I do not want your sympathy. It's fake and unwanted.
Well Christmas has come and gone, and another "new" year is approaching. So much has changed in the last month. Changes that I never saw coming. I'm stuck in a turning point, but I don't know where I am turning. School starts in about 2 weeks, and I'm not enrolled in any classes, and I don't even know if I'm going to school this semester. I want to go to school,but there are obstacles to be overcome first. All these changes have happened so fast that I feel as if I haven't even taken the time to reflect on them. I don't know if I want to reflect or if I should. Maybe I should just keep going on this crazy ride. It really isn't crazy, but when you are a bore like me then it is crazy. I'm happy. Not as happy as I could be, but I'm working on it. I have met an amazing person. He has been nothing but kind to me, and I don't know why. I'm stunned by it. At times, I feel unknown. I wonder if there is anyone out there who really knows me. It doesn't matter if there is or not. I'm glad that I'm a nobody. So this amazing guy is about to leave to go out of town for new years, and I know he is going to have the time of his life. Eventually he will have to come back here. I know that he won't want to come home even though I am here. I have realized that I will never be enough to make this place seem worth while. It's okay. What do I expect? Nothing, right? I had a good Christmas and I hope all of you did as well. I am sorry for disappointing others. It seems that disappointment is what I'm good at. I am sad that you are dropping me as a friend. It is time for me to go. I feel like a new person, but I don't know who it is. Give me time. I'm adjusting. I just don't think that I am very good at it. My Christmas wish is to be noticed. Truly noticed. Someone tell me that you know me and you see me.