"I recon her mojo is just finally on."
Things always get interesting when I'm not around! I stopped watching Rush midway through Season 2, because it got way too Lawson-heavy for me, and the characterisations just seemed to be all over the place. Now, I've re-connected with my old flame again, and yes, the characterisations still boggle the mind, but good God, the show's become so gay, I can't even. Stella and Shannon are so doing it; canon!kissage and SPOONING, guys! I'm so happy. And shallow, but that goes without saying.
First of all, let me just say that Shannon is one tough biatch. And she's handling a sniper like nobody's business, it's fabulous.
Hnnnnh!
Right, just had to get that out of the way.
So, the gay. THE GAY. They're throwing femslash at us left, right and centre, the abundance of it is so ridiculous. And there's an obvious pattern to its development, too.
First stop: Butt slapping!
Stella returns to the team after a brief absence, and Shannon is clearly happy to see her. The feeling has to be mutual, because Stella actually slaps Shannon on the butt. Really.
Yep, that's exactly what I do with my friends, just slapping their backsides as a hello. Completely normal and *so* not gay. Almost as un-gay as Shannon's lesbo hat.
Second: Flirting!
Flirting, accompanied by overt eye!shagging; they're so not fooling anyone.
Shannon: Glad you're back, I'm drowning in boy germs.
Stella: I thought I was missing on so much, but obviously not.
Shannon: I'm sworn off sex, by the way.
Stella: What? Why?
Shannon: It got me in so much trouble. I'm over it.
Stella: You'll still come out with me?
Shannon: Not drinking either.
Stella: [playfully] Come watch me pick up then.
Shannon: Maybe one or two.
Yes, all that boy!sex made Shannon celibate. No worries, Stella will soon turn your mojo back on - and I mean she literally does that. With her lips.
Third: Snogging!
As the rumour about Shannon being all no-no about sex spreads, the guys want to know what the story is. To quote Leon: "Have you lost your mojo or what?" Stella has an answer, and a solution, to this burning question, slash, problem.
Stella: [hooking her arm around Shannon] I recon her mojo is just finally on.
Uh-huh, again, this is what I do with my friends all the time. And by "all the time" I mean that one time in Wales when I was really quite staggeringly drunk. So you see, GAY. And Shannon's wicked "Oh" after the smooch fest says it all.
And fourth: Spooning!
Guys, it's totally normal to share body heat when you're out in a middle of a forest without proper camping equipment and you need to spend the night under the stars. It is!
Only, umm, NOT when you're smiling like that, Shannon. Even after you've actually woken up. And damn, if Stella isn't enjoying the situation herself, because she has both of her arms around Shannon, and her fingers are actually WRAPPED AROUND SHANNON'S WRIST.
Thank you, TPTB, thank you. *weeps*
Oh, it's only a matter of time when Stella's able to convince Shannon that the celibacy thing only covers those with the Y chromosome. I will wait, I'm a very patient person, writers. A very patient person!
Speaking of 'teh gay', I do love a view of Emily Prentiss from behind. Mostly because even her backside is so gay that it short-circuits my gaydar. And since we're on the topic of Agent McHotness, a spoiler about the storyline which, most probably, leads to her exit from the show appeared earlier this week:
When A.J. Cook left Criminal Minds, they gave her a very classy send-off. Will they do the same for Paget Brewster or will they just blow her up? - Erin
ADAM: It's still a little early to tell, but you might be right to worry, Erin. I'm hearing that the show is looking to cast a recurring character described as a dangerous, threatening European - the ultimate bad guy. And the character's story line relates specifically to Agent Prentiss. Eek! [Source]
Oh, Sweet Jesus. Fail, fail, fail. Failing so miserably it makes Silvia and Los Hombres de Paco seem like the best plot twist ever! Nevermind the obvious heteronormativity of this, but if Emily gets the boot because of a guy, I'm going to jump out the window.
Blergh. Anyway, let me leave you with Charlie's Angels speaking "Finnish". Using quotation marks, because I had to check the subtitles in order to understand what they were saying. I remember completely missing this when I saw the movie.
Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory did a sligtly better job, I have to say.
First of all, let me just say that Shannon is one tough biatch. And she's handling a sniper like nobody's business, it's fabulous.
Hnnnnh!
Right, just had to get that out of the way.
So, the gay. THE GAY. They're throwing femslash at us left, right and centre, the abundance of it is so ridiculous. And there's an obvious pattern to its development, too.
First stop: Butt slapping!
Stella returns to the team after a brief absence, and Shannon is clearly happy to see her. The feeling has to be mutual, because Stella actually slaps Shannon on the butt. Really.
Yep, that's exactly what I do with my friends, just slapping their backsides as a hello. Completely normal and *so* not gay. Almost as un-gay as Shannon's lesbo hat.
Second: Flirting!
Flirting, accompanied by overt eye!shagging; they're so not fooling anyone.
Shannon: Glad you're back, I'm drowning in boy germs.
Stella: I thought I was missing on so much, but obviously not.
Shannon: I'm sworn off sex, by the way.
Stella: What? Why?
Shannon: It got me in so much trouble. I'm over it.
Stella: You'll still come out with me?
Shannon: Not drinking either.
Stella: [playfully] Come watch me pick up then.
Shannon: Maybe one or two.
Yes, all that boy!sex made Shannon celibate. No worries, Stella will soon turn your mojo back on - and I mean she literally does that. With her lips.
Third: Snogging!
As the rumour about Shannon being all no-no about sex spreads, the guys want to know what the story is. To quote Leon: "Have you lost your mojo or what?" Stella has an answer, and a solution, to this burning question, slash, problem.
Stella: [hooking her arm around Shannon] I recon her mojo is just finally on.
Uh-huh, again, this is what I do with my friends all the time. And by "all the time" I mean that one time in Wales when I was really quite staggeringly drunk. So you see, GAY. And Shannon's wicked "Oh" after the smooch fest says it all.
And fourth: Spooning!
Guys, it's totally normal to share body heat when you're out in a middle of a forest without proper camping equipment and you need to spend the night under the stars. It is!
Only, umm, NOT when you're smiling like that, Shannon. Even after you've actually woken up. And damn, if Stella isn't enjoying the situation herself, because she has both of her arms around Shannon, and her fingers are actually WRAPPED AROUND SHANNON'S WRIST.
Thank you, TPTB, thank you. *weeps*
Oh, it's only a matter of time when Stella's able to convince Shannon that the celibacy thing only covers those with the Y chromosome. I will wait, I'm a very patient person, writers. A very patient person!
Speaking of 'teh gay', I do love a view of Emily Prentiss from behind. Mostly because even her backside is so gay that it short-circuits my gaydar. And since we're on the topic of Agent McHotness, a spoiler about the storyline which, most probably, leads to her exit from the show appeared earlier this week:
When A.J. Cook left Criminal Minds, they gave her a very classy send-off. Will they do the same for Paget Brewster or will they just blow her up? - Erin
ADAM: It's still a little early to tell, but you might be right to worry, Erin. I'm hearing that the show is looking to cast a recurring character described as a dangerous, threatening European - the ultimate bad guy. And the character's story line relates specifically to Agent Prentiss. Eek! [Source]
Oh, Sweet Jesus. Fail, fail, fail. Failing so miserably it makes Silvia and Los Hombres de Paco seem like the best plot twist ever! Nevermind the obvious heteronormativity of this, but if Emily gets the boot because of a guy, I'm going to jump out the window.
Blergh. Anyway, let me leave you with Charlie's Angels speaking "Finnish". Using quotation marks, because I had to check the subtitles in order to understand what they were saying. I remember completely missing this when I saw the movie.
Click to view
Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory did a sligtly better job, I have to say.