*Normal?*
I am really feeling like I need some normal right now. With weddings and kids and roommates and life and working on Saturday I feel rushed, disorganized and tired.
I actually told my husband today that I wished he would go to bed earlier and get up earlier with me because nights were killing me and that my body was fighting me at every single step I take to get back to the schedule I was on with him before everything went nuts. I felt like I was betraying him by just TELLING him that because I know that he will feel guilty and want to try even though he doesnt want to do it, which in turn is going to make me feel like a bad wife. Not that I am, and not that he should. This is just how I feel. I wasn telling him in a jovial kind of way that I really prefered this and that I missed seeing the day light and I wished we could always do it this way. He made a face and said that it wouldnt matter because he would be inside for most of it anyway. Which is when, to my shame, I did say "Great, you are condeming me a lifetime of night." Which was kind of dramatic, but it is pretty much how I have been feeling.
Don't get me wrong. I will fight to keep my schedule to whatever schedule Chad wants for himself. He works hard and if that is what he wants I can't see not trying to make it work the way that he wants me to.
I just hate it.
I need sunshine. There were no clouds in the sky this morning and it was cool outside and I felt energized and good and positive. Seriously? Even a little giddy. I cant say that every morning would be that way, and I cant say it would last forever. I can say that I was happier for that moment.
So Chad said he would try to switch us around, but knowing how much he doesnt want to makes me want to let it go.
*sigh*
I actually told my husband today that I wished he would go to bed earlier and get up earlier with me because nights were killing me and that my body was fighting me at every single step I take to get back to the schedule I was on with him before everything went nuts. I felt like I was betraying him by just TELLING him that because I know that he will feel guilty and want to try even though he doesnt want to do it, which in turn is going to make me feel like a bad wife. Not that I am, and not that he should. This is just how I feel. I wasn telling him in a jovial kind of way that I really prefered this and that I missed seeing the day light and I wished we could always do it this way. He made a face and said that it wouldnt matter because he would be inside for most of it anyway. Which is when, to my shame, I did say "Great, you are condeming me a lifetime of night." Which was kind of dramatic, but it is pretty much how I have been feeling.
Don't get me wrong. I will fight to keep my schedule to whatever schedule Chad wants for himself. He works hard and if that is what he wants I can't see not trying to make it work the way that he wants me to.
I just hate it.
I need sunshine. There were no clouds in the sky this morning and it was cool outside and I felt energized and good and positive. Seriously? Even a little giddy. I cant say that every morning would be that way, and I cant say it would last forever. I can say that I was happier for that moment.
So Chad said he would try to switch us around, but knowing how much he doesnt want to makes me want to let it go.
*sigh*