Fic: Things of Beauty
‘James? Really?’
‘What? Of course, really.’
He kept looking down at me in astonishment. ‘That’s perfect. Perfect.’
‘Sparrow, you’re being ridiculous. It’s just a common Christian name.’
In response, his hands cupped my face. His fingers and palms were warm and calloused, sending a thrill through me. ‘Tell me not to, and I won’t,’ he whispered.
I didn’t tell him not to.
Afterwards, I would think of his kiss as having been like the smell of the earth after the first rain of spring: a whisper of love, the softest brush of his lips against mine. At that moment, I could not have formed a coherent thought if the fate of the world had depended on it. It was but for a moment that our parted lips touched, and then he drew back with a near-silent gasp, and I was immeasurably grateful, for that brief caress of his mouth against mine had sent such a tremor of longing through me that my hands were fisted in his shirt, my fingers pressed against his warm bare chest.
‘Ye taste like water,’ he murmured, sounding as breathless as I felt, his hands still framing my face.
‘Water has no taste,’ I protested, saying the first words that came to my mind, my senses utterly under his spell.
‘Have ye ever been so thirsty ye couldn’t stand it, and then ye found the clearest, purest water imaginable? That’s what ye taste like.’
Before I could even begin to think about what he had said, footsteps sounded in the corridor outside. ‘Jack-’ I began, alarmed beyond measure, but he was already out of bed, swiftly pressing a kiss upon my forehead before striding noiselessly to the window and disappearing into the night.
There was a soft knock, and Taylor entered. I could not feign sleep since my heart was still pounding, both with the effect of Jack’s kiss and the brief moment of fear that he would be discovered.
Taylor set his candle down at my bedside table. ‘I was afraid you would be in discomfort, Commodore,’ he said, and I saw that his face was lined with anxiety.
‘I feel better than I have in days, Taylor.’
His sharp eyes glanced at the curtains billowing in the wind, and I was certain he knew that I had not been alone a minute before his arrival.
*****
I wasn’t sure if I could manage the stairs yet, but I needed fresh air, and I needed to smell the sea. So the following morning found me on my sun-warmed balcony, where Taylor had set up an armchair for me, and a small table for my breakfast. After I had finished eating, I settled down in the sun with a book and a second cup of tea.
Taylor took his time over clearing my breakfast things away, and I knew he was hovering because he wanted to say something. Unable to ignore his presence anymore, I reluctantly looked up from my book. ‘What is it?’
‘Sir, I wonder if I may be so bold as to inquire…’
‘Yes?’
‘If I may ask… where did you get that telescope?’
I was not surprised at the question, for I knew it must have been he who had found Jack’s gift on my bed when I had been taken to the hospital. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘I know you received no delivery from England, James.’ He had dropped the ‘sir’ now, as was his wont whenever we entered a serious discussion. Since he had known me since my birth, I could hardly begrudge him the right to address me by my first name, nor even the right to offer me his advice.
‘I see.’
‘I don’t,’ he said evenly. ‘If I may be so bold as to point that out.’
I remained silent, looking down into my cup of tea.
‘I suppose I can also rightly assume that whoever gave it to you is also your night-time visitor,’ he went on.
‘Taylor-’
‘You needn’t fear my intentions, James. All I want is to caution you.’
‘I understand, but I will not be spied upon. Not even by you.’
He nodded, his face composing into a frosty mask. ‘If that will be all, I shall return to my other duties.’ He nodded curtly and left.
I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I’d been holding, and put my cup down on the table. The brief conversation had left several questions buzzing in my head. Had Taylor seen Jack? Would he consider me incapacitated by my fever, and override my authority? Would he report that I had been allowing a known criminal to enter my house?
I didn’t know the answers to the many questions in my head. What I did know was that Jack had entered my life like a rejuvenating breath of fresh air, and I was loath to entertain the thought that we might have to give up what we were only just discovering.
*****
I opened my eyes that night to find him curled up in the chair beside my bed, deep in my Aphra Behn book.
‘Morning,’ he grinned, shutting the volume. ‘It appears we have the same taste in books.’
‘Is it morning already?’ I turned on my side so I was facing him, and held my hand out to him.
He slid out of the chair and on to the bed beside me, slipping his fingers through mine. ‘It’s just gettin’ to be five.’
I squeezed his hand as he bent over me, his dark, heavy locks framing my face like a curtain that blocked out everything but him. ‘Have you been here long?’
‘Nay, not very long,’ he smiled, stroking my hair away from my forehead.
‘You should have woken me,’ I said as he touched my lips lightly with his thumb, his breath warm on my face.
‘I like watching ye sleep, angel,’ he said a moment before his lips met mine. His kiss was unhurried, sweet with the promise of everything yet unexplored, and demanding nothing in return. His mouth moved against mine with barely a hint of pressure, and I closed my eyes as our lips parted against each other’s. Our tongues met slowly, softly, the sensation sweeter than any other I had known, and I knew that I was savouring a rare and precious joy. Without breaking the kiss, he slid his arm beneath me and settled in close beside me, his other hand stroking my hip lightly through my nightshirt.
‘Time for some rum, ye think?’ he whispered as we broke apart.
‘I don’t think I could get any more intoxicated.’ I cupped the back of his neck with my hand and guided his head back down for another kiss, the taste of him more heady than any alcohol that I had ever drunk.
‘Was that a yes or a no?’ he grinned when we pulled apart again.
I laughed. ‘Aye, Captain.’
‘Would you bolt the door?’ I said as he slipped out of bed. He nodded and gave me another quick kiss before doing as I had asked. He pulled out a flask from his pocket before shrugging out of his coat and discarding it on the chair, sitting down beside me again.
I took a sip from the proffered flask and handed it back. He rested one hand on the knee of my good leg as he raised the flask to his lips. ‘How’s the fever?’ he asked, rubbing my knee gently.
‘Much better.’ I hooked an arm around his waist and he slid closer to me, taking my hand again.
‘Ye scared me, James. Ye were away so long, and the rumours I heard just about scared th’ life out of me.’
I watched him as he took another sip of rum. ‘Why, though?’
‘Why what?’
‘Why did the rumours that I was dying scare you? Why are you here at all?’
‘Ye don’t want me here?’
‘I do, Jack. I’m just… puzzled.’
He brushed a strand of hair away from my cheek, winding it around his fingers. ‘Ye seriously want to know?’
‘Of course I do.’
He grinned. ‘Have ye looked in a mirror lately?’
‘Jack, do be serious.’
He leaned closer to kiss the tip of my nose. ‘I am being serious, love. Things of beauty, an’ all that. An’ I don’t just mean your pretty angel-eyes, nor how lovely ye look in that blue coat of yours. It’s somethin’ I saw in ye, right from that firs’ day on the docks, when ye held your sword to my throat. Ye radiate passion, James. Passion for your beliefs, for what ye do, for what ye are. An’ I can’t resist that kind of passion.’
‘Are you talking about me?’ I asked, honestly bewildered.
He smacked his forehead. ‘Aah, no. Forgive me, I had ye confounded with the other Navy Commodore I’m smitten with.’
‘He sounds like quite a fellow,’ I said lightly, trying to ignore the way my heart did a little flip in my chest at his words.
‘Oh, he is.’ Jack settled down comfortably beside me, folding his arms across my chest and resting his chin on them. ‘When he’s there, everyone else in sight seems pale in comparison, an’ not just ’cause he’s bloody beautiful. Even a prisoner in the brig can tell that his men think th’ world of him, an’ would follow him anywhere. That kind o’ man is hard to resist.’
‘He would also have you sent to the gallows,’ I said softly, placing my hand on his head and caressing his hair.
‘Ye were jus’ bein’ a Commodore, James, just as I was bein’ a pirate.’
I caught his forearms and tugged him closer until he was straddling my hips. ‘You know what I do remember most about that night we fought the undead pirates, when I look back on it now?’
He traced my lips with a fingertip. ‘What?’
‘That we fought Barbossa together. That he was the common enemy, despite you and I being on different sides of the law.’
He beamed at me. ‘Thought I’d need to do a lot more work on ye before ye caught on, Commodore.’
*****
To my relief, Taylor did not ask about Jack again. In fact, he seemed a little contrite the following day, and when he brought me my dinner that night, I could have sworn that the portions were large enough for two, as though he were indicating that he was giving his consent to the clandestine visits of my lover.
That night, Jack and I took the telescope out to my balcony. He sat with his back to the railing so that I could lean back against his chest, my bandaged leg stretched out in front of me.
‘All right?’ he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.
‘Perfect,’ I replied, tilting my head back against his shoulder, and the telescope was forgotten for a few minutes as we kissed leisurely.
We spent a good two or three hours just looking at the stars, both with the telescope and without it. Jack pointed out the constellations with a child-like enthusiasm, charming me even further. He even had a few of his own, and traced elaborate imaginary lines between the stars to show me a mermaid here, or a dolphin there. ‘They wouldn’t even look the same if one looked at them from another planet,’ I pointed out just to play devil’s advocate, even as he ran his lips along my throat and drove me to distraction.
‘Rational Navy lad,’ he chuckled, his teeth nipping lightly on my earlobe, the caress immediately drawing our attention to the proximity of our bodies.
‘Jack,’ I groaned softly, my hips pushing back involuntarily against him.
‘Hold on, angel,’ he whispered into my hair. ‘One more first. We mustn’t forget our bella luna, gazing down so sweetly at us.’ The moon was just short of full that night, and we trained the telescope on it… or her, as Jack referred to the moon. ‘Some stories,’ he pointed out, ‘see her as the lover of the sun.’
‘Do they?’ I turned my head to look at him.
‘Mm,’ he said in confirmation, bending his head so our lips could meet. ‘The myth of Mawu,’ he continued when we came up for air, ‘says that she is the moon goddess, an’ that her lover is Lisa, the sun god.’
He guided the telescope back to my eyes, and we held it together as I looked through it, our hands close together. ‘How can they be lovers,’ I murmured, ‘if they can never meet?’
‘Ah, but they do meet,’ he said, tugging my shirt off my shoulder to nuzzle against my bare skin. ‘Whenever there’s an eclipse, that’s when Mawu and Lisa are making love. ’Sides, they’re also a single deity, Mawu-Lisa. So even when they’re apart, they’re jus’ two halves of the same being.’
His hand stretched out in front of the lens, caressing the moon. ‘Almost makes me think I could catch a moonbeam,’ he murmured, his breath warm against my ear.
‘What would you do with it?’ I murmured back, leaning my head against his shoulder.
‘Plait it into your hair,’ he said, kissing my cheek as he slid his fingers through my hair.
‘You’ll have to be very quick. They can be slippery things, moonbeams.’
‘Aye,’ he breathed against my neck. ‘’Tis difficult to hold on to one.’ His hand slipped beneath my shirt and caressed my chest, and my breath caught in my throat at the feel of those feather-light fingertips gliding across my skin.
‘I would never attempt to hold on to one.’ I arched my back and leaned into him as his other hand slipped beneath my shirt as well, his warm, calloused thumb caressing my navel.
‘What if it wanted to stay?’ he murmured, nibbling on the soft skin beneath my ear. ‘What if it wanted to adorn your beautiful self, stay braided in your hair for eternity?’
‘Then I would count myself immeasurably fortunate.’ I turned around and buried my face in his wild, wild hair, breathing in the fragrance of him, the fragrance of the sea, and knew that I would never again be able to distinguish the two from each other.
*****
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‘What? Of course, really.’
He kept looking down at me in astonishment. ‘That’s perfect. Perfect.’
‘Sparrow, you’re being ridiculous. It’s just a common Christian name.’
In response, his hands cupped my face. His fingers and palms were warm and calloused, sending a thrill through me. ‘Tell me not to, and I won’t,’ he whispered.
I didn’t tell him not to.
Afterwards, I would think of his kiss as having been like the smell of the earth after the first rain of spring: a whisper of love, the softest brush of his lips against mine. At that moment, I could not have formed a coherent thought if the fate of the world had depended on it. It was but for a moment that our parted lips touched, and then he drew back with a near-silent gasp, and I was immeasurably grateful, for that brief caress of his mouth against mine had sent such a tremor of longing through me that my hands were fisted in his shirt, my fingers pressed against his warm bare chest.
‘Ye taste like water,’ he murmured, sounding as breathless as I felt, his hands still framing my face.
‘Water has no taste,’ I protested, saying the first words that came to my mind, my senses utterly under his spell.
‘Have ye ever been so thirsty ye couldn’t stand it, and then ye found the clearest, purest water imaginable? That’s what ye taste like.’
Before I could even begin to think about what he had said, footsteps sounded in the corridor outside. ‘Jack-’ I began, alarmed beyond measure, but he was already out of bed, swiftly pressing a kiss upon my forehead before striding noiselessly to the window and disappearing into the night.
There was a soft knock, and Taylor entered. I could not feign sleep since my heart was still pounding, both with the effect of Jack’s kiss and the brief moment of fear that he would be discovered.
Taylor set his candle down at my bedside table. ‘I was afraid you would be in discomfort, Commodore,’ he said, and I saw that his face was lined with anxiety.
‘I feel better than I have in days, Taylor.’
His sharp eyes glanced at the curtains billowing in the wind, and I was certain he knew that I had not been alone a minute before his arrival.
*****
I wasn’t sure if I could manage the stairs yet, but I needed fresh air, and I needed to smell the sea. So the following morning found me on my sun-warmed balcony, where Taylor had set up an armchair for me, and a small table for my breakfast. After I had finished eating, I settled down in the sun with a book and a second cup of tea.
Taylor took his time over clearing my breakfast things away, and I knew he was hovering because he wanted to say something. Unable to ignore his presence anymore, I reluctantly looked up from my book. ‘What is it?’
‘Sir, I wonder if I may be so bold as to inquire…’
‘Yes?’
‘If I may ask… where did you get that telescope?’
I was not surprised at the question, for I knew it must have been he who had found Jack’s gift on my bed when I had been taken to the hospital. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘I know you received no delivery from England, James.’ He had dropped the ‘sir’ now, as was his wont whenever we entered a serious discussion. Since he had known me since my birth, I could hardly begrudge him the right to address me by my first name, nor even the right to offer me his advice.
‘I see.’
‘I don’t,’ he said evenly. ‘If I may be so bold as to point that out.’
I remained silent, looking down into my cup of tea.
‘I suppose I can also rightly assume that whoever gave it to you is also your night-time visitor,’ he went on.
‘Taylor-’
‘You needn’t fear my intentions, James. All I want is to caution you.’
‘I understand, but I will not be spied upon. Not even by you.’
He nodded, his face composing into a frosty mask. ‘If that will be all, I shall return to my other duties.’ He nodded curtly and left.
I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I’d been holding, and put my cup down on the table. The brief conversation had left several questions buzzing in my head. Had Taylor seen Jack? Would he consider me incapacitated by my fever, and override my authority? Would he report that I had been allowing a known criminal to enter my house?
I didn’t know the answers to the many questions in my head. What I did know was that Jack had entered my life like a rejuvenating breath of fresh air, and I was loath to entertain the thought that we might have to give up what we were only just discovering.
*****
I opened my eyes that night to find him curled up in the chair beside my bed, deep in my Aphra Behn book.
‘Morning,’ he grinned, shutting the volume. ‘It appears we have the same taste in books.’
‘Is it morning already?’ I turned on my side so I was facing him, and held my hand out to him.
He slid out of the chair and on to the bed beside me, slipping his fingers through mine. ‘It’s just gettin’ to be five.’
I squeezed his hand as he bent over me, his dark, heavy locks framing my face like a curtain that blocked out everything but him. ‘Have you been here long?’
‘Nay, not very long,’ he smiled, stroking my hair away from my forehead.
‘You should have woken me,’ I said as he touched my lips lightly with his thumb, his breath warm on my face.
‘I like watching ye sleep, angel,’ he said a moment before his lips met mine. His kiss was unhurried, sweet with the promise of everything yet unexplored, and demanding nothing in return. His mouth moved against mine with barely a hint of pressure, and I closed my eyes as our lips parted against each other’s. Our tongues met slowly, softly, the sensation sweeter than any other I had known, and I knew that I was savouring a rare and precious joy. Without breaking the kiss, he slid his arm beneath me and settled in close beside me, his other hand stroking my hip lightly through my nightshirt.
‘Time for some rum, ye think?’ he whispered as we broke apart.
‘I don’t think I could get any more intoxicated.’ I cupped the back of his neck with my hand and guided his head back down for another kiss, the taste of him more heady than any alcohol that I had ever drunk.
‘Was that a yes or a no?’ he grinned when we pulled apart again.
I laughed. ‘Aye, Captain.’
‘Would you bolt the door?’ I said as he slipped out of bed. He nodded and gave me another quick kiss before doing as I had asked. He pulled out a flask from his pocket before shrugging out of his coat and discarding it on the chair, sitting down beside me again.
I took a sip from the proffered flask and handed it back. He rested one hand on the knee of my good leg as he raised the flask to his lips. ‘How’s the fever?’ he asked, rubbing my knee gently.
‘Much better.’ I hooked an arm around his waist and he slid closer to me, taking my hand again.
‘Ye scared me, James. Ye were away so long, and the rumours I heard just about scared th’ life out of me.’
I watched him as he took another sip of rum. ‘Why, though?’
‘Why what?’
‘Why did the rumours that I was dying scare you? Why are you here at all?’
‘Ye don’t want me here?’
‘I do, Jack. I’m just… puzzled.’
He brushed a strand of hair away from my cheek, winding it around his fingers. ‘Ye seriously want to know?’
‘Of course I do.’
He grinned. ‘Have ye looked in a mirror lately?’
‘Jack, do be serious.’
He leaned closer to kiss the tip of my nose. ‘I am being serious, love. Things of beauty, an’ all that. An’ I don’t just mean your pretty angel-eyes, nor how lovely ye look in that blue coat of yours. It’s somethin’ I saw in ye, right from that firs’ day on the docks, when ye held your sword to my throat. Ye radiate passion, James. Passion for your beliefs, for what ye do, for what ye are. An’ I can’t resist that kind of passion.’
‘Are you talking about me?’ I asked, honestly bewildered.
He smacked his forehead. ‘Aah, no. Forgive me, I had ye confounded with the other Navy Commodore I’m smitten with.’
‘He sounds like quite a fellow,’ I said lightly, trying to ignore the way my heart did a little flip in my chest at his words.
‘Oh, he is.’ Jack settled down comfortably beside me, folding his arms across my chest and resting his chin on them. ‘When he’s there, everyone else in sight seems pale in comparison, an’ not just ’cause he’s bloody beautiful. Even a prisoner in the brig can tell that his men think th’ world of him, an’ would follow him anywhere. That kind o’ man is hard to resist.’
‘He would also have you sent to the gallows,’ I said softly, placing my hand on his head and caressing his hair.
‘Ye were jus’ bein’ a Commodore, James, just as I was bein’ a pirate.’
I caught his forearms and tugged him closer until he was straddling my hips. ‘You know what I do remember most about that night we fought the undead pirates, when I look back on it now?’
He traced my lips with a fingertip. ‘What?’
‘That we fought Barbossa together. That he was the common enemy, despite you and I being on different sides of the law.’
He beamed at me. ‘Thought I’d need to do a lot more work on ye before ye caught on, Commodore.’
*****
To my relief, Taylor did not ask about Jack again. In fact, he seemed a little contrite the following day, and when he brought me my dinner that night, I could have sworn that the portions were large enough for two, as though he were indicating that he was giving his consent to the clandestine visits of my lover.
That night, Jack and I took the telescope out to my balcony. He sat with his back to the railing so that I could lean back against his chest, my bandaged leg stretched out in front of me.
‘All right?’ he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.
‘Perfect,’ I replied, tilting my head back against his shoulder, and the telescope was forgotten for a few minutes as we kissed leisurely.
We spent a good two or three hours just looking at the stars, both with the telescope and without it. Jack pointed out the constellations with a child-like enthusiasm, charming me even further. He even had a few of his own, and traced elaborate imaginary lines between the stars to show me a mermaid here, or a dolphin there. ‘They wouldn’t even look the same if one looked at them from another planet,’ I pointed out just to play devil’s advocate, even as he ran his lips along my throat and drove me to distraction.
‘Rational Navy lad,’ he chuckled, his teeth nipping lightly on my earlobe, the caress immediately drawing our attention to the proximity of our bodies.
‘Jack,’ I groaned softly, my hips pushing back involuntarily against him.
‘Hold on, angel,’ he whispered into my hair. ‘One more first. We mustn’t forget our bella luna, gazing down so sweetly at us.’ The moon was just short of full that night, and we trained the telescope on it… or her, as Jack referred to the moon. ‘Some stories,’ he pointed out, ‘see her as the lover of the sun.’
‘Do they?’ I turned my head to look at him.
‘Mm,’ he said in confirmation, bending his head so our lips could meet. ‘The myth of Mawu,’ he continued when we came up for air, ‘says that she is the moon goddess, an’ that her lover is Lisa, the sun god.’
He guided the telescope back to my eyes, and we held it together as I looked through it, our hands close together. ‘How can they be lovers,’ I murmured, ‘if they can never meet?’
‘Ah, but they do meet,’ he said, tugging my shirt off my shoulder to nuzzle against my bare skin. ‘Whenever there’s an eclipse, that’s when Mawu and Lisa are making love. ’Sides, they’re also a single deity, Mawu-Lisa. So even when they’re apart, they’re jus’ two halves of the same being.’
His hand stretched out in front of the lens, caressing the moon. ‘Almost makes me think I could catch a moonbeam,’ he murmured, his breath warm against my ear.
‘What would you do with it?’ I murmured back, leaning my head against his shoulder.
‘Plait it into your hair,’ he said, kissing my cheek as he slid his fingers through my hair.
‘You’ll have to be very quick. They can be slippery things, moonbeams.’
‘Aye,’ he breathed against my neck. ‘’Tis difficult to hold on to one.’ His hand slipped beneath my shirt and caressed my chest, and my breath caught in my throat at the feel of those feather-light fingertips gliding across my skin.
‘I would never attempt to hold on to one.’ I arched my back and leaned into him as his other hand slipped beneath my shirt as well, his warm, calloused thumb caressing my navel.
‘What if it wanted to stay?’ he murmured, nibbling on the soft skin beneath my ear. ‘What if it wanted to adorn your beautiful self, stay braided in your hair for eternity?’
‘Then I would count myself immeasurably fortunate.’ I turned around and buried my face in his wild, wild hair, breathing in the fragrance of him, the fragrance of the sea, and knew that I would never again be able to distinguish the two from each other.
*****
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