Sep 11, 2004 18:47
i've decided i KIND of dislike livejournal because people think that all your entries are looking for sympathy. but sometimes it's easier to say things when you have the opportunity to backspace and delete and over-write 3 times before it's finished. it's much easier than saying things on the spot. oh well.
sometimes the movie playing on the back of my eyelids seems to be more real. if i close my eyes long enough, i can almost feel like you're right next to me. sometimes i wonder what you're doing, but then i remember how much I despise you. way to be the one to break me, way to be. thanks so much for totally crushing my self-being, i really appreciate it. i mean, you love me after all. you always said how much you love me; how horrible you would be if i ever left you. but now you say "love you too" through a sigh i can't bear to hear. no one has as much control on me emotionally as you do. well did, because now i'm just numb. once again i would like to thank all the people that have helped me get where i am today. in no particular order...
i feel as if i'm at a turning point. the top of the hill would be a better description. looking down, i know this is going to hurt. going up takes so long, you work your ass off. you feel that you're approaching your goal. life might almost seem complete, but who am i to say when my life is so good? so here i stand near the highest point of my life. the ride back down has started now; i'm gaining velocity.
please don't cry love, fall into my arms and drift away instead...i miss you..don't cry