(no subject)
I've never let anyone in before.... never let anyone deep inside. I don't even know how that is done. I don't know how to let someone be near to me. Do I fear that? I must.
Robbie
I just want to scream. I don't know how to talk to him. He can't handle such a mess. I've made a mistake... a huge mistake. He thinks that I'm his true love, and I know that I'm not. I care for him. Things were different before... BEFORE... before I wanted a change within me. Before I wanted more. He's a great guy. He just doesn't offer what I need..... I'm stuck. I'm in a mess.
I don't need a relationship period. I can't handle them. Am I trying to find happiness in a guy? NO! I am not one of those girls?! I know that I'm not ready for such a thing. I can't even handle my own life, let alone share it with someone. *pulls her hair*
................................
*pressed up against the wall* I'm alone... I'm cold... I'm scared... help me. Help me. I never ask for help. But I can scream it out to a puter screen. SOMEONE HELP ME! TAKE MY HAND. Desiree isn't strong. Desiree is weak. She's falling apart. That's right, Desiree is a beautiful mess. Nothing that will ever make sense to anyone. She's a roller coaster.
I can't even journal I'm so upset. My thoughts won't flow. I'm making myself even more upset. I wanna scream -n- cry into someone's chest.... feel their arms around me... just have them feel the pain and bitterness within me.... just understand and accept me. I think one of my greatest fears is that I won't be accepted. Because I can't accept myself..... just ....
*chokes on her own words*
Robbie
I just want to scream. I don't know how to talk to him. He can't handle such a mess. I've made a mistake... a huge mistake. He thinks that I'm his true love, and I know that I'm not. I care for him. Things were different before... BEFORE... before I wanted a change within me. Before I wanted more. He's a great guy. He just doesn't offer what I need..... I'm stuck. I'm in a mess.
I don't need a relationship period. I can't handle them. Am I trying to find happiness in a guy? NO! I am not one of those girls?! I know that I'm not ready for such a thing. I can't even handle my own life, let alone share it with someone. *pulls her hair*
................................
*pressed up against the wall* I'm alone... I'm cold... I'm scared... help me. Help me. I never ask for help. But I can scream it out to a puter screen. SOMEONE HELP ME! TAKE MY HAND. Desiree isn't strong. Desiree is weak. She's falling apart. That's right, Desiree is a beautiful mess. Nothing that will ever make sense to anyone. She's a roller coaster.
I can't even journal I'm so upset. My thoughts won't flow. I'm making myself even more upset. I wanna scream -n- cry into someone's chest.... feel their arms around me... just have them feel the pain and bitterness within me.... just understand and accept me. I think one of my greatest fears is that I won't be accepted. Because I can't accept myself..... just ....
*chokes on her own words*