the rest of my yesterdays...
(part of an alana davis song. not playing, but in my head)
So i'm not going to recount my yesterday, or the day before yesterday, because i do not whatsoever want to relive them. if you talked to me within the terms of those two days, then you know what's going on in my realm, and let me just say that i feel like i have my own little personal rain cloud following me around. Not to mention it rained yesterday. and i got wet. But this morning it's sunny and pretty bright for 7:30 am, so hopefully today will be different. i have faith that God will allow it.
I've been getting more and more excited about UNC at the minute. A bit saddened by my few friends i'll leave behind here, but what i've learned from leaving UNC is that (even before there was a chance of me going back) the ones who care about you most will make time to keep contact with you, see how you're doing, etc. One friend it just seems like i never left. and i want it to stay that way. People, if you havent noticed, i have an inherent need to keep in touch with others. but i do have my limits. i try to a certain degree and then if it seems as if i'm the only person giving and no taking, well then i draw back and wait for you to do the move. so just a warning. relationships are mutual, give and take type deals. don'tjust take.
i also decided that i'm going to try everything within me to get back to Jamaica next summer, if it kills me. i told abrina, hehe, that i want to stay for at least a month. hopefully that's long enough to get an accent, hehe, or maybe just my groove back *winks*. I'm so hopeful, i know. But i mean, I've thought this out long and hard (and not on here, i actually have a real journal that i write in now) and it's like, i love being independent, i've discovered. but i dont like to be alone. But past experiences have shown me that i will never settle again. the next man that steps to me has to have everything together in one package, i refuse to over look something for the sake of something else. and i refuse to let my want to not be lonely fill a void with anything that passes my direction.
maybe that's why i'm not upset that this kid i met last friday hasn't called me yet. i mean, i have no reason to think that we're compatible with the exception that nikki set me up with him because she knew i liked locks, and he has locks. which, is fine and everything, but so did alex, and part of me wants to hate my lock fetish for my stupidity and wantonness. but the other part of me still swoons when i see a well-dressed man with long locks, and neatly groomed face. lol. i'm a mess, i know.
oh well. i've wasted enough time this morning. time to go face my world i've been avoiding.
p.s. if i disappear in the next few weeks....it's because i'm drowning between the pages of norton volume 1 & 2. you can probably find me in Paradise Lost, or Faerie Queene, or in the Lake Isle of Innisfree, or maybe i'll become the Lady of Shallot, and imprison myself to a tower away from civilization. (haha, just a flash of some of the British lit i will be reviewing for my two english classes)
siku mwema. (have a good day)
So i'm not going to recount my yesterday, or the day before yesterday, because i do not whatsoever want to relive them. if you talked to me within the terms of those two days, then you know what's going on in my realm, and let me just say that i feel like i have my own little personal rain cloud following me around. Not to mention it rained yesterday. and i got wet. But this morning it's sunny and pretty bright for 7:30 am, so hopefully today will be different. i have faith that God will allow it.
I've been getting more and more excited about UNC at the minute. A bit saddened by my few friends i'll leave behind here, but what i've learned from leaving UNC is that (even before there was a chance of me going back) the ones who care about you most will make time to keep contact with you, see how you're doing, etc. One friend it just seems like i never left. and i want it to stay that way. People, if you havent noticed, i have an inherent need to keep in touch with others. but i do have my limits. i try to a certain degree and then if it seems as if i'm the only person giving and no taking, well then i draw back and wait for you to do the move. so just a warning. relationships are mutual, give and take type deals. don'tjust take.
i also decided that i'm going to try everything within me to get back to Jamaica next summer, if it kills me. i told abrina, hehe, that i want to stay for at least a month. hopefully that's long enough to get an accent, hehe, or maybe just my groove back *winks*. I'm so hopeful, i know. But i mean, I've thought this out long and hard (and not on here, i actually have a real journal that i write in now) and it's like, i love being independent, i've discovered. but i dont like to be alone. But past experiences have shown me that i will never settle again. the next man that steps to me has to have everything together in one package, i refuse to over look something for the sake of something else. and i refuse to let my want to not be lonely fill a void with anything that passes my direction.
maybe that's why i'm not upset that this kid i met last friday hasn't called me yet. i mean, i have no reason to think that we're compatible with the exception that nikki set me up with him because she knew i liked locks, and he has locks. which, is fine and everything, but so did alex, and part of me wants to hate my lock fetish for my stupidity and wantonness. but the other part of me still swoons when i see a well-dressed man with long locks, and neatly groomed face. lol. i'm a mess, i know.
oh well. i've wasted enough time this morning. time to go face my world i've been avoiding.
p.s. if i disappear in the next few weeks....it's because i'm drowning between the pages of norton volume 1 & 2. you can probably find me in Paradise Lost, or Faerie Queene, or in the Lake Isle of Innisfree, or maybe i'll become the Lady of Shallot, and imprison myself to a tower away from civilization. (haha, just a flash of some of the British lit i will be reviewing for my two english classes)
siku mwema. (have a good day)