Teensybang fic: Tipping the Velvet
Characters/Pairings: Genevieve/Caroline Chikezie, Genevieve/Julie McNiven, Genevieve/Kim Rhodes, Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~9000
Contains: Crossdressing, bondage, sex toys, brief violence, brief non-graphic dubcon (between Gen/OFC)
Summary: When Genevieve meets the glamorous Julie and gets swept into the world of alternative theater, she thinks she’s found everything she wants. She isn’t poor for the first time in her life, and best of all, she’s found the most fulfilling partner she’s ever had. But will it last?
A/N: Written for genteensybang. With many thanks and much love to the wonderful colls for beta-reading, and to the brilliant scarletscarlet for the stunning artwork.
Art Masterpost: LJ | Dreamwidth
It starts with shared glances, as all romances do. At least the ones that Genevieve reads late in the night, after a long day serving at tables. In her books, men and women meet and fall in love and live happily ever after. Not all of the other serving girls can read, and sometimes Genevieve spends an hour or two reading scenes aloud from the books, delighting in blushing faces, the way some of the girls squirm when she reads out the naughty parts.
She doesn’t tell them she has a secret: she longs to dress as a boy. Ever since she can remember, ever since she’s been reading those ridiculous books, she self-inserts into the man’s role when she reads. The sex scenes are appealing to her when they describe, in predictable but arousing phrases, the heaving of a woman’s breasts, the way she gets wet between the legs, the descriptions of a hot mouth licking between her folds. She likes the bits about the penetration too, the way the heroine finds fulfillment with her arms and legs wrapped around a man’s body. In her mind’s eye, she’s looking down at the girl, her sleeves pushed down and her dress pushed up around her waist, her thighs bare and trembling as she comes.
--
Genevieve’s shift starts at six in the evening and ends at midnight. Amid the nightly rush of customers, she’s begun to notice the lady with the daringly short, silky hair who always takes the table in the corner. She’s always surrounded by male admirers, noblemen from the looks of it: men in frock coats with glossy watch chains hanging stylishly out of their breast pockets and neat, clean ruffles at their wrists, silk cravats bound elegantly around their necks.
‘I’m Julie,’ the lady says one evening, grasping Genevieve’s wrist gently as she bends over to fill her glass of wine.
‘Genevieve, ma’am,’ she says, stumbling a little over the word. The woman’s fingers are warm around her wrist, circling loose, as though Gen can break free if she likes. The lady’s wearing a dark red gown tonight that’s nipped in tightly at the waist and boldly low in the front, a single sparkling ruby at her throat. Her arms are encased in elbow-length silk gloves that match her dress. She’s a vision.
‘What a gorgeous name,’ she murmurs. ‘Genevieve.’ She pronounces the name like it’s something exotic, her eyes wandering over Gen’s starched skirt and blouse. ‘Will you join me, my dear? It looks like my companions will be a while.’
‘I’m not certain I’m allowed to, ma’am.’ Gen draws her hand back, but the silk-covered fingers tighten a little.
‘But I insist. Don’t you worry, darling. I’ll ensure you won’t get into any trouble, hmm?’ She pushes an empty glass toward Gen. ‘Why don’t you fill this one up, too?’
Gen does, conscious of the lady’s eyes on her as she half-fills the glass and stands back.
‘Sit.’ Julie gestures to the chair next to her, and Gen sits.
‘Such a pretty young woman you are,’ Julie says appreciatively, her voice warm, wine-rich. ‘Do you know what I do, Genevieve?’
‘I-I’ve heard say you’re a famous actress, ma’am.’
Julie laughs, her fingertips stroking Gen’s bare wrist. ‘I don’t know about famous, my dear, but I do enjoy my time on the stage.’ She reaches into a sequined handbag and pulls out a piece of paper. ‘For you,’ she says. ‘A ticket to my play tomorrow night. Will you come?’
‘I-I’d be honored, ma’am, but I have to work.’
‘Ah, my dear. I’m sure I can work something out with the manager of this fine establishment. Mr Morgan and I are very old friends.’
‘Ma’am, I-’
‘Shush, now,’ Julie says, letting Gen’s hand go with a last caress to her wrist. ‘I won’t take no for an answer.’
--
‘What am I going to do?’ Gen asks, pushing her hands through her hair and grabbing it with her fists. ‘I’ve nothing to wear!’
‘I could ask Caroline for something,’ Alona offers.
‘Caroline?’
‘You’ve seen her at church,’ Alona reminds her. ‘She’s the social worker who got me this job.’
‘Oh yes. Yes. But how can she help?’
‘She’s a seamstress by profession. I’m sure she can find you something suitable.’
‘I’ve no money, Al.’
‘Not a problem,’ Alona says. ‘Let’s just go see her in the morning, yeah?’
‘Yeah, okay,’ Gen says, not very optimistic. That night she dreams of being on a stage, completely undressed, shadowy figures watching her silently.
--
‘It’s a challenge,’ Caroline says, her dark eyes twinkling. ‘But I’ll see what I can do.’
Gen is standing on top of a little stool in Caroline’s workshop, wearing what Alona likes to call her ‘church dress’: a simple dress of white muslin, almost severe in its starkness, with a high collar and close-fitting sleeves that go down to her wrist.
They spend the morning altering Gen’s dress, and come lunchtime, she can hardly recognize the old thing anymore.
‘There,’ Caroline murmurs, smoothing the fabric over Gen’s shoulders. ‘Much more suitable for a night at the theater, don’t you think?’
Gen nods. Caroline’s transformed the dress. There is now soft red velvet over the rough cotton cuffs of the dress. The neck is still high, but accentuated with red sequins that follow the line of Gen’s throat, shimmering in the afternoon sunlight. A wide red ribbon functions as a belt, tied into a long bow at the back, its shiny ends trailing to the floor.
‘Caroline, I-I don’t know how to thank you.’
‘It was entirely my pleasure,’ Caroline says, smiling.
As they’d worked, they’d talked a bit. Caroline had told her about coming over from England as a rich family’s housekeeper a few months ago. She’d grown up under the aegis of a noblewoman who’d treated her as one of her own, teaching her lessons with her own son and daughter. She was accomplished enough in books to be a governess, but there were no teaching jobs available to someone with her skin color. She’s set up a small room in a wing of a house owned by a friend who is also from an immigrant family from Europe. When she isn’t making a living working at her tailoring, she participates in social campaigns. Gen can easily imagine her making an impassioned speech on a stage, appealing for equal rights for everyone.
She says as much, and Caroline laughs. ‘I’m not much of a public speaker, I’m afraid. My friend Jensen usually makes the speeches, but we often write them together. You should come down to the social center sometime and listen to him.’
‘I will,’ Gen promises.
‘Have a wonderful time,’ Caroline says as Gen prepares to leave, her dress folded up neatly and tucked into her bag. ‘Would you like to come to breakfast tomorrow and tell me all about it? I’m making scones.’
‘I’d love to,’ Gen says sincerely. Her heart’s already fluttering at the thought of the evening ahead.
--
Genevieve had expected a lot of things from the performance, but it still steals her breath away. Julie is dressed in a gentleman’s clothing, her shoulder-length hair tied back in a neat queue, a soft felt hat resting on her head and a shiny cane twirling in her hands as she dances with a very tall girl in a white summer dress and pale white stockings. They move gracefully around the stage, singing the story of how a young girl meets the man of her dreams and falls in love, only the man is Julie, wooing the girl with charming smiles and humorous words.
It’s only toward the middle of the performance, when the actor playing the girl’s part finally gets some lines to sing, that Gen realizes with a start that the actor is a boy in girls’ clothing. The kohl around his eyes accentuates the slight slant they have, and his lips are lined in a dark chocolate color. At the end of the last song, Julie gets down on her knees and proposes, and finishes the show with a flourish, bending the boy backwards and kissing his lips lightly.
The audience erupts, getting to their feet and showering the actors with applause. Quite a few flowers are tossed on to the stage at the actors’ feet. They’re both smiling confidently, out of their characters and back as themselves, bowing to the cheering crowd. Julie catches a rose and brings it to her nose, inhaling lightly before she looks right up at the box that Genevieve is in. She throws the rose up in a graceful arc, and Gen fumbles to catch it. Julie inclines her head toward the back, a secret gesture just for Gen, before she leaves the stage.
--
‘Er, Miss McNiven invited me backstage,’ Gen says, fiddling self-consciously with the rose in her hands.
The usher leads her through a corridor packed with stage paraphernalia to a dressing room, knocks smartly on the door and retreats.
‘Come in, come in,’ Julie says, pulling the door open. ‘Did you like the performance, Miss Genevieve?’
‘Yes, ma’am. I liked it very much.’
‘Excellent,’ Julie grins. ‘Think you might help me out of this wretched corset?’
Gen steps forward, setting the rose down carefully on the dressing table. ‘Why do you-’
‘Wear a corset underneath men’s clothes? To make my chest appear flat when I play a man’s part,’ Julie says, her eyes twinkling as she meets Gen’s in the mirror. The smile widens to a wicked grin as Gen blushes furiously. ‘There’s corsets and bandages and all sorts of dreadful things a girl has to put up with,’ she says lightly. ‘All part of the show, you know?’ She unfastens her shirt and lets it slip off her shoulders, leaving them bare. ‘Now, if you please?’
‘Oh. Yes. Of course.’ Gen takes a deep breath and starts undoing the laces at the back of Julie’s tight corset.
‘That’s better,’ Julie says, sitting down at the chair in front of the mirror. There’s linen wrapped over her breasts like a bandage.
‘Isn’t that uncomfortable?’ Gen asks, before she can stop herself.
‘Why, would you like to help me take it off?’ Julie asks, smiling.
‘No, of course not. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any offence.’
‘I didn’t take any,’ Julie says, smiling softly. She picks up a swab of cotton and begins wiping her make-up away. There’s a bit of silence for a while, and Gen is beginning to think she’s been forgotten when Julie turns around in her chair, and reaches forward to take both of Gen’s hands in hers. ‘I usually go out to dinner with the group, but I think I’ll dine in my chambers tonight. Would you do me the honor of joining me?’
--
Julie’s rooms are fit for a queen, Gen thinks dazedly as they sit at a small table with a pretty, frilly white tablecloth and silver cutlery. They’ve finished the main course and there’s fruit on the table, with exotic dark coffee in tiny ceramic cups and two kinds of wine, plus several kinds of cheeses. Beyond the small ante-room, there’s a large bedroom with a fairly large bed, full of fluffy-looking pillows and surrounded by sumptuous curtains.
Julie’s changed into a simple dinner gown, deep red in color and draped softly around her slender figure, clinging to her waist and hips and matching her lustrous hair and the deep red wine in the long-stemmed glass that her fingers are wrapped around.
‘We match,’ she says, touching a fingertip to the red velvet at Gen’s wrist. ‘Are you having a good time?’
‘This is the most wonderful evening of my entire life,’ Gen says honestly.
‘I’m glad,’ Julie murmurs. She wraps her hand around Gen’s and brings it to her lips, pressing them lightly against Gen’s knuckles. ‘You are an enchanting dinner guest, my darling,’ she says against Gen’s skin. She turns Gen’s hand slowly, her lips moving around to the inside of Gen’s wrist, pressing lightly there, inhaling against her skin. ‘Most enchanting.’
‘My lady, I-’
‘Julie. Say my name.’
‘Julie,’ Gen whispers, more a breath than an audible sound, as Julie’s lips move up her arm, pressing tiny kisses through the fabric of Gen’s muslin sleeve, reaching the inside of her elbow and lingering there.
‘Am I too forward?’ Julie asks, nuzzling against Gen’s sensitive skin. She looks up, meeting Gen’s eyes. ‘If so, I apologize. I’m used to taking what I want when I see it. And I want you, so very, very much.’
‘I don’t-I don’t know what to say, my lady. Julie.’
‘Say yes. Say I may kiss you.’
‘Yes,’ Gen says, helpless, wanting. ‘Yes, please, yes.’
Julie leans forward to kiss her deeply. It’s very, very unlike the proprietary stage kiss that she’d given her dance partner. Her tongue parts Gen’s lips easily and delves in like she’s tasting an oyster, licking in deep and sure, moaning against Gen’s mouth as her hands slip down to Gen’s knees and caress upwards, pushing her legs slightly apart, palming her thighs with increasingly greater insistence.
Leaving one hand on Gen’s thigh, she reaches up with the other and begins to pull the pins from Gen’s hair, releasing it from its bun and letting it spill down her back while her mouth moves to Gen’s cheek, open against her jawline, moving lower to the hollow of her throat, her tongue licking there.
‘Come to bed with me,’ Julie says, her face in Gen’s neck. ‘Let me make love to you, my sweet, precious girl.’
‘Whatever you want,’ Gen answers, her mind reeling with sensation, her fingers scrabbling at Julie’s neck, brushing against the ends of her short, silky hair.
‘My beautiful girl,’ Julie says.
--
When she awakens the next morning, it takes Gen a moment to remember where she is. There’s a wide, frilly canopy above her head, and she’s surrounded by white sheets softer than any she’s ever woken up in before. She turns her head on the pillow to see Julie beside her, lying on her stomach, her face turned toward Gen and a sleepy smile on her gorgeous lips.
‘Good morning.’ Julie props herself up on her elbows and leans in for a kiss. It deepens quickly, Julie’s fingers slipping beneath the sheets to stroke Gen slowly, getting her wet before she’s even fully awake. They make love languidly, their fingers slipping inside each other, their mouths never quite leaving each other’s.
‘Harder,’ Julie pants into Gen’s mouth, on all fours above her, pushing down against Gen’s fingers. ‘Fuck me harder, love. Get in there deep, just like that, yes, yes.’ Gen gasps into Julie’s mouth, impossibly aroused both by the rough, erratic movements of Julie’s fingertips circling her clit and the filth streaming from Julie’s mouth between long, wet, urgent kisses.
--
‘Jared-my stage partner-is leaving at the end of this week’s shows,’ Julie says at breakfast, slipping a bit of toast and marmalade into Gen’s mouth, her fingers lingering. ‘I’ve been thinking of making the show a little more enticing. Imagine what the audience would say if I danced with a woman, wooed her and kissed her on the stage. Have you considered a career in theater?’
Three days later, Gen quits her job at the inn and moves into Julie’s rooms. It’s several weeks later, when she’s in front of the mirror removing her make-up, flushed from the night’s successful performance, that she remembers that she never made it to Caroline’s offer of scones for breakfast.
--
‘Must you go?’ Julie says, trailing a finger down Gen’s neck, tracing patterns between her breasts. ‘I’ll miss you terribly, you know.’
‘It’s been months since I saw my family,’ Gen says, squirming as Julie’s mouth replaces her fingers, trailing kisses down her chest and stomach. Julie flicks out her tongue and moves it around Gen’s navel, her saliva glistening on Gen’s skin in the candlelight. ‘I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.’
‘Mm,’ Julie says. ‘I’ll make you stick to your word, you know. If you aren’t back in seven days’-she licks lazily at Gen’s wet cunt-‘I’ll come to your father’s inn and bend you over one of the tables, fuck you right there for everyone to see. Claim you as my own. My very own.’ She rubs her nose against Gen’s clit, her tongue delving deep inside, and Gen has to bite her arm to keep from screaming with pleasure.
--
Richard, their stage manager, makes all the arrangements for Gen’s trip home. She says a hurried goodbye to Julie after lunch, getting into the carriage with two carpet bags full of gifts for her family, taking the train to Boston before getting another carriage for the two-hour journey to the little town at the sea-side where her family has lived for the last two generations, ever since the war.
The sea is home, has always felt like home, but even as she regales her younger sisters with pretty trinkets and tales of the big city, her heart is with Julie, with the stage, with their chambers in which they lose themselves in love-making. She tells her parents about Julie, her generous benefactor, and leaves out the part where she’s hopelessly in love with her.
--
She returns a day early, missing Julie too much to stay longer.
Jared’s in the small office downstairs, bent over some papers, as she enters with her bags. ‘Need some help with those?’ he asks, looking up and smiling.
‘Thank you, no.’ She sits down in one of the chairs, tired from the long journey. ‘I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you might have left the city by now.’
‘Change of plans,’ Jared says, shrugging. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not here to fight you for my old job,’ he says with a grin. He hasn’t been part of the show for weeks, but he attends sometimes, and has been invited over once or twice for Julie’s famous dinner parties. She’d been surprised to find how tall he was when she’d first seen him offstage, dressed in his everyday slacks and sweater vest. Gen’s grown quite fond of him. Unlike some of Julie’s other male guests, he’s a complete gentleman. More than once, she’s thought of confiding in him about her relationship with Julie. Something in his kind eyes and self-deprecating smile tells her he’ll understand.
‘I was just leaving a note for Julie,’ Jared adds, folding up the piece of paper he’s been writing on and putting his pen back into his pocket.
‘Isn’t she home?’ Gen asks, pushing aside a pang of disappointment.
‘I think she has company,’ Jared says, looking a little uncomfortable, and something cold and hard squeezes tight in Gen’s chest.
‘What?’ she says.
‘I-it’s none of my business, really. I didn’t want to intrude,’ Jared says quickly, standing up. He gives her a quick smile. ‘I was just leaving an invitation to a talk on Saturday at the social center. You should come too.’
Gen thanks him for the invitation and sees him out. He kisses her on the cheek as he leaves.
She makes her way upstairs with her heart in her mouth.
Standing outside the door to their shared bedchamber, she knows she shouldn’t go in when she hears the sound of Julie’s familiar laughter from behind the door. She pushes the door open. Julie’s in their bed, straddling Richard’s body, her hair a mess over her face, his hands squeezing her bare breasts.
--
‘It doesn’t have to be like this,’ Julie says, tightening the belt of her robe.
‘Will you give him up?’ Gen asks, her voice thick with tears, pausing in the middle of throwing her clothes into her carpet bag.
‘Darling, do try to understand. It’s business, nothing else. I love you, you know I do. He means nothing. Can’t you see that?’
‘How long?’ Gen asks. ‘How long have you been fucking him?’
‘Ever since he first signed me up. It’s a tough business, you know that. We all need to make compromises.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because I knew you would react like this,’ Julie says, a sad smile lingering on her lips. ‘Stay, Genevieve. For the show, if not for me.’
‘Goodbye, Julie.’ Gen picks up her bag and stumbles out of the room, her vision blinded by tears.
--
‘I wish I could help,’ Alona says, looking stricken. ‘But business hasn’t been terribly good lately, and I don’t think Mr Morgan will give you your job back.’
They’re sitting in a little tea-shop, steam rising from their cups into the crisp afternoon air.
‘It’s all right,’ Gen says quickly, reaching over to squeeze Alona’s hand. ‘I have some money put by, enough to manage for a few weeks. I’m sure I can find another job by then.’
They make their way to a lodging-house run by a Miss Ferris, a social worker. ‘You’re lucky,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘A lodger just left this morning.’
The room’s small but meticulously clean, overlooking the street. ‘I’ll take it,’ Gen says, and pays a week’s rent in advance.
--
Gen doesn’t leave her room for two weeks.
Alona visits frequently, and Miss Ferris looks in every once in a while. The maid comes to clean up once a day, and her meals are sent to her room. She often sends them back untouched, her mind full of Julie, missing her so horribly that she sometimes despairs of never being happy again.
When she realizes she only has enough money to pay for one more week’s food and rent, she goes down to Miss Ferris’s office and asks for her advice about getting a job.
‘Why don’t you visit the social center?’ Miss Ferris says. ‘Caroline’s been trying to set up an employment office especially for women. She might be able to help.’
--
‘I wondered where you’d vanished,’ Caroline says when she sees Gen, looking surprised but pleased. She squeezes Gen’s hand warmly. ‘Did you move away?’
‘I-I was in the theater for a while,’ Gen says. ‘I’ve left now, and I’m looking for a job. My landlady told you might be able to help me. Miss Ferris.’
‘I haven’t officially set up the employment office yet,’ Caroline says. ‘But I’ll definitely what I can do. Are you staying at Samantha’s boarding house?’
Gen nods. ‘To be honest, I’m a little desperate. If I don’t find a job soon, I won’t be able to afford the rent there.’
‘Don’t worry, okay? I’ll do everything I can to help.’ Caroline puts a hand on her arm. ‘I was just leaving for a lecture. Would you like to come?’
--
The lecture is on Marxism. A man with dark blond hair is on stage, and he speaks fervently about workers’ rights. After the talk, Gen turns around when someone calls out her name.
‘Genevieve! I thought that was you.’
‘Jared!’ She throws her arms around him, and Jared laughs with delight and swings her around before setting her down. ‘What’re you doing here?’
‘Jensen’s a friend of mine,’ Jared says, inclining his head in the direction of the scholar who’d given the talk. He’s still on the stage, surrounded by a group of people, all talking animatedly. ‘What are you doing here? I thought I’d never see you again. What happened?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Gen says, unable to meet his eyes. ‘How’s Julie?’
‘Fine, she’s fine. Aren’t you in touch?’ Jared asks in surprise. ‘I thought we might see you at the wedding.’
‘The wedding?’
‘She and Richard are getting married next month,’ Jared says.
‘Oh.’ Gen gives him a quick smile. Her insides feel like ice. ‘No, I don’t think I’ll be there.’
--
Despite her efforts, Caroline still hasn’t managed to find Gen a job and a week has almost passed. She tentatively suggests that Gen talk to Julie about getting her stage job back, but doesn’t mention it again after she sees the stricken look on Gen’s face.
‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘I fell in love with the wrong person,’ Gen says. They’re sitting in Caroline’s workshop, and she’s holding a long length of fabric while Caroline neatly cuts it with a pair of scissors.
‘You can stay with me for a while,’ Caroline offers. ‘I have a spare room.’
‘You’ve been so generous already,’ Gen says. ‘I couldn’t impose.’
‘It wouldn’t be imposing,’ Caroline assures her. ‘I’d be happy to help.’
--
Gen’s on her way back to Miss Ferris’s after leaving Caroline’s office when a horse-drawn carriage pulls up beside her on the street.
‘Hello,’ a woman’s voice says, and Gen peers in to see an elegant-looking woman, perhaps in her late thirties or early forties. ‘Aren’t you the girl from that wonderful stage act I saw last month?’
‘Uh, yes, I suppose. But I don’t act anymore.’
‘I’m Kim. Kim Rhodes,’ the lady says, holding out a gloved hand. ‘Would you like to come back to my house for a cup of tea?’
Gen shakes the proffered hand. “I-I’m not sure what you want with me.’
‘I may have a little proposition for you.’
--
Kim’s house is more a mansion, with a long drive flanked by manicured hedges and a large water fountain in the front. They have tea in the elegant living room. The curtains are draped heavily over the windows, rich and lined with gold brocade.
‘I had the pleasure of dining with Miss McNiven the other night,’ Kim says, leaning forward, her hands clasped together, glittering with rings. ‘She mentioned the unfortunate turn of events that led you to leave the act.’
Gen’s heart jumps. ‘I-I’m sorry?’
‘Come now, my dear. I mean no harm. When I saw you in the street, looking so waif-like, I couldn’t resist stopping. You must be so alone right now.’
‘Miss Rhodes, I really don’t know…’
‘Call me Kim, okay? Let’s not be formal.’
‘Kim,’ Gen says, gathering herself with an effort. ‘I don’t know what you want from me.’
‘Then let me get straight to the point,’ Kim says, her voice businesslike. ‘I’ve been on the lookout for a female companion. I will pay handsomely for the job.’
‘The job?’
‘The job of being my personal companion. For one month, a thousand dollars. To accompany me to social events during the day and to share my bedchambers at night.’
Gen’s breath stops for a moment. ‘Are you… You want to buy my services?’
‘Only if you want to, of course,’ Kim says quickly. ‘I mean no offence, my dear. I just thought you could use a little… sustenance, shall we say? I happen to have the position open, and you look like you could use the money.’
‘A thousand dollars for a month?’
‘Yes. Half paid to you in advance, right now, if you wish. And we can certainly talk about renewing your contract at the end of the month, if the prospect appeals to both of us.’
--
She goes to Caroline’s house after leaving Kim’s place, her purse heavy with the advance payment.
At the door, Caroline pulls her into a quick hug. ‘I was worried. Where were you?’
‘I-I got a job.’
‘But that’s fabulous!’ Caroline kisses her on the cheek, her eyes shining with happiness, and Gen smiles weakly. ‘When do you start?’
‘Tomorrow. It’s… uh, it’s a residential position.’
‘Then we must celebrate tonight,’ Caroline says, squeezing her arm. ‘Jared and Jensen are coming over for dinner.’
--
They cook together. Caroline makes macaroni and cheese, and Gen peels a bowl of potatoes and bakes them, coating them with a little butter and sprinkling them with herbs when they’re done.
‘Best meal I’ve ever had,’ Jared declares after dinner, pushing his plate away and leaning back with a sigh.
Beside him, Jensen laughs and reaches for the dishes. ‘We’ll wash up.’
‘You don’t have to, really,’ Caroline says, but Jensen’s already heading to the kitchen with a stack of plates in his arms.
‘I’ll help,’ Gen offers, but Jensen’s already got his hands in the sudsy water, sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
‘You can dry,’ he grins.
‘I was at your lecture the other day.’ She takes a plate from him and rubs it dry with a dish towel. ‘You were fantastic.’
‘Tell Jared that,’ Jensen says with a laugh. ‘He couldn’t stop poking holes in my speech all night. But thank you. I’m glad you could come.’
Jared pokes his head into the kitchen. ‘Did I hear my name? You need my help, darlin’?’
‘No.’ Jensen flicks a soap sud at him. ‘But call me that again and I’ll kick that pretty ass of yours.’
Jared laughs out loud, pressing a kiss into the side of Jensen’s head. ‘You love it.’
Gen shares a smile with Caroline, who’s come in behind Jared. ‘I know,’ Caroline says. ‘Sickening, aren’t they?’
That night, curled up on the bed in Caroline’s spare room, Gen thinks of Jensen and Jared together, the easy way they’d shared affection in front of her and Caroline. Something about Caroline’s small house, filled with banter and warmth, welcomes her like nothing else, not even her parents’ home. It’s a place where people can feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment, and not for the first time, she feels a pang of regret that she can’t stay.
--
Kim greets Gen at her house the next afternoon. She’s wearing tight riding breeches and carrying a riding crop.
‘Have you been riding?’ Gen asks politely, more to make conversation than out of any real curiosity.
‘Not yet.’ Kim grins, beckoning Gen upstairs.
‘This is our bedchamber.’ She leads Gen into a huge room dominated by a king-sized bed. Wispy gold curtains flutter at the windows, and each corner of the room displays statues of nude women. ‘Like it?’
‘It’s… it’s lovely.’
‘Good. Now get out of that silly dress and put on the outfit I’ve laid out for you. Our guests will be here soon.’
--
‘Ravishing, my dear,’ Kim says when Gen comes down the stairs. ‘Just ravishing.’ She takes Gen’s hand and kisses the side of her neck. Gen’s wearing a tight, rust-colored bodice that leaves her neck and shoulders bare, and a pair of shiny black trousers. She’s only worn trousers on stage before, during the times that she and Julie had exchanged roles, Gen as the gentleman and Julie as the woman.
‘Do you like your outfit?’ Kim slides a hand between Gen’s legs and squeezes. ‘I have something that goes here, but that can wait until we’re alone tonight.’
The doorbell rings, but Kim doesn’t remove her hand. A fingertip rubs at the silky crotch of the trousers, and Gen bites back a moan, pushing forward involuntarily into Kim’s hand.
‘Slut,’ Kim says with a laugh, pulling away.
There are around twenty guests in all, mostly women. Dinner is not a formal affair, with people helping themselves from the large buffet-style table and engaging in conversation throughout, sitting on the sofas or out on the terrace-style balcony that looks on to the huge garden. Kim doesn’t leave Gen for most of the evening, introducing her to many of the guests, all of them noblewomen from old, wealthy families, as far as Gen can tell. Kim keeps up a continual commentary, whispering scandalous tales about the guests into Gen’s ear.
‘That one,’ she murmurs, lifting her wine glass in the direction of a tall, striking woman with blond curls piled high on her head. ‘She’s separated from her husband because he caught her in bed with her maid. And them’-she gestures toward a petite, raven-haired woman with pale skin and lips painted a dramatic red, who’s been leading another woman around with a leash around her neck-‘that’s Lady Margaret and her girl Penelope. Penelope has a respectable job as a governess. Can you imagine what the family would say if they could see her like this, crawling around on all fours?’
‘She seems to like it,’ Gen says, watching the girl, who is now kneeling on the floor beside Lady Margaret, gracefully accepting tidbits from the lady’s fingers.
‘That’s why they’re here,’ Kim says with a smile. ‘Because they can act out their desires, and no one will judge them.’ She leans forward to kiss Gen lightly. ‘You think you might like that? Hmm? Wearing a collar and a leash, submitting to my whims?’
‘I-I’m not sure, my lady.’
‘Call me Mistress,’ Kim murmurs. ‘Just for tonight. Won’t you?’ She puts her hand on top of Gen’s head and pushes down, and Gen slides to her knees as Kim pulls up her thin skirt.
‘Here?’ Gen whispers, half-aroused, half-mortified. Everyone can see them.
‘Here,’ Kim says, fisting her hand in Gen’s hair and pushing Gen’s face between her legs.
--
It hadn’t been so bad, Gen tells herself as she waits in the bedroom for Kim to come upstairs. In a way, it had been unimaginably exciting; she’d never seen other people have sex, let alone so freely and decadently.
‘Did you have a good time?’ Kim asks from the doorway, and Gen sucks in her breath. Kim’s leaning against the doorframe in nothing but her sheer black stockings and garters, her ever-present glass of wine in one hand.
Without waiting for Gen to answer, she comes in and sits on the bed. ‘Open the top drawer beside you.’
Gen does as asked, reaching for the night table beside the bed. Inside the top drawer is a large box made of polished wood.
‘Open it.’
Inside the box, resting on black silk, is a large wooden phallus, complete with a set of testicles. It’s attached to a long black strap.
‘Put it on.’
‘I-what?’
‘The strap goes around your waist, darling.’ Kim laughs, setting down the wine glass and reaching for the buttons on Gen’s trousers. She opens the trousers all the way but leaves them on. ‘Here, let me show you.’ She straps the belt around Gen’s waist and then slides a hand down the shining wood with a soft moan. ‘Give me your hands.’
Kim holds Gen’s wrists together in front of her. ‘Ever been tied up? Gagged?’
Gen shakes her head.
‘Would you like to try?’ Kim licks up Gen’s neck, leaving a trailing of saliva on her skin.
‘Yes, Mistress.’ Her blood is pounding in her veins.
Kim chuckles against her ear. ‘Good girl.’
Gen spends the next hour bound securely to a chair, her phallus sticking out obscenely from between her legs, with Kim straddling her and fucking herself, smothering Gen’s face with her breasts. The smooth, polished wood of the dildo rubs against Gen’s wet clit with deliciously unforgiving friction, and she screams out her pleasure into her gag multiple times before the night is through.
--
‘You like this?’ Kim asks the following afternoon, thrusting into Gen. She’s wearing the dildo this time. Gen is bound on the bed, on her back, arms and legs stretched wide.
‘Yes, Ma’am,’ Gen gasps. She doesn’t really like it all that much, but Kim’s lubricated her with generous amounts of oil and it doesn’t hurt.
She’d been given a late breakfast in bed and a huge tub of steaming water to bathe in, and her body is relaxed and pliant, Kim molding her into the perfect pet, as she likes to call her. It could be worse.
‘I think I’ll fuck your gorgeous ass next,’ Kim says, thrusting harder, and Gen moans just the way Kim’s taught her to.
--
A fortnight later, Caroline comes to visit.
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she says a little nervously, her eyes large and a little anxious. ‘I didn’t get a response to my letter, so I thought I’d come and see you.’
‘I don’t mind at all.’ Gen throws her arms around Caroline and hugs her close, smelling the scent of Caroline’s soap and the clean, warm fragrance of the starch she uses on her cotton dresses.
When she releases Caroline from the embrace, she sees Kim standing in the doorway, a wisp of smoke curling up from the long cigarette holder in her fingers, her lips twisted sardonically.
‘Friend of yours?’ she asks, taking another drag of her cigarette.
‘Kim, this is Caroline. Caroline, my employer, Kim Rhodes.’
‘I’m pleased to meet you, ma’am.’ Caroline holds out her hand, and Kim shakes it firmly.
‘I’ll leave you to chat,’ Kim says, cupping Gen’s cheek and running a thumb over her lips. ‘Don’t be too long, now.’
The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed, and Caroline doesn’t quite meet Gen’s eyes as they sit together on the sofa. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.’
‘It’s fine,’ Gen says quickly. ‘I’m glad to see you.’
‘Is she-are you all right?’ Caroline’s eyes are on the thin red lines around Gen’s wrists, left behind from the ropes Kim had used on her the previous night.
‘I’m fine,’ Gen says, squeezing Caroline’s hand. ‘Honest, I am. It’s not what it looks like. She’s-she’s good to me.’
‘She’s paying you to let her do these things to you.’ Caroline voice is low, almost hurt.
‘She’s not hurting me, Caroline.’
‘You-you like this life?’
Gen shrugs. ‘I don’t dislike it. After Julie, I-I don’t know. It’s not so bad, you know?’
‘I won’t pretend to understand.’ Caroline’s not smiling, but they change the subject. Over tea and biscuits, she tells Gen about what’s been happening at the social center.
‘Jared’s been staying with me the last few days,’ she says. ‘He had a fight with Jensen.’
‘What? Why?’
‘There was an anonymous letter delivered to the center last week. A threat to Jensen’s life. His last lecture seems to have brought some anti-abolitionists out of the woodwork. Jared doesn’t want him to give public lectures for a while, and Jensen won’t listen.’
‘So Jared left him?’
Caroline gives her a small smile. ‘Not for good, I think. They’re too close for that, if you ask me. I have a spare room, and I don’t mind. It’s nice to have someone else around the house.’
‘I can’t believe there are still anti-abolitionist groups that are active, even after the war.’
‘Sometimes it feels like it’ll be a long time before the battles are over,’ Caroline says.
Gen reaches forward to hug her. ‘I miss you,’ she says, surprising herself by how much she means it.
‘I miss you too.’ Caroline pulls away. She doesn’t visit again.
--
On the last night before Gen’s contract is up, Kim throws another of her frequent parties. She’s hinted more than once that she’ll renew the contract for another six months, since Gen’s performance so far has apparently been pleasing.
That night, Gen is on her hands and knees, wearing very little, a collar around her neck. Kim and Lady Margaret play with Gen and Penelope, making them kneel in front of each other and kiss before Penelope’s face is shoved between Kim’s legs and Margaret fucks Gen from behind. She doesn’t use nearly as much lubrication as Kim usually does and it’s painful. By the end of it, Gen’s face is pressed against the floor, tears trickling down her cheeks as she tries to bites back her cries.
‘I didn’t ask for that,’ she tells Kim later that night, when the guests have gone and she’s been allowed to dress.
Kim arches a perfect eyebrow. ‘You didn’t enjoy it?’
‘No,’ Gen says. ‘I-I like it with you, but I didn’t think you’d let anyone else use me.’
‘It’s in your contract, in case you didn’t notice.’
‘I-I know. It’s just that you’ve never enforced it, and I thought-’
‘Genevieve,’ Kim says patiently, brushing a strand of hair away from Gen’s face. ‘This isn’t a relationship. You remember that, don’t you? You’re to do as required. If you can’t, I’ll find someone else who can.’
‘Was tonight a test? To see how far I’ll go?’
Kim shrugs. ‘Think of it that way, if you like. And you haven’t failed, Genevieve. I’m perfectly willing to extend your contract, if you agree to abide by the terms.’
‘Will you pay me my remaining five hundred if I leave?’
‘Yes,’ Kim says shortly, getting up to pour herself a drink.
‘Then I would like to be paid, please.’
Kim takes a sip of whiskey. ‘And I suppose you want to leave?’
Gen nods.
Kim sighs, putting her hand on top of Gen’s head. ‘You’re sure? It’s not an easy world to live in, darling.’
Gen looks up at her. ‘I’m sure.’
They sleep in separate beds that night, and the next morning, Gen packs her carpet bag and sets off for Miss Ferris’s.
--
‘What did you say to Caroline?’ Samantha Ferris asks, looking at Gen over the rim of her teacup. ‘She looked quite upset when she got back from visiting you.’
‘She did?’ Gen’s hands tighten around her cup. ‘I didn’t-I didn’t mean to cause her any distress.’
‘It’s been bad for her, what with the threats to the group and all that,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘Yesterday, someone painted slurs on the doors and windows of her workshop. Nasty things.’
‘Fuck,’ Gen says before she can stop herself. Miss Ferris raises her eyebrows. ‘Sorry,’ Gen says quickly. ‘But-is she okay?’
‘As well as can be expected. She’s a strong girl. She’ll get through this.’
‘I need to see her.’ Gen gulps down the rest of her tea and stands. ‘Do you mind if I leave my bag downstairs? I can pay you my rent in advance if you like.’
‘Keep your money,’ Miss Ferris says, squeezing her hand. ‘Go see your friend first.’
--
When Gen reaches the building where Caroline’s workshop is, she finds Jared outside, scrubbing at a window with a rag that smells of turpentine.
‘Gen!’ He smiles broadly at her. ‘I’d hug you, but my hands are filthy.’
‘That’s okay,’ she says with a grin. ‘It’s so good to see you, Jared.’
‘You too,’ Jared says warmly, rubbing his hands on his trousers. ‘I didn’t think we’d see you in these parts again.’
Gen shrugs. ‘I missed everyone, you know? How’s Jensen?’
‘Haven’t seen him,’ Jared says airily, waving a dismissive hand, but he looks away. ‘You want to see Caroline? She’s at the lecture hall. There’s a talk this afternoon.’
‘By Jensen?’
‘Yeah,’ Jared says, still looking at his feet, and Gen squeezes his arm.
Jared looks up. ‘It’s okay. You want to go with me? I’m done here.’
‘I heard about what happened yesterday.’ Gen looks at the windows. Jared’s done a pretty good job of scrubbing the paint away.
‘Bastards,’ Jared says, slinging an arm around her shoulders. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
--
The lecture hall is already buzzing with activity, people standing on chairs and putting up banners, some gathered at tables, talking loudly. Caroline is in front of the stage with Jensen, their heads bent over a sheaf of papers.
‘I wouldn’t bother them now,’ Jared says. ‘Come on, let’s find some chairs. The hall gets filled up pretty quick.’
He looks toward the end of the hall, but Gen grabs his hand and leads him to one of the rows in the middle. ‘You don’t have to talk to him,’ she says, squeezing his hand.
‘I should be up there, you know? Helping him.’ Jared looks down at his hands. ‘I’m such an idiot.’
‘You love him,’ Gen says. ‘People do stupid things when they’re in love.’
He gives her a brief, self-effacing laugh. ‘Don’t I know it. He won’t even look at me.’
Before Gen can answer, a deafening crack sounds through the room, and the acrid smell of gunpowder fills her nostrils.
At the stage, Jensen crumples to the floor, a scarlet stain blooming on the front of his white shirt. Someone behind Gen starts to scream.
--
Three hours later, Gen is sitting in the waiting room at the clinic. There’s a huge crowd of people outside, carrying placards with slogans but otherwise subdued and quiet.
Caroline is sitting next to her, elbows on her knees and her face buried in her hands. ‘I knew this would happen one day,’ she says, her voice muffled. ‘I shouldn’t have agreed to let him do this.’
Gen hesitates a little, but then puts a hand on Caroline’s back, and rubs gently. ‘You can’t blame yourself.’
Caroline drops her hands into her lap, sitting back with a small sigh. ‘Yeah, I know.’ She glances at Gen. ‘How’re you doing?’
‘I’m okay,’ Gen says. ‘I just wish the doctors would tell us something. It’s been hours.’
It’s another hour before Jared comes out into the corridor where they’re waiting. ‘He’s okay,’ he says, sinking into an empty chair. He looks distraught, his face pale and his hair wild, his sweater-vest stained with blood. ‘He’ll be okay.’
He’s shaking. Caroline puts her arms around him, her face wet with tears of relief.
--
‘Alex seems to have acted alone,’ Caroline says the next morning. They’d spent the night on empty beds at the hospital, along with several other members of the group. Alex Bentley, the man who’d shot Jensen, had been a member of the group. He’d been grabbed before he could attempt to flee from the hall, and is now in police custody.
Caroline rubs a weary hand over her face. ‘I still can’t believe he would do this.’
‘Always knew there was something off about him,’ Samantha Ferris says. She looks as worn and exhausted as the rest of them. ‘I just hope you’re right, and there was no one else involved.’
‘The writing on the anonymous letter matches his,’ Caroline says. ‘But I don’t think we can rule out the possibility that he was sent by an anti-abolitionist group.’
‘He’s not talking?’ Gen asks.
Caroline shakes her head. ‘Not yet.’
‘Why don’t you girls go home and get some rest?’ Samantha says, putting a hand on Gen’s shoulder.
‘We’ll be back soon. Send us word if you need anything,’ Caroline says, getting to her feet. ‘You coming?’ she asks, and Gen follows her out.
--
They walk silently back to Caroline’s house, snow crunching under their boots. Gen thinks of Jared’s terrified face, thinks of how Caroline’s world would have crumbled if Bentley had succeeded in his mission. She moves a little closer to Caroline, linking their fingers together.
‘Thanks,’ Caroline says softly, squeezing her fingers. ‘You’ve been great.’
‘I didn’t do anything.’
‘You were there.’
They don’t say anything else until they’re inside the house. After they wash up, Gen makes soup and they sit at the kitchen table, both too tired to really eat.
‘We were just going over his speech together,’ Caroline says, and Gen looks up to see tears trickling from her eyes. ‘And then there was that awful sound and he… I thought he was dead.’
Gen gets up and circles her arms around Caroline. ‘It’s all right,’ she says, stroking Caroline’s short curls, holding her close and letting her cry. ‘Everything’s all right.’
--
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken down like that. It was silly,’ Caroline says a few hours later. They’re still in Caroline’s bed, where they’d both collapsed from exhaustion.
Gen reaches over to touch her face. ‘It wasn’t. You had a terrible shock, and you almost lost one of your best friends.’
Caroline smiles a little. ‘Do you always know the right thing to say?’
Gen flushes and tries to move her hand back, but Caroline grabs it and squeezes it. ‘Thank you. Really.’ She lets go of Gen’s hand. ‘You ready to go back to the hospital?’ Gen nods and watches her get out of bed, unable to help feeling that she’s just missed an opportune moment.
--
They go back to the hospital with some food for Jared. He’s asleep in a chair beside Jensen’s bed, and Jensen puts a finger to his lips when they walk in. ‘I thought he’d never sleep,’ he says softly. He’s sitting up, his back against the pillows, bandages wrapped around his chest.
‘Are you sure you should be sitting up?’ Caroline asks dubiously.
Jensen smiles tiredly. ‘I’m okay. Been sleeping all morning.’ He looks over at Jared. ‘Him, not so much. I think he thought I’d stop breathing if he closed his eyes.’
‘It was awful for us. It must’ve been terrifying for him,’ Caroline says.
‘I know,’ Jensen says, looking a little guilty. ‘Kid looks terrible.’
Caroline hands Jensen a bowl of soup. ‘I know you hate soup, but the doctors say you have to be on liquids for a couple of days.’
‘I’ll live,’ Jensen says, making a face. He lifts a spoonful of soup to his mouth and takes a sip. ‘This is great, thanks.’
He can’t manage more than a few sips of the soup, and Gen takes the bowl from him and puts it on the table beside his bed, covering it up with a plate. ‘I’m glad you’re okay,’ she says.
He smiles up at her. ‘I’m glad you’re back.’ He glances at Caroline. ‘Caroline missed you,’ he says with a grin.
‘Shut up,’ Caroline mutters, looking at her feet, and Jensen laughs.
--
They’re both in good spirits when they get back to Caroline’s place.
‘He must be in pain, but he won’t show it,’ Caroline says with a sigh, but she doesn’t look wrecked anymore. ‘I think he must be the bravest person I know.’
‘You’re both brave,’ Gen says, sitting down across the table from her. ‘The work you do… it’s incredible.’
‘Is that why you left us?’ Caroline says with a sardonic smile, and Gen’s thrown by her words.
‘I didn’t-I always meant to come back.’
‘Would you have? If Jensen hadn’t been shot, would you be here now?’
‘I-I don’t know. But I would have wanted to see you eventually.’
‘Once you got tired of your rich friends?’
‘They weren’t my friends. I was… I was being paid. You know that.’
‘I told you you could stay with me. We’d have found you work. You didn’t have to… to do that.’
Gen looks down at her hands. ‘I… I didn’t want to be a burden.’
‘That’s a load of crap.’
Gen looks up. ‘What do you want me to say? That I’m proud of what I’ve done? I’m not.’
Caroline doesn’t answer, her lips pressed into a thin line. ‘Why are you bringing this up?’ Gen asks. ‘I thought we…’
‘Had a moment?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I was tired, and I was hurting. You were there. It doesn’t mean anything.’ Caroline looks away.
‘Do you want me to leave?’ Gen asks quietly.
Caroline closes her eyes for a moment. ‘No,’ she says finally. ‘But you… you need to give me time. I’m not sure I can think straight right now.’
‘I know,’ Gen says quickly. ‘If you let me stay, I’ll-I’ll make myself useful. Clean your rooms, cook, anything. Please, just give me a chance.’
Caroline gives her a small smile. ‘We’ll talk about it later, okay? I need to get back to the office for a while. With Jensen gone, it must be in chaos.’
--
Gen goes back to the boarding house to find Miss Ferris on her way out. ‘I thought you’d be at Caroline’s,’ she says in surprise.
‘I’d like to take a room here, if that’s okay.’
‘Sure,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘You know you’re welcome anytime. There are a couple of rooms free. Take whichever you like. Alona will help you.’
The next day, Gen spends two hours waiting at Caroline’s doorstep. She’s contemplating going back to the boarding house when a long shadow falls across her.
‘Hey,’ Jared says. ‘What’re you doing out here? Carol won’t be back for ages.’ He still looks tired, and there’s a thick sheaf of papers under his arm.
‘How’s Jensen?’ Gen gets to her feet, taking the papers from him so he can unlock the door.
‘Complaining about the soup and insisting on working,’ Jared says, shaking his head. ‘He threw me out, said I wasn’t to come back until I got a good night’s sleep.’
Gen smiles. ‘Sounds like he’s getting better.’
‘Come on in,’ he says, allowing her to go in first.
‘I’m not sure I should,’ Gen says, nervous. ‘When Caroline gets back…’
‘Did you two have a fight or something?’ Jared asks in surprise.
‘Not exactly, but…’
‘Well, then come in. I’m sure she won’t mind.’
--
By the time she hears Caroline’s key in the lock, Gen has dinner cooking in the oven.
Please, she thinks, crossing her fingers behind her back. Please.
‘Jared, are you cooking?’ Caroline’s voice is high with surprise as she pushes open the kitchen door and enters. She stops dead when she sees Gen.
‘Jared let me in,’ Gen says quickly. ‘He’s gone back to the hospital.’
Caroline smiles. ‘Jensen won’t be happy.’
‘Would you like some tea?’ Gen says, pouring out a cup before Caroline can answer.
Caroline accepts the tea and sits down at the scrubbed wooden table, taking a sip. ‘I’m sorry,’ she offers quietly. ‘I was a little hard on you earlier. I apologize, Genevieve.’
Something loosens inside Gen’s chest. ‘I would’ve done the same,’ she says. ‘I-I know I hurt you, Caroline. I just-’
‘Don’t,’ Caroline says, holding up a hand. ‘Just, don’t, okay? Not right now.’
‘Okay.’ Gen glances up at Caroline. ‘I’m sorry. I know you’re tired. I’ll-I’ll see you later.’
Caroline grasps her wrist. ‘You don’t have to leave. Just… just sit down and drink your tea. Please.’
Gen ducks her head and smiles. ‘Okay.’
--
They eat dinner in companionable silence. It’s just potatoes baked with cheese, but Caroline seems to relish every bite, smiling up at Gen from time to time and pouring them both a glass of warm mulled wine when they finish eating. They sit on the sofa and watch the fire crackling for a while.
‘What are we celebrating?’ Gen asks after a few minutes, taking a sip of wine.
Caroline shrugs. ‘Lots of things. Jensen’s okay. It’s snowing. No one’s tried to kill anyone today.’ She leans forward to clink her glass against Gen’s. ‘You’re here.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Gen says. ‘Not again.’
‘We’ll see,’ Caroline says, but she’s smiling a little.
~end
Thanks for reading!
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~9000
Contains: Crossdressing, bondage, sex toys, brief violence, brief non-graphic dubcon (between Gen/OFC)
Summary: When Genevieve meets the glamorous Julie and gets swept into the world of alternative theater, she thinks she’s found everything she wants. She isn’t poor for the first time in her life, and best of all, she’s found the most fulfilling partner she’s ever had. But will it last?
A/N: Written for genteensybang. With many thanks and much love to the wonderful colls for beta-reading, and to the brilliant scarletscarlet for the stunning artwork.
Art Masterpost: LJ | Dreamwidth
It starts with shared glances, as all romances do. At least the ones that Genevieve reads late in the night, after a long day serving at tables. In her books, men and women meet and fall in love and live happily ever after. Not all of the other serving girls can read, and sometimes Genevieve spends an hour or two reading scenes aloud from the books, delighting in blushing faces, the way some of the girls squirm when she reads out the naughty parts.
She doesn’t tell them she has a secret: she longs to dress as a boy. Ever since she can remember, ever since she’s been reading those ridiculous books, she self-inserts into the man’s role when she reads. The sex scenes are appealing to her when they describe, in predictable but arousing phrases, the heaving of a woman’s breasts, the way she gets wet between the legs, the descriptions of a hot mouth licking between her folds. She likes the bits about the penetration too, the way the heroine finds fulfillment with her arms and legs wrapped around a man’s body. In her mind’s eye, she’s looking down at the girl, her sleeves pushed down and her dress pushed up around her waist, her thighs bare and trembling as she comes.
--
Genevieve’s shift starts at six in the evening and ends at midnight. Amid the nightly rush of customers, she’s begun to notice the lady with the daringly short, silky hair who always takes the table in the corner. She’s always surrounded by male admirers, noblemen from the looks of it: men in frock coats with glossy watch chains hanging stylishly out of their breast pockets and neat, clean ruffles at their wrists, silk cravats bound elegantly around their necks.
‘I’m Julie,’ the lady says one evening, grasping Genevieve’s wrist gently as she bends over to fill her glass of wine.
‘Genevieve, ma’am,’ she says, stumbling a little over the word. The woman’s fingers are warm around her wrist, circling loose, as though Gen can break free if she likes. The lady’s wearing a dark red gown tonight that’s nipped in tightly at the waist and boldly low in the front, a single sparkling ruby at her throat. Her arms are encased in elbow-length silk gloves that match her dress. She’s a vision.
‘What a gorgeous name,’ she murmurs. ‘Genevieve.’ She pronounces the name like it’s something exotic, her eyes wandering over Gen’s starched skirt and blouse. ‘Will you join me, my dear? It looks like my companions will be a while.’
‘I’m not certain I’m allowed to, ma’am.’ Gen draws her hand back, but the silk-covered fingers tighten a little.
‘But I insist. Don’t you worry, darling. I’ll ensure you won’t get into any trouble, hmm?’ She pushes an empty glass toward Gen. ‘Why don’t you fill this one up, too?’
Gen does, conscious of the lady’s eyes on her as she half-fills the glass and stands back.
‘Sit.’ Julie gestures to the chair next to her, and Gen sits.
‘Such a pretty young woman you are,’ Julie says appreciatively, her voice warm, wine-rich. ‘Do you know what I do, Genevieve?’
‘I-I’ve heard say you’re a famous actress, ma’am.’
Julie laughs, her fingertips stroking Gen’s bare wrist. ‘I don’t know about famous, my dear, but I do enjoy my time on the stage.’ She reaches into a sequined handbag and pulls out a piece of paper. ‘For you,’ she says. ‘A ticket to my play tomorrow night. Will you come?’
‘I-I’d be honored, ma’am, but I have to work.’
‘Ah, my dear. I’m sure I can work something out with the manager of this fine establishment. Mr Morgan and I are very old friends.’
‘Ma’am, I-’
‘Shush, now,’ Julie says, letting Gen’s hand go with a last caress to her wrist. ‘I won’t take no for an answer.’
--
‘What am I going to do?’ Gen asks, pushing her hands through her hair and grabbing it with her fists. ‘I’ve nothing to wear!’
‘I could ask Caroline for something,’ Alona offers.
‘Caroline?’
‘You’ve seen her at church,’ Alona reminds her. ‘She’s the social worker who got me this job.’
‘Oh yes. Yes. But how can she help?’
‘She’s a seamstress by profession. I’m sure she can find you something suitable.’
‘I’ve no money, Al.’
‘Not a problem,’ Alona says. ‘Let’s just go see her in the morning, yeah?’
‘Yeah, okay,’ Gen says, not very optimistic. That night she dreams of being on a stage, completely undressed, shadowy figures watching her silently.
--
‘It’s a challenge,’ Caroline says, her dark eyes twinkling. ‘But I’ll see what I can do.’
Gen is standing on top of a little stool in Caroline’s workshop, wearing what Alona likes to call her ‘church dress’: a simple dress of white muslin, almost severe in its starkness, with a high collar and close-fitting sleeves that go down to her wrist.
They spend the morning altering Gen’s dress, and come lunchtime, she can hardly recognize the old thing anymore.
‘There,’ Caroline murmurs, smoothing the fabric over Gen’s shoulders. ‘Much more suitable for a night at the theater, don’t you think?’
Gen nods. Caroline’s transformed the dress. There is now soft red velvet over the rough cotton cuffs of the dress. The neck is still high, but accentuated with red sequins that follow the line of Gen’s throat, shimmering in the afternoon sunlight. A wide red ribbon functions as a belt, tied into a long bow at the back, its shiny ends trailing to the floor.
‘Caroline, I-I don’t know how to thank you.’
‘It was entirely my pleasure,’ Caroline says, smiling.
As they’d worked, they’d talked a bit. Caroline had told her about coming over from England as a rich family’s housekeeper a few months ago. She’d grown up under the aegis of a noblewoman who’d treated her as one of her own, teaching her lessons with her own son and daughter. She was accomplished enough in books to be a governess, but there were no teaching jobs available to someone with her skin color. She’s set up a small room in a wing of a house owned by a friend who is also from an immigrant family from Europe. When she isn’t making a living working at her tailoring, she participates in social campaigns. Gen can easily imagine her making an impassioned speech on a stage, appealing for equal rights for everyone.
She says as much, and Caroline laughs. ‘I’m not much of a public speaker, I’m afraid. My friend Jensen usually makes the speeches, but we often write them together. You should come down to the social center sometime and listen to him.’
‘I will,’ Gen promises.
‘Have a wonderful time,’ Caroline says as Gen prepares to leave, her dress folded up neatly and tucked into her bag. ‘Would you like to come to breakfast tomorrow and tell me all about it? I’m making scones.’
‘I’d love to,’ Gen says sincerely. Her heart’s already fluttering at the thought of the evening ahead.
--
Genevieve had expected a lot of things from the performance, but it still steals her breath away. Julie is dressed in a gentleman’s clothing, her shoulder-length hair tied back in a neat queue, a soft felt hat resting on her head and a shiny cane twirling in her hands as she dances with a very tall girl in a white summer dress and pale white stockings. They move gracefully around the stage, singing the story of how a young girl meets the man of her dreams and falls in love, only the man is Julie, wooing the girl with charming smiles and humorous words.
It’s only toward the middle of the performance, when the actor playing the girl’s part finally gets some lines to sing, that Gen realizes with a start that the actor is a boy in girls’ clothing. The kohl around his eyes accentuates the slight slant they have, and his lips are lined in a dark chocolate color. At the end of the last song, Julie gets down on her knees and proposes, and finishes the show with a flourish, bending the boy backwards and kissing his lips lightly.
The audience erupts, getting to their feet and showering the actors with applause. Quite a few flowers are tossed on to the stage at the actors’ feet. They’re both smiling confidently, out of their characters and back as themselves, bowing to the cheering crowd. Julie catches a rose and brings it to her nose, inhaling lightly before she looks right up at the box that Genevieve is in. She throws the rose up in a graceful arc, and Gen fumbles to catch it. Julie inclines her head toward the back, a secret gesture just for Gen, before she leaves the stage.
--
‘Er, Miss McNiven invited me backstage,’ Gen says, fiddling self-consciously with the rose in her hands.
The usher leads her through a corridor packed with stage paraphernalia to a dressing room, knocks smartly on the door and retreats.
‘Come in, come in,’ Julie says, pulling the door open. ‘Did you like the performance, Miss Genevieve?’
‘Yes, ma’am. I liked it very much.’
‘Excellent,’ Julie grins. ‘Think you might help me out of this wretched corset?’
Gen steps forward, setting the rose down carefully on the dressing table. ‘Why do you-’
‘Wear a corset underneath men’s clothes? To make my chest appear flat when I play a man’s part,’ Julie says, her eyes twinkling as she meets Gen’s in the mirror. The smile widens to a wicked grin as Gen blushes furiously. ‘There’s corsets and bandages and all sorts of dreadful things a girl has to put up with,’ she says lightly. ‘All part of the show, you know?’ She unfastens her shirt and lets it slip off her shoulders, leaving them bare. ‘Now, if you please?’
‘Oh. Yes. Of course.’ Gen takes a deep breath and starts undoing the laces at the back of Julie’s tight corset.
‘That’s better,’ Julie says, sitting down at the chair in front of the mirror. There’s linen wrapped over her breasts like a bandage.
‘Isn’t that uncomfortable?’ Gen asks, before she can stop herself.
‘Why, would you like to help me take it off?’ Julie asks, smiling.
‘No, of course not. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any offence.’
‘I didn’t take any,’ Julie says, smiling softly. She picks up a swab of cotton and begins wiping her make-up away. There’s a bit of silence for a while, and Gen is beginning to think she’s been forgotten when Julie turns around in her chair, and reaches forward to take both of Gen’s hands in hers. ‘I usually go out to dinner with the group, but I think I’ll dine in my chambers tonight. Would you do me the honor of joining me?’
--
Julie’s rooms are fit for a queen, Gen thinks dazedly as they sit at a small table with a pretty, frilly white tablecloth and silver cutlery. They’ve finished the main course and there’s fruit on the table, with exotic dark coffee in tiny ceramic cups and two kinds of wine, plus several kinds of cheeses. Beyond the small ante-room, there’s a large bedroom with a fairly large bed, full of fluffy-looking pillows and surrounded by sumptuous curtains.
Julie’s changed into a simple dinner gown, deep red in color and draped softly around her slender figure, clinging to her waist and hips and matching her lustrous hair and the deep red wine in the long-stemmed glass that her fingers are wrapped around.
‘We match,’ she says, touching a fingertip to the red velvet at Gen’s wrist. ‘Are you having a good time?’
‘This is the most wonderful evening of my entire life,’ Gen says honestly.
‘I’m glad,’ Julie murmurs. She wraps her hand around Gen’s and brings it to her lips, pressing them lightly against Gen’s knuckles. ‘You are an enchanting dinner guest, my darling,’ she says against Gen’s skin. She turns Gen’s hand slowly, her lips moving around to the inside of Gen’s wrist, pressing lightly there, inhaling against her skin. ‘Most enchanting.’
‘My lady, I-’
‘Julie. Say my name.’
‘Julie,’ Gen whispers, more a breath than an audible sound, as Julie’s lips move up her arm, pressing tiny kisses through the fabric of Gen’s muslin sleeve, reaching the inside of her elbow and lingering there.
‘Am I too forward?’ Julie asks, nuzzling against Gen’s sensitive skin. She looks up, meeting Gen’s eyes. ‘If so, I apologize. I’m used to taking what I want when I see it. And I want you, so very, very much.’
‘I don’t-I don’t know what to say, my lady. Julie.’
‘Say yes. Say I may kiss you.’
‘Yes,’ Gen says, helpless, wanting. ‘Yes, please, yes.’
Julie leans forward to kiss her deeply. It’s very, very unlike the proprietary stage kiss that she’d given her dance partner. Her tongue parts Gen’s lips easily and delves in like she’s tasting an oyster, licking in deep and sure, moaning against Gen’s mouth as her hands slip down to Gen’s knees and caress upwards, pushing her legs slightly apart, palming her thighs with increasingly greater insistence.
Leaving one hand on Gen’s thigh, she reaches up with the other and begins to pull the pins from Gen’s hair, releasing it from its bun and letting it spill down her back while her mouth moves to Gen’s cheek, open against her jawline, moving lower to the hollow of her throat, her tongue licking there.
‘Come to bed with me,’ Julie says, her face in Gen’s neck. ‘Let me make love to you, my sweet, precious girl.’
‘Whatever you want,’ Gen answers, her mind reeling with sensation, her fingers scrabbling at Julie’s neck, brushing against the ends of her short, silky hair.
‘My beautiful girl,’ Julie says.
--
When she awakens the next morning, it takes Gen a moment to remember where she is. There’s a wide, frilly canopy above her head, and she’s surrounded by white sheets softer than any she’s ever woken up in before. She turns her head on the pillow to see Julie beside her, lying on her stomach, her face turned toward Gen and a sleepy smile on her gorgeous lips.
‘Good morning.’ Julie props herself up on her elbows and leans in for a kiss. It deepens quickly, Julie’s fingers slipping beneath the sheets to stroke Gen slowly, getting her wet before she’s even fully awake. They make love languidly, their fingers slipping inside each other, their mouths never quite leaving each other’s.
‘Harder,’ Julie pants into Gen’s mouth, on all fours above her, pushing down against Gen’s fingers. ‘Fuck me harder, love. Get in there deep, just like that, yes, yes.’ Gen gasps into Julie’s mouth, impossibly aroused both by the rough, erratic movements of Julie’s fingertips circling her clit and the filth streaming from Julie’s mouth between long, wet, urgent kisses.
--
‘Jared-my stage partner-is leaving at the end of this week’s shows,’ Julie says at breakfast, slipping a bit of toast and marmalade into Gen’s mouth, her fingers lingering. ‘I’ve been thinking of making the show a little more enticing. Imagine what the audience would say if I danced with a woman, wooed her and kissed her on the stage. Have you considered a career in theater?’
Three days later, Gen quits her job at the inn and moves into Julie’s rooms. It’s several weeks later, when she’s in front of the mirror removing her make-up, flushed from the night’s successful performance, that she remembers that she never made it to Caroline’s offer of scones for breakfast.
--
‘Must you go?’ Julie says, trailing a finger down Gen’s neck, tracing patterns between her breasts. ‘I’ll miss you terribly, you know.’
‘It’s been months since I saw my family,’ Gen says, squirming as Julie’s mouth replaces her fingers, trailing kisses down her chest and stomach. Julie flicks out her tongue and moves it around Gen’s navel, her saliva glistening on Gen’s skin in the candlelight. ‘I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.’
‘Mm,’ Julie says. ‘I’ll make you stick to your word, you know. If you aren’t back in seven days’-she licks lazily at Gen’s wet cunt-‘I’ll come to your father’s inn and bend you over one of the tables, fuck you right there for everyone to see. Claim you as my own. My very own.’ She rubs her nose against Gen’s clit, her tongue delving deep inside, and Gen has to bite her arm to keep from screaming with pleasure.
--
Richard, their stage manager, makes all the arrangements for Gen’s trip home. She says a hurried goodbye to Julie after lunch, getting into the carriage with two carpet bags full of gifts for her family, taking the train to Boston before getting another carriage for the two-hour journey to the little town at the sea-side where her family has lived for the last two generations, ever since the war.
The sea is home, has always felt like home, but even as she regales her younger sisters with pretty trinkets and tales of the big city, her heart is with Julie, with the stage, with their chambers in which they lose themselves in love-making. She tells her parents about Julie, her generous benefactor, and leaves out the part where she’s hopelessly in love with her.
--
She returns a day early, missing Julie too much to stay longer.
Jared’s in the small office downstairs, bent over some papers, as she enters with her bags. ‘Need some help with those?’ he asks, looking up and smiling.
‘Thank you, no.’ She sits down in one of the chairs, tired from the long journey. ‘I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you might have left the city by now.’
‘Change of plans,’ Jared says, shrugging. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not here to fight you for my old job,’ he says with a grin. He hasn’t been part of the show for weeks, but he attends sometimes, and has been invited over once or twice for Julie’s famous dinner parties. She’d been surprised to find how tall he was when she’d first seen him offstage, dressed in his everyday slacks and sweater vest. Gen’s grown quite fond of him. Unlike some of Julie’s other male guests, he’s a complete gentleman. More than once, she’s thought of confiding in him about her relationship with Julie. Something in his kind eyes and self-deprecating smile tells her he’ll understand.
‘I was just leaving a note for Julie,’ Jared adds, folding up the piece of paper he’s been writing on and putting his pen back into his pocket.
‘Isn’t she home?’ Gen asks, pushing aside a pang of disappointment.
‘I think she has company,’ Jared says, looking a little uncomfortable, and something cold and hard squeezes tight in Gen’s chest.
‘What?’ she says.
‘I-it’s none of my business, really. I didn’t want to intrude,’ Jared says quickly, standing up. He gives her a quick smile. ‘I was just leaving an invitation to a talk on Saturday at the social center. You should come too.’
Gen thanks him for the invitation and sees him out. He kisses her on the cheek as he leaves.
She makes her way upstairs with her heart in her mouth.
Standing outside the door to their shared bedchamber, she knows she shouldn’t go in when she hears the sound of Julie’s familiar laughter from behind the door. She pushes the door open. Julie’s in their bed, straddling Richard’s body, her hair a mess over her face, his hands squeezing her bare breasts.
--
‘It doesn’t have to be like this,’ Julie says, tightening the belt of her robe.
‘Will you give him up?’ Gen asks, her voice thick with tears, pausing in the middle of throwing her clothes into her carpet bag.
‘Darling, do try to understand. It’s business, nothing else. I love you, you know I do. He means nothing. Can’t you see that?’
‘How long?’ Gen asks. ‘How long have you been fucking him?’
‘Ever since he first signed me up. It’s a tough business, you know that. We all need to make compromises.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because I knew you would react like this,’ Julie says, a sad smile lingering on her lips. ‘Stay, Genevieve. For the show, if not for me.’
‘Goodbye, Julie.’ Gen picks up her bag and stumbles out of the room, her vision blinded by tears.
--
‘I wish I could help,’ Alona says, looking stricken. ‘But business hasn’t been terribly good lately, and I don’t think Mr Morgan will give you your job back.’
They’re sitting in a little tea-shop, steam rising from their cups into the crisp afternoon air.
‘It’s all right,’ Gen says quickly, reaching over to squeeze Alona’s hand. ‘I have some money put by, enough to manage for a few weeks. I’m sure I can find another job by then.’
They make their way to a lodging-house run by a Miss Ferris, a social worker. ‘You’re lucky,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘A lodger just left this morning.’
The room’s small but meticulously clean, overlooking the street. ‘I’ll take it,’ Gen says, and pays a week’s rent in advance.
--
Gen doesn’t leave her room for two weeks.
Alona visits frequently, and Miss Ferris looks in every once in a while. The maid comes to clean up once a day, and her meals are sent to her room. She often sends them back untouched, her mind full of Julie, missing her so horribly that she sometimes despairs of never being happy again.
When she realizes she only has enough money to pay for one more week’s food and rent, she goes down to Miss Ferris’s office and asks for her advice about getting a job.
‘Why don’t you visit the social center?’ Miss Ferris says. ‘Caroline’s been trying to set up an employment office especially for women. She might be able to help.’
--
‘I wondered where you’d vanished,’ Caroline says when she sees Gen, looking surprised but pleased. She squeezes Gen’s hand warmly. ‘Did you move away?’
‘I-I was in the theater for a while,’ Gen says. ‘I’ve left now, and I’m looking for a job. My landlady told you might be able to help me. Miss Ferris.’
‘I haven’t officially set up the employment office yet,’ Caroline says. ‘But I’ll definitely what I can do. Are you staying at Samantha’s boarding house?’
Gen nods. ‘To be honest, I’m a little desperate. If I don’t find a job soon, I won’t be able to afford the rent there.’
‘Don’t worry, okay? I’ll do everything I can to help.’ Caroline puts a hand on her arm. ‘I was just leaving for a lecture. Would you like to come?’
--
The lecture is on Marxism. A man with dark blond hair is on stage, and he speaks fervently about workers’ rights. After the talk, Gen turns around when someone calls out her name.
‘Genevieve! I thought that was you.’
‘Jared!’ She throws her arms around him, and Jared laughs with delight and swings her around before setting her down. ‘What’re you doing here?’
‘Jensen’s a friend of mine,’ Jared says, inclining his head in the direction of the scholar who’d given the talk. He’s still on the stage, surrounded by a group of people, all talking animatedly. ‘What are you doing here? I thought I’d never see you again. What happened?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Gen says, unable to meet his eyes. ‘How’s Julie?’
‘Fine, she’s fine. Aren’t you in touch?’ Jared asks in surprise. ‘I thought we might see you at the wedding.’
‘The wedding?’
‘She and Richard are getting married next month,’ Jared says.
‘Oh.’ Gen gives him a quick smile. Her insides feel like ice. ‘No, I don’t think I’ll be there.’
--
Despite her efforts, Caroline still hasn’t managed to find Gen a job and a week has almost passed. She tentatively suggests that Gen talk to Julie about getting her stage job back, but doesn’t mention it again after she sees the stricken look on Gen’s face.
‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘I fell in love with the wrong person,’ Gen says. They’re sitting in Caroline’s workshop, and she’s holding a long length of fabric while Caroline neatly cuts it with a pair of scissors.
‘You can stay with me for a while,’ Caroline offers. ‘I have a spare room.’
‘You’ve been so generous already,’ Gen says. ‘I couldn’t impose.’
‘It wouldn’t be imposing,’ Caroline assures her. ‘I’d be happy to help.’
--
Gen’s on her way back to Miss Ferris’s after leaving Caroline’s office when a horse-drawn carriage pulls up beside her on the street.
‘Hello,’ a woman’s voice says, and Gen peers in to see an elegant-looking woman, perhaps in her late thirties or early forties. ‘Aren’t you the girl from that wonderful stage act I saw last month?’
‘Uh, yes, I suppose. But I don’t act anymore.’
‘I’m Kim. Kim Rhodes,’ the lady says, holding out a gloved hand. ‘Would you like to come back to my house for a cup of tea?’
Gen shakes the proffered hand. “I-I’m not sure what you want with me.’
‘I may have a little proposition for you.’
--
Kim’s house is more a mansion, with a long drive flanked by manicured hedges and a large water fountain in the front. They have tea in the elegant living room. The curtains are draped heavily over the windows, rich and lined with gold brocade.
‘I had the pleasure of dining with Miss McNiven the other night,’ Kim says, leaning forward, her hands clasped together, glittering with rings. ‘She mentioned the unfortunate turn of events that led you to leave the act.’
Gen’s heart jumps. ‘I-I’m sorry?’
‘Come now, my dear. I mean no harm. When I saw you in the street, looking so waif-like, I couldn’t resist stopping. You must be so alone right now.’
‘Miss Rhodes, I really don’t know…’
‘Call me Kim, okay? Let’s not be formal.’
‘Kim,’ Gen says, gathering herself with an effort. ‘I don’t know what you want from me.’
‘Then let me get straight to the point,’ Kim says, her voice businesslike. ‘I’ve been on the lookout for a female companion. I will pay handsomely for the job.’
‘The job?’
‘The job of being my personal companion. For one month, a thousand dollars. To accompany me to social events during the day and to share my bedchambers at night.’
Gen’s breath stops for a moment. ‘Are you… You want to buy my services?’
‘Only if you want to, of course,’ Kim says quickly. ‘I mean no offence, my dear. I just thought you could use a little… sustenance, shall we say? I happen to have the position open, and you look like you could use the money.’
‘A thousand dollars for a month?’
‘Yes. Half paid to you in advance, right now, if you wish. And we can certainly talk about renewing your contract at the end of the month, if the prospect appeals to both of us.’
--
She goes to Caroline’s house after leaving Kim’s place, her purse heavy with the advance payment.
At the door, Caroline pulls her into a quick hug. ‘I was worried. Where were you?’
‘I-I got a job.’
‘But that’s fabulous!’ Caroline kisses her on the cheek, her eyes shining with happiness, and Gen smiles weakly. ‘When do you start?’
‘Tomorrow. It’s… uh, it’s a residential position.’
‘Then we must celebrate tonight,’ Caroline says, squeezing her arm. ‘Jared and Jensen are coming over for dinner.’
--
They cook together. Caroline makes macaroni and cheese, and Gen peels a bowl of potatoes and bakes them, coating them with a little butter and sprinkling them with herbs when they’re done.
‘Best meal I’ve ever had,’ Jared declares after dinner, pushing his plate away and leaning back with a sigh.
Beside him, Jensen laughs and reaches for the dishes. ‘We’ll wash up.’
‘You don’t have to, really,’ Caroline says, but Jensen’s already heading to the kitchen with a stack of plates in his arms.
‘I’ll help,’ Gen offers, but Jensen’s already got his hands in the sudsy water, sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
‘You can dry,’ he grins.
‘I was at your lecture the other day.’ She takes a plate from him and rubs it dry with a dish towel. ‘You were fantastic.’
‘Tell Jared that,’ Jensen says with a laugh. ‘He couldn’t stop poking holes in my speech all night. But thank you. I’m glad you could come.’
Jared pokes his head into the kitchen. ‘Did I hear my name? You need my help, darlin’?’
‘No.’ Jensen flicks a soap sud at him. ‘But call me that again and I’ll kick that pretty ass of yours.’
Jared laughs out loud, pressing a kiss into the side of Jensen’s head. ‘You love it.’
Gen shares a smile with Caroline, who’s come in behind Jared. ‘I know,’ Caroline says. ‘Sickening, aren’t they?’
That night, curled up on the bed in Caroline’s spare room, Gen thinks of Jensen and Jared together, the easy way they’d shared affection in front of her and Caroline. Something about Caroline’s small house, filled with banter and warmth, welcomes her like nothing else, not even her parents’ home. It’s a place where people can feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment, and not for the first time, she feels a pang of regret that she can’t stay.
--
Kim greets Gen at her house the next afternoon. She’s wearing tight riding breeches and carrying a riding crop.
‘Have you been riding?’ Gen asks politely, more to make conversation than out of any real curiosity.
‘Not yet.’ Kim grins, beckoning Gen upstairs.
‘This is our bedchamber.’ She leads Gen into a huge room dominated by a king-sized bed. Wispy gold curtains flutter at the windows, and each corner of the room displays statues of nude women. ‘Like it?’
‘It’s… it’s lovely.’
‘Good. Now get out of that silly dress and put on the outfit I’ve laid out for you. Our guests will be here soon.’
--
‘Ravishing, my dear,’ Kim says when Gen comes down the stairs. ‘Just ravishing.’ She takes Gen’s hand and kisses the side of her neck. Gen’s wearing a tight, rust-colored bodice that leaves her neck and shoulders bare, and a pair of shiny black trousers. She’s only worn trousers on stage before, during the times that she and Julie had exchanged roles, Gen as the gentleman and Julie as the woman.
‘Do you like your outfit?’ Kim slides a hand between Gen’s legs and squeezes. ‘I have something that goes here, but that can wait until we’re alone tonight.’
The doorbell rings, but Kim doesn’t remove her hand. A fingertip rubs at the silky crotch of the trousers, and Gen bites back a moan, pushing forward involuntarily into Kim’s hand.
‘Slut,’ Kim says with a laugh, pulling away.
There are around twenty guests in all, mostly women. Dinner is not a formal affair, with people helping themselves from the large buffet-style table and engaging in conversation throughout, sitting on the sofas or out on the terrace-style balcony that looks on to the huge garden. Kim doesn’t leave Gen for most of the evening, introducing her to many of the guests, all of them noblewomen from old, wealthy families, as far as Gen can tell. Kim keeps up a continual commentary, whispering scandalous tales about the guests into Gen’s ear.
‘That one,’ she murmurs, lifting her wine glass in the direction of a tall, striking woman with blond curls piled high on her head. ‘She’s separated from her husband because he caught her in bed with her maid. And them’-she gestures toward a petite, raven-haired woman with pale skin and lips painted a dramatic red, who’s been leading another woman around with a leash around her neck-‘that’s Lady Margaret and her girl Penelope. Penelope has a respectable job as a governess. Can you imagine what the family would say if they could see her like this, crawling around on all fours?’
‘She seems to like it,’ Gen says, watching the girl, who is now kneeling on the floor beside Lady Margaret, gracefully accepting tidbits from the lady’s fingers.
‘That’s why they’re here,’ Kim says with a smile. ‘Because they can act out their desires, and no one will judge them.’ She leans forward to kiss Gen lightly. ‘You think you might like that? Hmm? Wearing a collar and a leash, submitting to my whims?’
‘I-I’m not sure, my lady.’
‘Call me Mistress,’ Kim murmurs. ‘Just for tonight. Won’t you?’ She puts her hand on top of Gen’s head and pushes down, and Gen slides to her knees as Kim pulls up her thin skirt.
‘Here?’ Gen whispers, half-aroused, half-mortified. Everyone can see them.
‘Here,’ Kim says, fisting her hand in Gen’s hair and pushing Gen’s face between her legs.
--
It hadn’t been so bad, Gen tells herself as she waits in the bedroom for Kim to come upstairs. In a way, it had been unimaginably exciting; she’d never seen other people have sex, let alone so freely and decadently.
‘Did you have a good time?’ Kim asks from the doorway, and Gen sucks in her breath. Kim’s leaning against the doorframe in nothing but her sheer black stockings and garters, her ever-present glass of wine in one hand.
Without waiting for Gen to answer, she comes in and sits on the bed. ‘Open the top drawer beside you.’
Gen does as asked, reaching for the night table beside the bed. Inside the top drawer is a large box made of polished wood.
‘Open it.’
Inside the box, resting on black silk, is a large wooden phallus, complete with a set of testicles. It’s attached to a long black strap.
‘Put it on.’
‘I-what?’
‘The strap goes around your waist, darling.’ Kim laughs, setting down the wine glass and reaching for the buttons on Gen’s trousers. She opens the trousers all the way but leaves them on. ‘Here, let me show you.’ She straps the belt around Gen’s waist and then slides a hand down the shining wood with a soft moan. ‘Give me your hands.’
Kim holds Gen’s wrists together in front of her. ‘Ever been tied up? Gagged?’
Gen shakes her head.
‘Would you like to try?’ Kim licks up Gen’s neck, leaving a trailing of saliva on her skin.
‘Yes, Mistress.’ Her blood is pounding in her veins.
Kim chuckles against her ear. ‘Good girl.’
Gen spends the next hour bound securely to a chair, her phallus sticking out obscenely from between her legs, with Kim straddling her and fucking herself, smothering Gen’s face with her breasts. The smooth, polished wood of the dildo rubs against Gen’s wet clit with deliciously unforgiving friction, and she screams out her pleasure into her gag multiple times before the night is through.
--
‘You like this?’ Kim asks the following afternoon, thrusting into Gen. She’s wearing the dildo this time. Gen is bound on the bed, on her back, arms and legs stretched wide.
‘Yes, Ma’am,’ Gen gasps. She doesn’t really like it all that much, but Kim’s lubricated her with generous amounts of oil and it doesn’t hurt.
She’d been given a late breakfast in bed and a huge tub of steaming water to bathe in, and her body is relaxed and pliant, Kim molding her into the perfect pet, as she likes to call her. It could be worse.
‘I think I’ll fuck your gorgeous ass next,’ Kim says, thrusting harder, and Gen moans just the way Kim’s taught her to.
--
A fortnight later, Caroline comes to visit.
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ she says a little nervously, her eyes large and a little anxious. ‘I didn’t get a response to my letter, so I thought I’d come and see you.’
‘I don’t mind at all.’ Gen throws her arms around Caroline and hugs her close, smelling the scent of Caroline’s soap and the clean, warm fragrance of the starch she uses on her cotton dresses.
When she releases Caroline from the embrace, she sees Kim standing in the doorway, a wisp of smoke curling up from the long cigarette holder in her fingers, her lips twisted sardonically.
‘Friend of yours?’ she asks, taking another drag of her cigarette.
‘Kim, this is Caroline. Caroline, my employer, Kim Rhodes.’
‘I’m pleased to meet you, ma’am.’ Caroline holds out her hand, and Kim shakes it firmly.
‘I’ll leave you to chat,’ Kim says, cupping Gen’s cheek and running a thumb over her lips. ‘Don’t be too long, now.’
The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed, and Caroline doesn’t quite meet Gen’s eyes as they sit together on the sofa. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.’
‘It’s fine,’ Gen says quickly. ‘I’m glad to see you.’
‘Is she-are you all right?’ Caroline’s eyes are on the thin red lines around Gen’s wrists, left behind from the ropes Kim had used on her the previous night.
‘I’m fine,’ Gen says, squeezing Caroline’s hand. ‘Honest, I am. It’s not what it looks like. She’s-she’s good to me.’
‘She’s paying you to let her do these things to you.’ Caroline voice is low, almost hurt.
‘She’s not hurting me, Caroline.’
‘You-you like this life?’
Gen shrugs. ‘I don’t dislike it. After Julie, I-I don’t know. It’s not so bad, you know?’
‘I won’t pretend to understand.’ Caroline’s not smiling, but they change the subject. Over tea and biscuits, she tells Gen about what’s been happening at the social center.
‘Jared’s been staying with me the last few days,’ she says. ‘He had a fight with Jensen.’
‘What? Why?’
‘There was an anonymous letter delivered to the center last week. A threat to Jensen’s life. His last lecture seems to have brought some anti-abolitionists out of the woodwork. Jared doesn’t want him to give public lectures for a while, and Jensen won’t listen.’
‘So Jared left him?’
Caroline gives her a small smile. ‘Not for good, I think. They’re too close for that, if you ask me. I have a spare room, and I don’t mind. It’s nice to have someone else around the house.’
‘I can’t believe there are still anti-abolitionist groups that are active, even after the war.’
‘Sometimes it feels like it’ll be a long time before the battles are over,’ Caroline says.
Gen reaches forward to hug her. ‘I miss you,’ she says, surprising herself by how much she means it.
‘I miss you too.’ Caroline pulls away. She doesn’t visit again.
--
On the last night before Gen’s contract is up, Kim throws another of her frequent parties. She’s hinted more than once that she’ll renew the contract for another six months, since Gen’s performance so far has apparently been pleasing.
That night, Gen is on her hands and knees, wearing very little, a collar around her neck. Kim and Lady Margaret play with Gen and Penelope, making them kneel in front of each other and kiss before Penelope’s face is shoved between Kim’s legs and Margaret fucks Gen from behind. She doesn’t use nearly as much lubrication as Kim usually does and it’s painful. By the end of it, Gen’s face is pressed against the floor, tears trickling down her cheeks as she tries to bites back her cries.
‘I didn’t ask for that,’ she tells Kim later that night, when the guests have gone and she’s been allowed to dress.
Kim arches a perfect eyebrow. ‘You didn’t enjoy it?’
‘No,’ Gen says. ‘I-I like it with you, but I didn’t think you’d let anyone else use me.’
‘It’s in your contract, in case you didn’t notice.’
‘I-I know. It’s just that you’ve never enforced it, and I thought-’
‘Genevieve,’ Kim says patiently, brushing a strand of hair away from Gen’s face. ‘This isn’t a relationship. You remember that, don’t you? You’re to do as required. If you can’t, I’ll find someone else who can.’
‘Was tonight a test? To see how far I’ll go?’
Kim shrugs. ‘Think of it that way, if you like. And you haven’t failed, Genevieve. I’m perfectly willing to extend your contract, if you agree to abide by the terms.’
‘Will you pay me my remaining five hundred if I leave?’
‘Yes,’ Kim says shortly, getting up to pour herself a drink.
‘Then I would like to be paid, please.’
Kim takes a sip of whiskey. ‘And I suppose you want to leave?’
Gen nods.
Kim sighs, putting her hand on top of Gen’s head. ‘You’re sure? It’s not an easy world to live in, darling.’
Gen looks up at her. ‘I’m sure.’
They sleep in separate beds that night, and the next morning, Gen packs her carpet bag and sets off for Miss Ferris’s.
--
‘What did you say to Caroline?’ Samantha Ferris asks, looking at Gen over the rim of her teacup. ‘She looked quite upset when she got back from visiting you.’
‘She did?’ Gen’s hands tighten around her cup. ‘I didn’t-I didn’t mean to cause her any distress.’
‘It’s been bad for her, what with the threats to the group and all that,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘Yesterday, someone painted slurs on the doors and windows of her workshop. Nasty things.’
‘Fuck,’ Gen says before she can stop herself. Miss Ferris raises her eyebrows. ‘Sorry,’ Gen says quickly. ‘But-is she okay?’
‘As well as can be expected. She’s a strong girl. She’ll get through this.’
‘I need to see her.’ Gen gulps down the rest of her tea and stands. ‘Do you mind if I leave my bag downstairs? I can pay you my rent in advance if you like.’
‘Keep your money,’ Miss Ferris says, squeezing her hand. ‘Go see your friend first.’
--
When Gen reaches the building where Caroline’s workshop is, she finds Jared outside, scrubbing at a window with a rag that smells of turpentine.
‘Gen!’ He smiles broadly at her. ‘I’d hug you, but my hands are filthy.’
‘That’s okay,’ she says with a grin. ‘It’s so good to see you, Jared.’
‘You too,’ Jared says warmly, rubbing his hands on his trousers. ‘I didn’t think we’d see you in these parts again.’
Gen shrugs. ‘I missed everyone, you know? How’s Jensen?’
‘Haven’t seen him,’ Jared says airily, waving a dismissive hand, but he looks away. ‘You want to see Caroline? She’s at the lecture hall. There’s a talk this afternoon.’
‘By Jensen?’
‘Yeah,’ Jared says, still looking at his feet, and Gen squeezes his arm.
Jared looks up. ‘It’s okay. You want to go with me? I’m done here.’
‘I heard about what happened yesterday.’ Gen looks at the windows. Jared’s done a pretty good job of scrubbing the paint away.
‘Bastards,’ Jared says, slinging an arm around her shoulders. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
--
The lecture hall is already buzzing with activity, people standing on chairs and putting up banners, some gathered at tables, talking loudly. Caroline is in front of the stage with Jensen, their heads bent over a sheaf of papers.
‘I wouldn’t bother them now,’ Jared says. ‘Come on, let’s find some chairs. The hall gets filled up pretty quick.’
He looks toward the end of the hall, but Gen grabs his hand and leads him to one of the rows in the middle. ‘You don’t have to talk to him,’ she says, squeezing his hand.
‘I should be up there, you know? Helping him.’ Jared looks down at his hands. ‘I’m such an idiot.’
‘You love him,’ Gen says. ‘People do stupid things when they’re in love.’
He gives her a brief, self-effacing laugh. ‘Don’t I know it. He won’t even look at me.’
Before Gen can answer, a deafening crack sounds through the room, and the acrid smell of gunpowder fills her nostrils.
At the stage, Jensen crumples to the floor, a scarlet stain blooming on the front of his white shirt. Someone behind Gen starts to scream.
--
Three hours later, Gen is sitting in the waiting room at the clinic. There’s a huge crowd of people outside, carrying placards with slogans but otherwise subdued and quiet.
Caroline is sitting next to her, elbows on her knees and her face buried in her hands. ‘I knew this would happen one day,’ she says, her voice muffled. ‘I shouldn’t have agreed to let him do this.’
Gen hesitates a little, but then puts a hand on Caroline’s back, and rubs gently. ‘You can’t blame yourself.’
Caroline drops her hands into her lap, sitting back with a small sigh. ‘Yeah, I know.’ She glances at Gen. ‘How’re you doing?’
‘I’m okay,’ Gen says. ‘I just wish the doctors would tell us something. It’s been hours.’
It’s another hour before Jared comes out into the corridor where they’re waiting. ‘He’s okay,’ he says, sinking into an empty chair. He looks distraught, his face pale and his hair wild, his sweater-vest stained with blood. ‘He’ll be okay.’
He’s shaking. Caroline puts her arms around him, her face wet with tears of relief.
--
‘Alex seems to have acted alone,’ Caroline says the next morning. They’d spent the night on empty beds at the hospital, along with several other members of the group. Alex Bentley, the man who’d shot Jensen, had been a member of the group. He’d been grabbed before he could attempt to flee from the hall, and is now in police custody.
Caroline rubs a weary hand over her face. ‘I still can’t believe he would do this.’
‘Always knew there was something off about him,’ Samantha Ferris says. She looks as worn and exhausted as the rest of them. ‘I just hope you’re right, and there was no one else involved.’
‘The writing on the anonymous letter matches his,’ Caroline says. ‘But I don’t think we can rule out the possibility that he was sent by an anti-abolitionist group.’
‘He’s not talking?’ Gen asks.
Caroline shakes her head. ‘Not yet.’
‘Why don’t you girls go home and get some rest?’ Samantha says, putting a hand on Gen’s shoulder.
‘We’ll be back soon. Send us word if you need anything,’ Caroline says, getting to her feet. ‘You coming?’ she asks, and Gen follows her out.
--
They walk silently back to Caroline’s house, snow crunching under their boots. Gen thinks of Jared’s terrified face, thinks of how Caroline’s world would have crumbled if Bentley had succeeded in his mission. She moves a little closer to Caroline, linking their fingers together.
‘Thanks,’ Caroline says softly, squeezing her fingers. ‘You’ve been great.’
‘I didn’t do anything.’
‘You were there.’
They don’t say anything else until they’re inside the house. After they wash up, Gen makes soup and they sit at the kitchen table, both too tired to really eat.
‘We were just going over his speech together,’ Caroline says, and Gen looks up to see tears trickling from her eyes. ‘And then there was that awful sound and he… I thought he was dead.’
Gen gets up and circles her arms around Caroline. ‘It’s all right,’ she says, stroking Caroline’s short curls, holding her close and letting her cry. ‘Everything’s all right.’
--
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken down like that. It was silly,’ Caroline says a few hours later. They’re still in Caroline’s bed, where they’d both collapsed from exhaustion.
Gen reaches over to touch her face. ‘It wasn’t. You had a terrible shock, and you almost lost one of your best friends.’
Caroline smiles a little. ‘Do you always know the right thing to say?’
Gen flushes and tries to move her hand back, but Caroline grabs it and squeezes it. ‘Thank you. Really.’ She lets go of Gen’s hand. ‘You ready to go back to the hospital?’ Gen nods and watches her get out of bed, unable to help feeling that she’s just missed an opportune moment.
--
They go back to the hospital with some food for Jared. He’s asleep in a chair beside Jensen’s bed, and Jensen puts a finger to his lips when they walk in. ‘I thought he’d never sleep,’ he says softly. He’s sitting up, his back against the pillows, bandages wrapped around his chest.
‘Are you sure you should be sitting up?’ Caroline asks dubiously.
Jensen smiles tiredly. ‘I’m okay. Been sleeping all morning.’ He looks over at Jared. ‘Him, not so much. I think he thought I’d stop breathing if he closed his eyes.’
‘It was awful for us. It must’ve been terrifying for him,’ Caroline says.
‘I know,’ Jensen says, looking a little guilty. ‘Kid looks terrible.’
Caroline hands Jensen a bowl of soup. ‘I know you hate soup, but the doctors say you have to be on liquids for a couple of days.’
‘I’ll live,’ Jensen says, making a face. He lifts a spoonful of soup to his mouth and takes a sip. ‘This is great, thanks.’
He can’t manage more than a few sips of the soup, and Gen takes the bowl from him and puts it on the table beside his bed, covering it up with a plate. ‘I’m glad you’re okay,’ she says.
He smiles up at her. ‘I’m glad you’re back.’ He glances at Caroline. ‘Caroline missed you,’ he says with a grin.
‘Shut up,’ Caroline mutters, looking at her feet, and Jensen laughs.
--
They’re both in good spirits when they get back to Caroline’s place.
‘He must be in pain, but he won’t show it,’ Caroline says with a sigh, but she doesn’t look wrecked anymore. ‘I think he must be the bravest person I know.’
‘You’re both brave,’ Gen says, sitting down across the table from her. ‘The work you do… it’s incredible.’
‘Is that why you left us?’ Caroline says with a sardonic smile, and Gen’s thrown by her words.
‘I didn’t-I always meant to come back.’
‘Would you have? If Jensen hadn’t been shot, would you be here now?’
‘I-I don’t know. But I would have wanted to see you eventually.’
‘Once you got tired of your rich friends?’
‘They weren’t my friends. I was… I was being paid. You know that.’
‘I told you you could stay with me. We’d have found you work. You didn’t have to… to do that.’
Gen looks down at her hands. ‘I… I didn’t want to be a burden.’
‘That’s a load of crap.’
Gen looks up. ‘What do you want me to say? That I’m proud of what I’ve done? I’m not.’
Caroline doesn’t answer, her lips pressed into a thin line. ‘Why are you bringing this up?’ Gen asks. ‘I thought we…’
‘Had a moment?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I was tired, and I was hurting. You were there. It doesn’t mean anything.’ Caroline looks away.
‘Do you want me to leave?’ Gen asks quietly.
Caroline closes her eyes for a moment. ‘No,’ she says finally. ‘But you… you need to give me time. I’m not sure I can think straight right now.’
‘I know,’ Gen says quickly. ‘If you let me stay, I’ll-I’ll make myself useful. Clean your rooms, cook, anything. Please, just give me a chance.’
Caroline gives her a small smile. ‘We’ll talk about it later, okay? I need to get back to the office for a while. With Jensen gone, it must be in chaos.’
--
Gen goes back to the boarding house to find Miss Ferris on her way out. ‘I thought you’d be at Caroline’s,’ she says in surprise.
‘I’d like to take a room here, if that’s okay.’
‘Sure,’ Miss Ferris says. ‘You know you’re welcome anytime. There are a couple of rooms free. Take whichever you like. Alona will help you.’
The next day, Gen spends two hours waiting at Caroline’s doorstep. She’s contemplating going back to the boarding house when a long shadow falls across her.
‘Hey,’ Jared says. ‘What’re you doing out here? Carol won’t be back for ages.’ He still looks tired, and there’s a thick sheaf of papers under his arm.
‘How’s Jensen?’ Gen gets to her feet, taking the papers from him so he can unlock the door.
‘Complaining about the soup and insisting on working,’ Jared says, shaking his head. ‘He threw me out, said I wasn’t to come back until I got a good night’s sleep.’
Gen smiles. ‘Sounds like he’s getting better.’
‘Come on in,’ he says, allowing her to go in first.
‘I’m not sure I should,’ Gen says, nervous. ‘When Caroline gets back…’
‘Did you two have a fight or something?’ Jared asks in surprise.
‘Not exactly, but…’
‘Well, then come in. I’m sure she won’t mind.’
--
By the time she hears Caroline’s key in the lock, Gen has dinner cooking in the oven.
Please, she thinks, crossing her fingers behind her back. Please.
‘Jared, are you cooking?’ Caroline’s voice is high with surprise as she pushes open the kitchen door and enters. She stops dead when she sees Gen.
‘Jared let me in,’ Gen says quickly. ‘He’s gone back to the hospital.’
Caroline smiles. ‘Jensen won’t be happy.’
‘Would you like some tea?’ Gen says, pouring out a cup before Caroline can answer.
Caroline accepts the tea and sits down at the scrubbed wooden table, taking a sip. ‘I’m sorry,’ she offers quietly. ‘I was a little hard on you earlier. I apologize, Genevieve.’
Something loosens inside Gen’s chest. ‘I would’ve done the same,’ she says. ‘I-I know I hurt you, Caroline. I just-’
‘Don’t,’ Caroline says, holding up a hand. ‘Just, don’t, okay? Not right now.’
‘Okay.’ Gen glances up at Caroline. ‘I’m sorry. I know you’re tired. I’ll-I’ll see you later.’
Caroline grasps her wrist. ‘You don’t have to leave. Just… just sit down and drink your tea. Please.’
Gen ducks her head and smiles. ‘Okay.’
--
They eat dinner in companionable silence. It’s just potatoes baked with cheese, but Caroline seems to relish every bite, smiling up at Gen from time to time and pouring them both a glass of warm mulled wine when they finish eating. They sit on the sofa and watch the fire crackling for a while.
‘What are we celebrating?’ Gen asks after a few minutes, taking a sip of wine.
Caroline shrugs. ‘Lots of things. Jensen’s okay. It’s snowing. No one’s tried to kill anyone today.’ She leans forward to clink her glass against Gen’s. ‘You’re here.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ Gen says. ‘Not again.’
‘We’ll see,’ Caroline says, but she’s smiling a little.
~end
Thanks for reading!