well now
i'm "working" on this 12 page paper that's due on monday. I haven't really started. it's bad. I can't seem to focus at all.
I decided recently to have a huge semi-reunion party at my house over break and i can't decide it that was a really crazy cool idea or just stupid. i keep saying "jesus, i don't even like half these people, why would i want to invite them to my house!?" and i'm not sure how to respond. i know that part of me wants to be all cool and have everyone go "oh wow, isn't she cool" and "gosh i feel like a nitwit for being such a bastard to her is high school." but then i kind of think about it and i realized that i don't really think anyone was a bastard to me in high school. high school sucked, but not because people picked on me or anything. people who didn't like me didn't know me or thought i was weird. and i was. and that hasn't changed. so then i worry that people are actually going to show up to my house and it's going to be the same. no one will have changed enough for it to be different. my mom says this is what it's like when there are reunions. you bitch and moan about how you don't even like these people and then you have a good time. hopefully that will be true. hopefully people will have fun and not be all weirded out, or they'll be able to take it all in stride at least. fuck 'em i'm kicking them out if they aren't having fun. also, i'm getting drunk as hell so that i can put up with them.
also, i'm going to have to find something i look fucking hot in. because i'm a shallow bitch.
my dad, funny thing, also signed up on thefacebook, which is too hysterical. we're friends now. strange. i have on there that i'm interested in men and women and i don't think i've ever really said that to my parents. i can't imagine that they'll care, but it seems like a funny way to learn that your daughter is bi.
and a funny way to let all the people from high school know. (of course they're probably all like "oooh, well it's kendra you know, she's unique you know. of course she's bisexual. how odd. plus she goes to reed. everyone who goes there is bisexual and does drugs like whoa." bitches.) I am finding myself quite puckish in my sudden caring about what all these people think.
I decided recently to have a huge semi-reunion party at my house over break and i can't decide it that was a really crazy cool idea or just stupid. i keep saying "jesus, i don't even like half these people, why would i want to invite them to my house!?" and i'm not sure how to respond. i know that part of me wants to be all cool and have everyone go "oh wow, isn't she cool" and "gosh i feel like a nitwit for being such a bastard to her is high school." but then i kind of think about it and i realized that i don't really think anyone was a bastard to me in high school. high school sucked, but not because people picked on me or anything. people who didn't like me didn't know me or thought i was weird. and i was. and that hasn't changed. so then i worry that people are actually going to show up to my house and it's going to be the same. no one will have changed enough for it to be different. my mom says this is what it's like when there are reunions. you bitch and moan about how you don't even like these people and then you have a good time. hopefully that will be true. hopefully people will have fun and not be all weirded out, or they'll be able to take it all in stride at least. fuck 'em i'm kicking them out if they aren't having fun. also, i'm getting drunk as hell so that i can put up with them.
also, i'm going to have to find something i look fucking hot in. because i'm a shallow bitch.
my dad, funny thing, also signed up on thefacebook, which is too hysterical. we're friends now. strange. i have on there that i'm interested in men and women and i don't think i've ever really said that to my parents. i can't imagine that they'll care, but it seems like a funny way to learn that your daughter is bi.
and a funny way to let all the people from high school know. (of course they're probably all like "oooh, well it's kendra you know, she's unique you know. of course she's bisexual. how odd. plus she goes to reed. everyone who goes there is bisexual and does drugs like whoa." bitches.) I am finding myself quite puckish in my sudden caring about what all these people think.