Mar 04, 2005 19:45
Yeah, so my goal in life for a while now has been to become hardcore. Just a badass motherfucker. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to do this... but I knew what the end product was supposed to look like... (Yeah, I know most of these are out of movies.)
Tom Jane - The Punisher
Vin Diesel - Riddick, XXX, Knockaround Guys
the Rock - Walking Tall
Arnold Schwarzenneger - Terminator 2, Predator
Samuel L Jackson - Jules (Pulp Fiction)
Dante - Devil May Cry
Kiefer Sutherland - 24
Russell Crowe - Gladiator
Bruce Willis - Die Hard 1-3
Master Chief - Halo 1-2
Jet Li - The One, Kiss of the Dragon, Lethal Weapon 4, Hero... and the list goes on
Wesley Snipes - Blade
Brad Pitt - Troy, Fight Club
And you can definitely call me a dork for this one:
Darth Vader - Star Wars ( I mean, really... this dude was like, I fucked up, I'm sorry... and he choked the dude anyway. Badass. )
Yes, I know there are more, but between the Punisher and Riddick I think its pretty well covered. I just wanted to grow up and become a tough, cold, angry, badass mother fucker, where nothing phases me, and I can kick anyone's ass.
Well, I figured I've got a lot of work to do. But the matter became pressing when I decided I wanted to try to come home in May. See, most of my friends remember me from high school. Tall, yet weak, spineless, chubby, dumbass mother fucker that I was. Well, the AF changed the chubby part for a while. Well, this base hasn't helped. There was no PT schedule here, and without it, I've been going to shit. Not nearly as bad as I was back in high school, but still worse than basic. Well, the original plan was to not take leave until I was done with this shit hole, so I'd have a whole year to be doing my new PT, and trying to eat right, and getting buff and what not... but coming home in May kinda sucks, cause I don't know if I can be ready in time.
Quite honestly... I want to be buff and good looking so that when the Coolest Girl Ever sees me, if she does... I won't disappoint her by looking like ass. So I've been doing my PT... but I realized that there was more to being a badass than being as stacked as Vin Diesel (There's a dude in s/m that looks like a short version of him... its actually kinda funny... as long as you don't piss him off). I mean, what good are you if you look like Vin Diesel, but you still punch like a 5 yr old. So I'm taking Karate and Tae Kwon Do now too (Each 2 days a week). And there's more than that too. If I'm still afraid of everyone what good does it do me? The only way I have any balls to my attitude is if I'm seriously pissed off... then I'll puff up to the Army mofo in my shop (And he CAN kick my ass)... so I'm trying to figure out a way to stop being such a pansy. I've wanted to be like this since I was little... I just didn't realize it... and I certainly didn't do anything about it. I always wanted to be stronger than my dad... but even to this day he can kick my ass.
I've been working on my pain tolerance... I've figured out that if I get kinda hurt (running your head into a metal corner of a jet is considered kinda hurt to me now) the pain is very sharp at first, but it dulls quickly. Now I've got to figure out how I can do that without the shock of pain. Once my pain tolerance is that good, I'll be good. Another part of this is how tough I am. I remember one of my friends wailing on my arm and I had a bruise that hurt for a month. A month! that's a long fucking time. See, I've never been in a real fight. I've been punched, but no one's ever been for my blood. How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? (Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden in Fight Club) So I wanted to get my 'Leather skin' (Vin Diesel, Knockaround Guys) by joining the Army Infantry. Either I'll be dead or I'll be hardcore. One way or another... I'd go with Marines... but they're just dumb. I respect the hell out of them... but most of em really are pretty dumb. My friend from the Army was saying how he and his friends would go out to bars and try their new moves on mofos in the bar. It was all good as long as they didn't get their asses kicked. Which they usually didn't. He's got a scar on his arm from a knife fight... as he explained it... "That guy had a knife... I had my arm. He was just swinging, so I took a hit to my arm but got close to him where he couldn't use his knife and I beat the FUCK out of him."
Finally... becoming Cold. Maybe I'm more fucked up in the head than I usually let on... but I think that some of the coolest mother fuckers ever are the Cold hearts. Emotionless badasses like the Punisher. Where they killed his family, and he could no longer feel. I think emotions that run unchecked become a weakness. Anger is useful, but it can blind you to your objective. If you can tap the energy you get from your anger, without being angry, then now you have the advantage over someone who's just angry... You will think clearly without the emotion... Just it's power. Heh, another point made is that the guys in my shop are all egging me on, cause I'm just so weak... I can't even ask a girl out on a date... but as they say, I shouldn't wait hand and foot on a girl, and act as her puppy. Girls tend to like it (at first, I assume) when they are ignored and not treated as nicely, because then it becomes a challenge, and then they want to go with you, like a trophy. I honestly don't know if that works, as I have no prior knowledge and absolutely no experience... but just the thought of treating the Best Girl in the World like that... I can't... I won't... so I don't know how I could... but then again... no matter how I turn out, I'm positive that I'll never be the right guy for the Right Girl. The moon, the stars, the Sun, all just as Beautiful, all as unattainable as the #1 Crush.
I guess all of this is just spurring from my teenage hormones... or whatever the fuck.
GRRRR.
-Lysol, Hardcore Badass Motherfucker Wannabe
Tell me I'm crazy so at least I have an excuse for this.