(no subject)

[lysolsd]

Yeah... so... I dunno... coming home was all cool and stuff... and I thought I'd be good for a while... like until I got back home... I was kinda hoping I'd magically become 'normal' here... but I still don't drink or go to parties. I spent my 4 day weekend in my room... playing a fucking video game (World of Warcrack)... I dunno why i'm so addicted to that game... it's not really fun... its really aggravating... and my inferiority complex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferiority_complex) and my competitiveness (I get competitive over the wierdest things) really get to me when I get beaten... I want to be the best there is, but also know that I can't ever be the best... but I continually play this game... hour after hour... and my 'friends' in the game say I bitch and complain a lot... which I guess is true... seems like all I do on this journal thing too... I really should work on that... but the whole point of this was, this is was before I went home... and while I was at home, I was fine... I didn't try to play the game, I didn't care. Life was good... I hung out with my friends... even worked up the courage to call the Coolest Girl Ever. She talked to me... I was happy. Then I came back here... and I thought, ok... it's not so bad... I'll hang out on the weekends, go drink... go to parties... do normal shit. But after a month of being back, i'm into the same routine and *STILL HATING LIFE*... even Swingshift doesn't compensate... I feel like shit... life revolves around work and the game... how dull... and every day... i feel like i'm slipping further and further away from life... like i'm losing my intelligence... i used to be good at programming... which was ok... logic based... i can do that... now i can't even beat connect 4... much less a chess game. I get all worked up over this game, talking to people at work who play it... 5 other people at work play it...but wtf for? I'm not going to get a BA in Wowology with a Computer Gaming minor... i'm not making any money off this game... i should instead begin saving for my new car... that would be a smart thing to do... or maybe even something more manly... trying to get a girlfriend... that would be a novelty. 'What! kiss a girl! eeew... girls have cooties!' wtf over. this is probably just another standard shitty mood... i'll probably figure something out... or maybe just end up playing more WoW... how fun.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Phil? I thought you were the pimp? I can't believe you can't get a date. Just walk up and smile. Say I'm phil... I'm sure they'll just faint or something.

Anyone ever seen the movie Hitch? That dude makes it look so easy... i guess that's the whole point. yeah... that chunky mofo reminds me of... well.. me. kinda sad.

One of these years... i'll figure this whole life bitch out...

-Lysol