An event vent
A situation came up today that I was totally unprepared for. By that I mean that I had an opinion on an issue and expected other people would probably share my opinion. In fact, it never occurred to me that anyone would have seriously different ideas about this subject. And then, it turned out no one agreed with me much at all.
At my office we usually have going away luncheons for departing employees, and frequently we let the employee choose the location of the farewell. This time around, the employee in question said he wanted to have an evening event at Hooter's. I laughed at him, told him that wasn't appropriate for a work-related function, and to choose another location. He thought about it for a while, said that he didn't really want to go anywhere else, and so we came up with a compromise: we would hold a brief farewell in the office; I'd bring a cake, we'd give speeches, hand out gifts and properly decorate him with leis. Then in the evening, he could have an "unofficial" farewell at Hooter's and invite everyone that he wanted in attendance.
I sent out an email about that, and got a pretty concerned response from one of my management coworkers. He said that he and another manager had discussed it, and wanted to go with the employee's initial request to have the party at Hooter's. I said that I was uncomfortable with that. I went over and talked to him, and said that I didn't feel like Hooter's was a professional or appropriate place for a work gathering. Not that I have any personal problem with it, just that it wasn't part of the office culture I was trying to promulgate. He told me Hooter's was a legitimate business establishment, a restaurant/bar on par with most of the other places we have luncheons, and couldn't understand my concern. He told me to go talk to the other manager about it.
I stopped on the way to call my company's HR rep, who looked into the situation and essentially said that it wasn't against company policy as long as no one was required to go, but that she thought it was unprofessional and in bad taste. I then called up my boss (who, in the complicated world of contracting, is not actually the boss of the other managers). I asked him his opinion, and he gave me the same "legitimate business" line and said he didn't really see a problem.
So I went to talk to the other manager. When I brought up my concerns about the environment not being appropriate for everyone, he said he planned to bring his thirteen year old son and didn't see the problem. I was point blank, said his son probably wanted to go because he wanted to look at the large-breasted women. I said that part of Hooter's charm/mystique/theme is that the feature tight t-shirts covering large breasts serving you food and alcohol. He agreed, but said that he didn't see a problem since no one had to come, and that's where the employee wanted to go.
I felt like I was hitting my head against a wall. The last thing I wanted to do was have a situation where someone would choose not to attend because they were uncomfortable with the venue. Maybe I'm just projecting, though... I seem to be the only one who is uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that the last manager I talked to is kind of in charge, in a weird way, and he refused to have two parties as I suggested. He was kind, but matter-of-fact that this is how it was going to happen. Without the support of either HR or my boss, I didn't really have any options, so I just said that I didn't feel comfortable handling the arrangements but if that was his decision then he could do it.
Thoughts, anyone? Is this some archaic form of feminism or office etiquette? Am I wrong to think that anyone will find Hooter's an awkward venue? Am I just weird and crazy? Do I just really need to go study art history instead of being a middle manager on a DOD contract?
At my office we usually have going away luncheons for departing employees, and frequently we let the employee choose the location of the farewell. This time around, the employee in question said he wanted to have an evening event at Hooter's. I laughed at him, told him that wasn't appropriate for a work-related function, and to choose another location. He thought about it for a while, said that he didn't really want to go anywhere else, and so we came up with a compromise: we would hold a brief farewell in the office; I'd bring a cake, we'd give speeches, hand out gifts and properly decorate him with leis. Then in the evening, he could have an "unofficial" farewell at Hooter's and invite everyone that he wanted in attendance.
I sent out an email about that, and got a pretty concerned response from one of my management coworkers. He said that he and another manager had discussed it, and wanted to go with the employee's initial request to have the party at Hooter's. I said that I was uncomfortable with that. I went over and talked to him, and said that I didn't feel like Hooter's was a professional or appropriate place for a work gathering. Not that I have any personal problem with it, just that it wasn't part of the office culture I was trying to promulgate. He told me Hooter's was a legitimate business establishment, a restaurant/bar on par with most of the other places we have luncheons, and couldn't understand my concern. He told me to go talk to the other manager about it.
I stopped on the way to call my company's HR rep, who looked into the situation and essentially said that it wasn't against company policy as long as no one was required to go, but that she thought it was unprofessional and in bad taste. I then called up my boss (who, in the complicated world of contracting, is not actually the boss of the other managers). I asked him his opinion, and he gave me the same "legitimate business" line and said he didn't really see a problem.
So I went to talk to the other manager. When I brought up my concerns about the environment not being appropriate for everyone, he said he planned to bring his thirteen year old son and didn't see the problem. I was point blank, said his son probably wanted to go because he wanted to look at the large-breasted women. I said that part of Hooter's charm/mystique/theme is that the feature tight t-shirts covering large breasts serving you food and alcohol. He agreed, but said that he didn't see a problem since no one had to come, and that's where the employee wanted to go.
I felt like I was hitting my head against a wall. The last thing I wanted to do was have a situation where someone would choose not to attend because they were uncomfortable with the venue. Maybe I'm just projecting, though... I seem to be the only one who is uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that the last manager I talked to is kind of in charge, in a weird way, and he refused to have two parties as I suggested. He was kind, but matter-of-fact that this is how it was going to happen. Without the support of either HR or my boss, I didn't really have any options, so I just said that I didn't feel comfortable handling the arrangements but if that was his decision then he could do it.
Thoughts, anyone? Is this some archaic form of feminism or office etiquette? Am I wrong to think that anyone will find Hooter's an awkward venue? Am I just weird and crazy? Do I just really need to go study art history instead of being a middle manager on a DOD contract?