AF: Cross into the Screw
Yeah, so I was all talking to my friend... and he went from an Army grunt (infantry) to Air Force crew chief (Aircraft mechanic) and he says that he wants to go back to the Army... so I all got talking to him about it... and apparently the army is a pretty good deal... so I'm thinking about this Blue to Green program they have, where I can go to there basic, then I have 15 mos to either get out of it, or enlist there. For some reason, Infantry just sounds like a fun job, he said that his entire job consisted of working out, learning new ways to kill people, and then training. Shit, with all the bullshit I up with here, I should be able to handle that. That sounds like fun. He was talking about his friend and him, they would go into bars, and just start fights to see if some of that shit actually worked... and this one friend of his has a 'one hitter quitter' ... just knock someone the FUCK out. I want to be that strong someday... I mean, like, I'm only 19... so I've my years ahead of me... but like one of my friends was saying... I feel like I'm wasting my life. I don't enjoy this place, or my lifestyle... I don't interact with people... and when I gave up my super chipper hyper active personality, everyone thought I was going to commit suicide, so I got all this really uncool attention... like... MSgt all coming up to me... "hey man, you alright? you need to talk? you need a shoulder to cry on or something?" GA!@!:LFKJ:AHH!@#$U*Y@*^#R@#T:LKH!@)($*^!@#()%^!!!!!!!!!!!! so angry. We haven't even invented the words for how angry that kinda shit can make me... that's another thing... I haven't been able to control my anger lately... I get so angry I'll have fits... like... just start hitting shit... I almost fractured my wrist when I slammed my forearm down on something too hard... ooh, that didn't feel good... it prolly wouldn't have fractured... didn't even bruise... just hurt like a mother fucker... yeah so this cool sheetmetal chick that I really like... but am too coward to ask out was all screwin around at her tool box, so I went over to chat and stuff, and she was playing with a grinder, grinding some metal thing down, then she like, tried to scare me with it, and then she took a chunk of skin off my arm... cause she thought i'd move... that was a pretty shitty time too. it wasn't that big... just like... taking a grinder to ones arm... I guess... Ahh... my journal entries suck... I'm always bitching about something... and there's no like... structure to it... just random thoughts...
yeah, so the coolest girl in the world (sorry lil mac... you're second) was having some issues with her boyfriend... and I wasn't like, trying to flirt with her, cause I like her... like... a ridiculous amount... like I dunno... like a lot. I like her so much that I don't know why I like her... I just do... its like a crack addiction... I HAVE to like her... when I went to tech school, I thought... alright... she didn't like me in high school... and now that I'm pretty far away, and she's going to college, she'll prolly get a guy and marry some time, and then I'll just be SOL... So I thought... alright. I'll just stop thinking about her... I'll decide I don't like her... That lasted all of about a week... I had trouble at work/school... I couldn't sleep at night for like, a long periods of time... and then one night I just had a complete inspiration... and I wrote her this super long letter (for me anyway, it was only like 2 pages)... and I IM'd it to her... I was all like... I like this girl so much, that I don't care if she gets married... as long as its too a good guy and she's happy and good for life... and has like as many kids as she wants, and everything is just good... forever... I'll die happy. So she was just talking to me, and we usually don't talk long... prolly cause I'm not that interesting... just sometimes... but we talked for a long time... and I was really good to go for a while... cause she talked to ME! and I was happy... but lately it does not seem so for her... and that makes me sad... but I don't want to interrupt, cause its her own personal life, and I don't like to be intruding or trying to insert myself into someone's personal life... its kinda rude or something. But I want to know... and I want to make it all better... but I can't... cause I'm all the way over here... and most times... cause the world just kinda sucks... Its a new rule of physics... the suck factor... like gravity... except it only works on good things... argh... soo.. frustrating...
OOOHHHH I JUST WANT TO COME HOME AND EVERYTHING TO BE RIGHT AGAIN.... but sadly this is not the way of the world... I would gladly take second place if first place was the guy who made my girl happy. Oh man... I just thought about that... I had a dream... like, I don't really dream anymore... I pretty much only have nightmares now... which kinda sucks... but well... shit happens... so I had a dream about the coolest girl ever.... and it was a happy dream... and then she died, and there was nothing I could do to stop it... and I completely freaked out... like, it was during a weekend, so I guess I prolly hadn't gotten much sleep, but I was confused and like, freaking out when I woke up... seriously... just spazzing. I didn't know what to do with myself... and then I went to my computer and saw that she was still online, and so I sent her an IM... and I've talked to her since then... so Its all cool... but for a little while man... it got kinda bad... but then later, she wasn't on for a few days... and I started getting worried again... cause you know how your nightmares can affect you sometimes? like, put thoughts into your head that wouldn't normally be there? Argh.
So... remember this keyword *MIGHT* in the following sentence. I *MIGHT* be coming home in May. I haven't made any concrete plans yet though.. even though its like, REALLY close... but whatever.
Deuces
-Lysol, Spray Disinfectant
yeah, so the coolest girl in the world (sorry lil mac... you're second) was having some issues with her boyfriend... and I wasn't like, trying to flirt with her, cause I like her... like... a ridiculous amount... like I dunno... like a lot. I like her so much that I don't know why I like her... I just do... its like a crack addiction... I HAVE to like her... when I went to tech school, I thought... alright... she didn't like me in high school... and now that I'm pretty far away, and she's going to college, she'll prolly get a guy and marry some time, and then I'll just be SOL... So I thought... alright. I'll just stop thinking about her... I'll decide I don't like her... That lasted all of about a week... I had trouble at work/school... I couldn't sleep at night for like, a long periods of time... and then one night I just had a complete inspiration... and I wrote her this super long letter (for me anyway, it was only like 2 pages)... and I IM'd it to her... I was all like... I like this girl so much, that I don't care if she gets married... as long as its too a good guy and she's happy and good for life... and has like as many kids as she wants, and everything is just good... forever... I'll die happy. So she was just talking to me, and we usually don't talk long... prolly cause I'm not that interesting... just sometimes... but we talked for a long time... and I was really good to go for a while... cause she talked to ME! and I was happy... but lately it does not seem so for her... and that makes me sad... but I don't want to interrupt, cause its her own personal life, and I don't like to be intruding or trying to insert myself into someone's personal life... its kinda rude or something. But I want to know... and I want to make it all better... but I can't... cause I'm all the way over here... and most times... cause the world just kinda sucks... Its a new rule of physics... the suck factor... like gravity... except it only works on good things... argh... soo.. frustrating...
OOOHHHH I JUST WANT TO COME HOME AND EVERYTHING TO BE RIGHT AGAIN.... but sadly this is not the way of the world... I would gladly take second place if first place was the guy who made my girl happy. Oh man... I just thought about that... I had a dream... like, I don't really dream anymore... I pretty much only have nightmares now... which kinda sucks... but well... shit happens... so I had a dream about the coolest girl ever.... and it was a happy dream... and then she died, and there was nothing I could do to stop it... and I completely freaked out... like, it was during a weekend, so I guess I prolly hadn't gotten much sleep, but I was confused and like, freaking out when I woke up... seriously... just spazzing. I didn't know what to do with myself... and then I went to my computer and saw that she was still online, and so I sent her an IM... and I've talked to her since then... so Its all cool... but for a little while man... it got kinda bad... but then later, she wasn't on for a few days... and I started getting worried again... cause you know how your nightmares can affect you sometimes? like, put thoughts into your head that wouldn't normally be there? Argh.
So... remember this keyword *MIGHT* in the following sentence. I *MIGHT* be coming home in May. I haven't made any concrete plans yet though.. even though its like, REALLY close... but whatever.
Deuces
-Lysol, Spray Disinfectant