Burning out...
Things are getting tough. It has been harder to drag myself out of bed to get to work. It is not because I cannot complete my work in time. It is also not because the work is tough. It is not because I do not like the job.
Certain aspects of the job has repetitive issues and help is not at hand. Being tasked to look after the situation is crappy. The problems are not huge issues but the responsibilities that falls on me are so because there is no one else to place the finger on. That is the crappy part. To make matter worse, the mess was not created by me and I have to clean up the shit that someone else created.
Facing customers and trying to smile and act as if things will be fine is not my forte. This job has not been easy to catch on. As a life science student, learning how to do some programming, understand scripts, doing electrical work, reading circuit diagrams, understanding mechanical movements and it's relevant aspects are not something I learn in school. In fact, during university years, there has been only the biological part.
Survival is the word for me. Who does not like to work in a field that he dreams of making a future? Who does not want to have the freedom to do what he wants, when he wants? I love the arts. Always wanted to be in the arts. Ever since my secondary school days, I have love being on stage acting, playing around, just being in character.
Unfortutnately, I do not have a choice. Survival in the real world means actually having enough to support myself and of course, now my family. My next love was with Science, finding out things that are unknown. Exploring what has not been discovered. However, my family is not rich and neither am I smart enough to get a scholarship. I could not continue to do my masters, much less PhD.
Then Life slaps me in the face and faced with bills and no cash in the bank (almost all used up when I went to study for my Bachelor), it was either beg/borrow/steal or I have to find my own way. Then, my pathetic life and path was formed...
Never really looked back since. With a family to look after now, I cannot simply pursue my interest without any respect for my family. Maybe in 10-15 years' time, I will have some freedom to give it all up and chase after what I gave up 15 years ago. Hopefully, I will be still be in some condition to follow that dream.
Certain aspects of the job has repetitive issues and help is not at hand. Being tasked to look after the situation is crappy. The problems are not huge issues but the responsibilities that falls on me are so because there is no one else to place the finger on. That is the crappy part. To make matter worse, the mess was not created by me and I have to clean up the shit that someone else created.
Facing customers and trying to smile and act as if things will be fine is not my forte. This job has not been easy to catch on. As a life science student, learning how to do some programming, understand scripts, doing electrical work, reading circuit diagrams, understanding mechanical movements and it's relevant aspects are not something I learn in school. In fact, during university years, there has been only the biological part.
Survival is the word for me. Who does not like to work in a field that he dreams of making a future? Who does not want to have the freedom to do what he wants, when he wants? I love the arts. Always wanted to be in the arts. Ever since my secondary school days, I have love being on stage acting, playing around, just being in character.
Unfortutnately, I do not have a choice. Survival in the real world means actually having enough to support myself and of course, now my family. My next love was with Science, finding out things that are unknown. Exploring what has not been discovered. However, my family is not rich and neither am I smart enough to get a scholarship. I could not continue to do my masters, much less PhD.
Then Life slaps me in the face and faced with bills and no cash in the bank (almost all used up when I went to study for my Bachelor), it was either beg/borrow/steal or I have to find my own way. Then, my pathetic life and path was formed...
Never really looked back since. With a family to look after now, I cannot simply pursue my interest without any respect for my family. Maybe in 10-15 years' time, I will have some freedom to give it all up and chase after what I gave up 15 years ago. Hopefully, I will be still be in some condition to follow that dream.