Better Off Ted: Veronica scenes of Season 2 - The 'Best of' Edition
It is looking more and more likely by the day that the funniest and the most clever show in years, Better Off Ted, won't be brought back for a third season next autumn. Why aren't people watching this show, why?? It is the most hilarious thing!
But anyway. I refuse to acknowledge the looming cancellation and, instead, concentrate on the fabulousness that is Veronica Palmer. Ted is supposed to be the main character, but Portia de Rossi steals the show by portraying Veronica in such a brilliant way that she deserves an Emmy nod for it. The following list simply needed to be compiled, because no other character has made me laugh (in a good way) this hard in ages.
The Best of Veronica Scenes - Season 2
(in a chronological order, because numbering these would be impossible)
1. What's not to like indeed. // "Love Blurts" (2x01)
[after Ted lies to his 'girlfriend' like there's no tomorrow]
Ted: Once I started lying, there was no going back. Before I knew it, I had made up this whole story about my childhood...growing up on an indian reservation. [...] The thing is, I wanna keep seeing Danielle, I really like her!
Veronica: What's not to like? She's gullible and slept with you on the first date. If her mom's not fat, I'd say throw a ring on it.
2. The downside of working in an office. // "The Lawyer, the Lemur and the Little Listener" (2x02)
Lem: Veronica?
Veronica: Ugh, there are employers everywhere! It's like I'm walking through spider webs.
3. Get onto the good stuff! // "The Lawyer, the Lemur and the Little Listener" (2x02)
Ted: Veronica, I told you. We're not pumping Rose for any more information.
Rose: I don't know anything else anyway. I told you all the new stuff I heard at dinner.
[Veronica's head whips around]
Ted. I-, I couldn't resist! I like saving people, I make no apologies! I'm sorry.
Veronica: [insincerely] Oh, my God. What a hypocrite. I feel like I don't know you. Fake outrage. Moving on! What did you get out of her??
4. Zzzzzz... // "It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal" (2x04)
Linda: [...] So, we need you to talk to Chad and get him to push the deadline.
Veronica: *snoring, her eyes open*
Ted: Veronica!
Veronica: [suddenly awake] What?? What is so damn important?
5. Go for the kill, Rose! // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
[Veronica walks in on Ted playing with Rose]
Veronica: Mess up his hair, it's the source of all his power!
Ted: [playfully] No, not the hair!
Veronica: Now, smash him with the phone! [crickets chirping] Why will nobody in this building ever smash anyone with a phone?!
6. Veronica always has a solution. // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
Veronica: [finds Ted & Linda] Great news! You both have a disease!
Ted: You would be a terrible doctor.
7. Darling, one day you'll understand. // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
[Rose walks in on Ted & Veronica, but, fortunately, doesn't see anything]
Veronica: Hello, Rose. Ted.
Ted: Hello, Veronica. Rose.
Rose: You guys are acting weird.
Veronica: In ten years, honey, you'll look back on this moment and think, "Oooooh!"
8. Live in the moment. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[Veronica is teaching Linda to live in the moment]
Linda: And so the student becomes the master!
[tries to poke Veronica in the eye, but the latter easily catches her fingers in a deadlock]
Linda: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Oooh, I'm in this moment!
Veronica: [...] Now, let's go listen to my CD. [voice lowering] It will blow your mind.
9. Carl Jenkins Gordon Gordon. Jenkins. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[Veronica speaking at the memorial of a dead employee]
Veronica: Carl Jenkins.
Ted: Gordon.
Veronica: Carl Gordon.
Ted: Jenkins.
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins.
Ted: [annoyed] Gordon Jenkins.
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins. [turns to Ted] Are you sure that's right?
10. And a truer image never existed. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[After a successful protest against long working hours]
Veronica: [to Ted] Together, we're like Ghandi. I'm skinny and you're tanned.
11. Hear me, I am your master! // "Change We Can't Believe In" (2x07)
[after a misunderstood loudspeaker message causes the entire building to evacuate]
Veronica: [over the loudspeaker] I am Veronica! Queen of Veridian! [voice changing] The gorilla habitat will be closing in fifteen minutes. [voice changing again] I need a price check on peas. [and yet again] And now it's time for all the young people to come to the dancefloor. [turning to Ted] Hello, Ted.
12. Sometimes even Veronica fails. // "The Impertence of Communicationizing" (2x08)
[trying to scare off a man she's "dating" for guilt]
Veronica: We need to talk about us. And the future, and our babies. And how we'll be committed. [...] I need this relationship to have a future, because I need babies. That's right. Big, screaming babies, shooting out of my uterus. Just stacking up like cordwood. [watching for a reaction]
Walter: Really?
Veronica: Yes, sir. That's all I ever think about. The future, babies and commitment. Future, babies, commitment, future, babies, commitment, commitment, commitment, commitment.
Walter: Woah, slow down! This is happening a little too fast. [Veronica smiling triumphantly] Okay, let's do it!
Veronica: [utterly perplexed] Babies, babies, babies!
Walter: Yes, as many as you want!
Veronica: [with a monotone voice] Oh, my. Look at me. I'm so happy I can't feel my legs.
13. An unfortunate history reference. // "Lust in Translation" (2x10)
[preparing a speech to promote their latest gadget to a group of Germans]
Veronica: We believe the multilanguage translator will create a führer in Germany! A führer that will sweep across Europe, crushing...no.
ABC's YouTube policy is annoying; as in, I can't link to anything, because scenes of the show on YouTube don't exist! Annoyance. Anyway, I swear I'll cry real tears when if the show is canceled, because ahh! Perfection. ♥
But anyway. I refuse to acknowledge the looming cancellation and, instead, concentrate on the fabulousness that is Veronica Palmer. Ted is supposed to be the main character, but Portia de Rossi steals the show by portraying Veronica in such a brilliant way that she deserves an Emmy nod for it. The following list simply needed to be compiled, because no other character has made me laugh (in a good way) this hard in ages.
The Best of Veronica Scenes - Season 2
(in a chronological order, because numbering these would be impossible)
1. What's not to like indeed. // "Love Blurts" (2x01)
[after Ted lies to his 'girlfriend' like there's no tomorrow]
Ted: Once I started lying, there was no going back. Before I knew it, I had made up this whole story about my childhood...growing up on an indian reservation. [...] The thing is, I wanna keep seeing Danielle, I really like her!
Veronica: What's not to like? She's gullible and slept with you on the first date. If her mom's not fat, I'd say throw a ring on it.
2. The downside of working in an office. // "The Lawyer, the Lemur and the Little Listener" (2x02)
Lem: Veronica?
Veronica: Ugh, there are employers everywhere! It's like I'm walking through spider webs.
3. Get onto the good stuff! // "The Lawyer, the Lemur and the Little Listener" (2x02)
Ted: Veronica, I told you. We're not pumping Rose for any more information.
Rose: I don't know anything else anyway. I told you all the new stuff I heard at dinner.
[Veronica's head whips around]
Ted. I-, I couldn't resist! I like saving people, I make no apologies! I'm sorry.
Veronica: [insincerely] Oh, my God. What a hypocrite. I feel like I don't know you. Fake outrage. Moving on! What did you get out of her??
4. Zzzzzz... // "It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal" (2x04)
Linda: [...] So, we need you to talk to Chad and get him to push the deadline.
Veronica: *snoring, her eyes open*
Ted: Veronica!
Veronica: [suddenly awake] What?? What is so damn important?
5. Go for the kill, Rose! // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
[Veronica walks in on Ted playing with Rose]
Veronica: Mess up his hair, it's the source of all his power!
Ted: [playfully] No, not the hair!
Veronica: Now, smash him with the phone! [crickets chirping] Why will nobody in this building ever smash anyone with a phone?!
6. Veronica always has a solution. // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
Veronica: [finds Ted & Linda] Great news! You both have a disease!
Ted: You would be a terrible doctor.
7. Darling, one day you'll understand. // "The Great Repression" (2x05)
[Rose walks in on Ted & Veronica, but, fortunately, doesn't see anything]
Veronica: Hello, Rose. Ted.
Ted: Hello, Veronica. Rose.
Rose: You guys are acting weird.
Veronica: In ten years, honey, you'll look back on this moment and think, "Oooooh!"
8. Live in the moment. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[Veronica is teaching Linda to live in the moment]
Linda: And so the student becomes the master!
[tries to poke Veronica in the eye, but the latter easily catches her fingers in a deadlock]
Linda: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Oooh, I'm in this moment!
Veronica: [...] Now, let's go listen to my CD. [voice lowering] It will blow your mind.
9. Carl Jenkins Gordon Gordon. Jenkins. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[Veronica speaking at the memorial of a dead employee]
Veronica: Carl Jenkins.
Ted: Gordon.
Veronica: Carl Gordon.
Ted: Jenkins.
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins.
Ted: [annoyed] Gordon Jenkins.
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins. [turns to Ted] Are you sure that's right?
10. And a truer image never existed. // "Beating a Dead Workforce" (2x06)
[After a successful protest against long working hours]
Veronica: [to Ted] Together, we're like Ghandi. I'm skinny and you're tanned.
11. Hear me, I am your master! // "Change We Can't Believe In" (2x07)
[after a misunderstood loudspeaker message causes the entire building to evacuate]
Veronica: [over the loudspeaker] I am Veronica! Queen of Veridian! [voice changing] The gorilla habitat will be closing in fifteen minutes. [voice changing again] I need a price check on peas. [and yet again] And now it's time for all the young people to come to the dancefloor. [turning to Ted] Hello, Ted.
12. Sometimes even Veronica fails. // "The Impertence of Communicationizing" (2x08)
[trying to scare off a man she's "dating" for guilt]
Veronica: We need to talk about us. And the future, and our babies. And how we'll be committed. [...] I need this relationship to have a future, because I need babies. That's right. Big, screaming babies, shooting out of my uterus. Just stacking up like cordwood. [watching for a reaction]
Walter: Really?
Veronica: Yes, sir. That's all I ever think about. The future, babies and commitment. Future, babies, commitment, future, babies, commitment, commitment, commitment, commitment.
Walter: Woah, slow down! This is happening a little too fast. [Veronica smiling triumphantly] Okay, let's do it!
Veronica: [utterly perplexed] Babies, babies, babies!
Walter: Yes, as many as you want!
Veronica: [with a monotone voice] Oh, my. Look at me. I'm so happy I can't feel my legs.
13. An unfortunate history reference. // "Lust in Translation" (2x10)
[preparing a speech to promote their latest gadget to a group of Germans]
Veronica: We believe the multilanguage translator will create a führer in Germany! A führer that will sweep across Europe, crushing...no.
ABC's YouTube policy is annoying; as in, I can't link to anything, because scenes of the show on YouTube don't exist! Annoyance. Anyway, I swear I'll cry real tears when if the show is canceled, because ahh! Perfection. ♥