year, we had peppers into November. The watermelons are still ripening--and may I add, telling when a watermelon is ripe is a thing that requires some experience. We were early on two melons and they were just starting to turn pink inside. It was tragic, I tell you, though we did dig into the the wet, sweetening flesh anyway, and I watch the stems and hope this time the promise of crimson delight will yet be mine.
Among the many garden things I learned this year: Plant early. End of April. Early as you can. Supplement the soil with bone meal. Do this at least twice, minimum, because our soil needs it. (It took 3 times, because I planted all heavy feeders too close together. ALL the heavy feeders.)
Cucumbers planted early in the front of the yard are the most resistant to cucumber beetles. This resulted in cucumbers until the first week of August and 5 half gallon jars of fridge pickles that will carry us through the fall. Tomatillos produced a number of wee fruits, which we have turned into roasted frozen baggies of joy in the deep freezer. Until this past year, I had not really explored the tasty Mexican goodness of tomatillos. This is now remedied, as I have made the best enchiladas verdes EVAR, and hopefully, I have enough to do it at least two more times during the winter. (As I have found whole wheat tortillas, thewronghands may be one of the lucky recipients of these NOMS. Also, I learned that two casserole dishes of said enchiladas will be devoured in 3 days time. Make a lot.) HOWEVER, next year, the tomatillos will be planted on the side or the front of the house, because OMG MONSTER PLANTS. Um, no one told me we were supposed to stake them, either. Two plants nearly ate 1/3 of the garden. So, we'll be giving them their own space next year.
Cherokee purple tomatoes are the best variety I have ever had. There, now you know. Oh, and drying Romas into tomato chips? Do this. (Especially when said over planting causes them to produce to the size of large cherry tomatoes and you have more than you can eat. Dried...you can just devour them at will. In a day.) And here is a recipe for green tomato relish that I slightly modified, using half the onions and adding hot peppers and green peppers from the garden. It is fantastic and now I have four pints canned, plus one opened jar in the fridge. (I don't think I had the quantity of greens they wanted, hence the modification of more peppers, less onions. It was close though. The ration was about half and half green tomatoes to a mix of onions and peppers. I used the same brine amounts.) Tomatoes roasted in the oven are also fabulous. Eat them with Boursin and baguette. Or on pizza. Or just because. :) (Cut in half, drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with sugar and salt. Add herbs and lots of garlic. Roast at 350F for 1.5-2 hours, depending on how caramelized you like them. Or roast at 300 for less caramelizing/mess with the time. It's not a difficult thing.)
Straw mulch is wonderful. Use it. Weed less. Water less.
And this is the thing about perspective, expectations, not seeing what you have. I look back at what I've done and produced, and I am proud. I've fed the family. I've fed friends. I've finished art. And hey, I finished writing, submitted to 3 markets...and will do more. I am submitting to fiber festivals for next year. Beginnings. Learning. Processes.
I really must try to be more patient with myself.
Love you guys!
I apologize for my silence. This summer has been one of reflection and wrestling with depression that makes me a naval gazing, introverted slug, and I thought to spare folks, but really, that's just me balling up. So, here I am, thinking of you all, missing you.
Writing has been slow. Rejections suck. I need to resubmit poetry and fight the thoughts that assure me that I am really mediocre and that will never change. It's bullshit, but owning that up here helps me submit. That...sounded wrong, but hey, I'll take it. :) Speaking of submission, I have spoken to corvaxgirl and promised her some smutdraft on a retelling of Jekyll and Hyde by Sunday at midnight, which got me to open up the draft bits that were currently sitting for months, stare at them, and say, "Fuck, I need to do something to put this together!" And that's another start. Deadlines are good. Deadlines help and I need to get to them. I need to finish spinning elven yarn. I need to do updates. And with luck, sales. :) Which also means get to Bethesda and try the market there...and really job hunt. And stress. Oh and walk so I do not suck at the Baltimore half marathon that I will be walking with in October with thewronghands/.
This is how my brain has been spinning over the summer, conjuring up guilt in the face of my emotional state that keeps me rooted. Ok, that and I have screwed up my sleep schedule, staying up late. So, tomorrow, walking early, and I'll check in here to let folks know how things are going.
And just when I think I haven't been doing anything, I step out into the garden and see the harvest that I am still tending. We overplanted this year, and so some things matured slowly. This is, I suspect, the lesson for me this season. Time. Persistence. Patience. Gentleness to oneself in the process. Because I would've told you when I was feeling down, that the garden didn't do as good as I wanted it. We overplanted, so everything matured at a crawl, or was smaller in size. But we did have a great yield, just the same. And now that the tomato and tomatillo plants are out, the melons will finish ripening and the peppers have decided to start producing. I suspect pepper production will carry on until, if, we get a frost. Last year, we had peppers into November. The watermelons are still ripening--and may I add, telling when a watermelon is ripe is a thing that requires some experience. We were early on two melons and they were just starting to turn pink inside. It was tragic, I tell you, though we did dig into the the wet, sweetening flesh anyway, and I watch the stems and hope this time the promise of crimson delight will yet be mine.
Among the many garden things I learned this year: Plant early. End of April. Early as you can. Supplement the soil with bone meal. Do this at least twice, minimum, because our soil needs it. (It took 3 times, because I planted all heavy feeders too close together. ALL the heavy feeders.)
Cucumbers planted early in the front of the yard are the most resistant to cucumber beetles. This resulted in cucumbers until the first week of August and 5 half gallon jars of fridge pickles that will carry us through the fall. Tomatillos produced a number of wee fruits, which we have turned into roasted frozen baggies of joy in the deep freezer. Until this past year, I had not really explored the tasty Mexican goodness of tomatillos. This is now remedied, as I have made the best enchiladas verdes EVAR, and hopefully, I have enough to do it at least two more times during the winter. (As I have found whole wheat tortillas, thewronghands may be one of the lucky recipients of these NOMS. Also, I learned that two casserole dishes of said enchiladas will be devoured in 3 days time. Make a lot.) HOWEVER, next year, the tomatillos will be planted on the side or the front of the house, because OMG MONSTER PLANTS. Um, no one told me we were supposed to stake them, either. Two plants nearly ate 1/3 of the garden. So, we'll be giving them their own space next year.
Cherokee purple tomatoes are the best variety I have ever had. There, now you know. Oh, and drying Romas into tomato chips? Do this. (Especially when said over planting causes them to produce to the size of large cherry tomatoes and you have more than you can eat. Dried...you can just devour them at will. In a day.) And here is a recipe for green tomato relish that I slightly modified, using half the onions and adding hot peppers and green peppers from the garden. It is fantastic and now I have four pints canned, plus one opened jar in the fridge. (I don't think I had the quantity of greens they wanted, hence the modification of more peppers, less onions. It was close though. The ration was about half and half green tomatoes to a mix of onions and peppers. I used the same brine amounts.) Tomatoes roasted in the oven are also fabulous. Eat them with Boursin and baguette. Or on pizza. Or just because. :) (Cut in half, drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with sugar and salt. Add herbs and lots of garlic. Roast at 350F for 1.5-2 hours, depending on how caramelized you like them. Or roast at 300 for less caramelizing/mess with the time. It's not a difficult thing.)
Straw mulch is wonderful. Use it. Weed less. Water less.
And this is the thing about perspective, expectations, not seeing what you have. I look back at what I've done and produced, and I am proud. I've fed the family. I've fed friends. I've finished art. And hey, I finished writing, submitted to 3 markets...and will do more. I am submitting to fiber festivals for next year. Beginnings. Learning. Processes.
I really must try to be more patient with myself.
Love you guys!