thanks for ruining christmas.
tonight, for the first time in my entire life, i cried on christmas eve. ive never been more sad, or felt so compleately dissapointed. i love how my brother and sister couldnt even set aside thier shit for one night. after waiting all month for just ONE person to find some time to watch the muppet christmas carol with me... i finally just watched it by myself yesterday. this doesnt feel like christmas, after all the death this year, all the stupid horrible things that happened this year... it was super fucking hard to find a way to be happy and cheerful for christmas. im so pissed off, at everyone, at my friends for acting so harshly tward eachother, at the assholes who come into my work and treat everyone like shit, at my brother and sister for not being able to get through ONE night without starting problems, at my aunt, and my friends who willingly took themselves out of my life, at the stupid fucker who killed my friend, who didnt even check to see if she was ok... who has no legal repercussions, because he isnt even a citizen of this country, and at myself for letting them ruin the one time of year i never had to TRY to be happy. i dont know how anything good can survive here. all i see are horrible people getting off scot free, while genuine and noble people get all the sadness they leave behind. im starting to think kelli was right, dont ever be excited for the light at the end of the tunnel, because its probably a drunk driver on the wrong side of the road. merry fucking christmas, im over this bullshit.