Debates
So, today Eric and I had a couple of intellectual debates about various topics, and I re-discovered how severely I tend to get uncomfortable in any form of disagreement, even a healthy one. If it drags on for any considerable length of time, I start to think, "fuck it, I don't care, you win by default." After more pondering, I think this is because of the negative nature of pretty much all debates and arguments in the house while we were growing up.
What does this have to do with anything besides random musings? Frustration, I guess. I really hate Grandma and Grandpa "discussing" my relationship with Eric on only their terms, and trying to get their point across, and change my opinion. I really hate Mom trying to convert me to her view of things so that I don't criticize her, even when she's being fucking stupid, and I tell her so. I really dislike circular arguments and discussions that get nowhere over time.
I hate to say it, but that's kinda the way that I feel a couple of key issues are going right now. Mom's having issues of many kinds, one of which is with Whit and Dustin's relationship. Not her place to choose Whitney's mate for her; she should voice her opinions once, and move on. But no, she is citing all manner of people as agreeing with her who either don't, or couldn't give two shits about the matter, or both. On the other side of things, I'm being asked whether or not I think they have a good relationship - yeah, it seems like a fine relationship, just leave me alone already, please. I've already stated my opinions on this matter, on numerous occasion, and yet I am repeatedly asked to reiterate them. I do not like this; it seems pointless for all parties involved, and often includes a lot of "he said" "she said" bullshit that I really hate dealing with. If Mom, Whit and Dustin are having issues, I wish they'd talk to each other, rather than through me, and rather than having me gauge everyone's opinions of things, or what's been said.
With the debate with Eric, we didn't really see eye-to-eye at all, and I couldn't express myself well, so it was highly frustrating for both of us. However, we know each other well, and came to understand one another's points eventually, and things were concluded just fine. That's the thing, with all of these various debates: there seems to be no conclusion. No matter how often I voice my opinion, or what I've heard, it cycles around again.
I'm not saying that I don't want people to talk to me about issues that need some debate or discussion, or disagreement - I'm just saying, I get kinda tired of hashing out the same old issues without any sort of headway being made other than both parties getting more and more offended, and less likely to listen to one another, except through a third party (except in the case of G&G, where they're just on some holy crusade to get me to turn away from my sin-laden lifestyle).
What does this have to do with anything besides random musings? Frustration, I guess. I really hate Grandma and Grandpa "discussing" my relationship with Eric on only their terms, and trying to get their point across, and change my opinion. I really hate Mom trying to convert me to her view of things so that I don't criticize her, even when she's being fucking stupid, and I tell her so. I really dislike circular arguments and discussions that get nowhere over time.
I hate to say it, but that's kinda the way that I feel a couple of key issues are going right now. Mom's having issues of many kinds, one of which is with Whit and Dustin's relationship. Not her place to choose Whitney's mate for her; she should voice her opinions once, and move on. But no, she is citing all manner of people as agreeing with her who either don't, or couldn't give two shits about the matter, or both. On the other side of things, I'm being asked whether or not I think they have a good relationship - yeah, it seems like a fine relationship, just leave me alone already, please. I've already stated my opinions on this matter, on numerous occasion, and yet I am repeatedly asked to reiterate them. I do not like this; it seems pointless for all parties involved, and often includes a lot of "he said" "she said" bullshit that I really hate dealing with. If Mom, Whit and Dustin are having issues, I wish they'd talk to each other, rather than through me, and rather than having me gauge everyone's opinions of things, or what's been said.
With the debate with Eric, we didn't really see eye-to-eye at all, and I couldn't express myself well, so it was highly frustrating for both of us. However, we know each other well, and came to understand one another's points eventually, and things were concluded just fine. That's the thing, with all of these various debates: there seems to be no conclusion. No matter how often I voice my opinion, or what I've heard, it cycles around again.
I'm not saying that I don't want people to talk to me about issues that need some debate or discussion, or disagreement - I'm just saying, I get kinda tired of hashing out the same old issues without any sort of headway being made other than both parties getting more and more offended, and less likely to listen to one another, except through a third party (except in the case of G&G, where they're just on some holy crusade to get me to turn away from my sin-laden lifestyle).