'til we get it figured out.
when i look back on my ordinary, ordinary life i see so much magic, though i missed it at the time.
lately my best friend has been music. it can never do you wrong.
I HAVE THREE WEEKS! THREE OF THE BEST FREAKING WEEKS AHEAD OF ME. three weeks just like old times. after that, i'll basically be dead. i wonder who i'll be when it's over. i have a feeling the next three weeks are going to change me A LOT. it'll teach me to survive on my own. i need to learn to survive on my own. i make the mistake of relying on the wrong people to make me happy. i always decide to leave the good ones, the ones who are looking out for my best interest behind me. and i try to fool myself and believe that everyone else can fix me. no one can fix me but me. i have a lot of re-evaluating of my life to do. i also have a lot of questions i need to answer. by the end of this, i may not need anyone else.
i miss julie. and the life i had when she was in my life more. she knows me, the real me. she is the only person that i hide NOTHING from. i asked her advice on this guy that i'm ridiculously crazy about, but totally confused and frusterated about at the same time.. and she FIGURED IT ALL OUT FOR ME. she just does that. she puts it into words that i believe. she gets into my brain. i fucking love her for that. i hardly ever talk to her anymore, but i know she's always there. i never ever have to doubt her. she knows when to laugh at me, and she knows how to make me laugh at myself. even when i told her i thought we were drifting her words were, "oh, poke. you're so silly." and magically it was all better. our lives are so incredibly different, but we can put it all on hold to be each others backbone. i don't feel that i have that with anyone else. i question all my other friends when they're not around. i always think that everytime i see them will be the last time i ever see them. but not her. i trust her. she would probably be one of the only people that i trust that much. plus she is an amazing person to get trashed with.
i guess this entry became an ode to my three best friends.
just stuff i needed to say.
lately my best friend has been music. it can never do you wrong.
I HAVE THREE WEEKS! THREE OF THE BEST FREAKING WEEKS AHEAD OF ME. three weeks just like old times. after that, i'll basically be dead. i wonder who i'll be when it's over. i have a feeling the next three weeks are going to change me A LOT. it'll teach me to survive on my own. i need to learn to survive on my own. i make the mistake of relying on the wrong people to make me happy. i always decide to leave the good ones, the ones who are looking out for my best interest behind me. and i try to fool myself and believe that everyone else can fix me. no one can fix me but me. i have a lot of re-evaluating of my life to do. i also have a lot of questions i need to answer. by the end of this, i may not need anyone else.
i miss julie. and the life i had when she was in my life more. she knows me, the real me. she is the only person that i hide NOTHING from. i asked her advice on this guy that i'm ridiculously crazy about, but totally confused and frusterated about at the same time.. and she FIGURED IT ALL OUT FOR ME. she just does that. she puts it into words that i believe. she gets into my brain. i fucking love her for that. i hardly ever talk to her anymore, but i know she's always there. i never ever have to doubt her. she knows when to laugh at me, and she knows how to make me laugh at myself. even when i told her i thought we were drifting her words were, "oh, poke. you're so silly." and magically it was all better. our lives are so incredibly different, but we can put it all on hold to be each others backbone. i don't feel that i have that with anyone else. i question all my other friends when they're not around. i always think that everytime i see them will be the last time i ever see them. but not her. i trust her. she would probably be one of the only people that i trust that much. plus she is an amazing person to get trashed with.
i guess this entry became an ode to my three best friends.
just stuff i needed to say.