My faith in humans...or lack thereof.
So I completely forgot to bring my cell with me to work yesterday, so I had no contact in certain ways with people. In a pleasant surprise when I did get home yesterday, I found several texts and notifications. I responded to each one - in my defense, I am trying to be more social - and one of the texts was from Gene around 9:30 in the morning. It said good morning, he just saw the Pirates 5 trailer, thought it was hilarious, and thought we should go see it. I tried to text back (it was 6:30 at this point), apologized deeply for the delay and explained why I didn't get back to him sooner, asked when Pirates debuts, and hopefully we can chat tomorrow? Got nothing back, but I do know he goes to bed early, so I tried to keep that in mind.
Today? I never got a text back, so I sent a "good morning" one over around 10:15 - still nothing. and I KNOW for a fact he gets breaks in the morning...so this HAS to be on purpose - doesn't it? He usually gets back to me rather quickly, I don't understand. I can only assume that SOMETHING didn't go right with our beach trip last Sunday, and he doesn't want to pursue anything more than friendship.
But even if that is the case, that doesn't mean you have to IGNORE my messages, especially when I have told you why I delayed and apologized, and am trying to start a conversation with you again.
DAMMIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ATTRACTED TO THE GUYS THAT CAUSE ME THE MOST AGGRAVATION?
I'm trying to think that maybe his phone is lost, or finally stopped working from the beach (it did get a douse of saltwater at the end of the evening,)...or maybe someone else has made a debut in his life (I'm liking this word "debut" today, aren't I?) and has his attention. Maybe it's his old flame, though by the way he has explained it to me it's been a year since she called it quits. Did she show up again? Did he find someone else? GOD, I hate that my mind goes SO FAST and comes up with so many different scenarios - most of them where people just suck and are lazy and scaredy-cats and not worth the trust/faith I was starting to place in them.
On a good note - Chuck has been far more active in texting me, and we even spoke on the phone last night. When he found out about the stalking by Alan Chafin, I explained the scenario, and he asked if he needed to stab the guy. Although realistically I would not want that outcome, it still made me smile to know that someone would think about it and be that protective of me. I kinda like it! :-) He ended the night by texting that he was daydreaming on the couch of "days and nights past" with me. Not so sure I want to encourage that; he did leave me hanging at Ellen and Ryan's wedding, and it crushed me far more than I care to acknowledge most of the time.
Today? I never got a text back, so I sent a "good morning" one over around 10:15 - still nothing. and I KNOW for a fact he gets breaks in the morning...so this HAS to be on purpose - doesn't it? He usually gets back to me rather quickly, I don't understand. I can only assume that SOMETHING didn't go right with our beach trip last Sunday, and he doesn't want to pursue anything more than friendship.
But even if that is the case, that doesn't mean you have to IGNORE my messages, especially when I have told you why I delayed and apologized, and am trying to start a conversation with you again.
DAMMIT, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ATTRACTED TO THE GUYS THAT CAUSE ME THE MOST AGGRAVATION?
I'm trying to think that maybe his phone is lost, or finally stopped working from the beach (it did get a douse of saltwater at the end of the evening,)...or maybe someone else has made a debut in his life (I'm liking this word "debut" today, aren't I?) and has his attention. Maybe it's his old flame, though by the way he has explained it to me it's been a year since she called it quits. Did she show up again? Did he find someone else? GOD, I hate that my mind goes SO FAST and comes up with so many different scenarios - most of them where people just suck and are lazy and scaredy-cats and not worth the trust/faith I was starting to place in them.
On a good note - Chuck has been far more active in texting me, and we even spoke on the phone last night. When he found out about the stalking by Alan Chafin, I explained the scenario, and he asked if he needed to stab the guy. Although realistically I would not want that outcome, it still made me smile to know that someone would think about it and be that protective of me. I kinda like it! :-) He ended the night by texting that he was daydreaming on the couch of "days and nights past" with me. Not so sure I want to encourage that; he did leave me hanging at Ellen and Ryan's wedding, and it crushed me far more than I care to acknowledge most of the time.