Qaf recs - Brian and Justin

[lyrasoren]

1. Healing - With the Mommies' marriage crumbling down around them, Gus forced attention on himself by acting out in an ill fated attempt to keep his parents together for his little sister, JR's, sake, but at what cost to him? ("You can hide something. You can lock it away, but you'll never escape it," Justin replied in an even tone.) - God what an insight this is on Gus, and how many lessons can be taught only by reading this.
2. Spin and fall - Brian goes to Seattle to deal with his itch to bottom. There he meets JT and falls in love, though he introduces himself as Aidan (his middle name). He returns to JT 2 or 3 times, till Justin Taylor is interviewed as art director for Kinnetik. (Justin is a top due to a trauma he suffered in high school, only until he accepts himself as the bottom he really is does he let Brian top him. (“I chose a man with great intelligence and curiosity, interesting and interested, with a quick wit and a great sense of fun. He has a great appetite for life, a passionate heart and a very strong will. He is a gifted, creative artist and an ideal collaborator, and the most beautiful and sexiest man I’ve ever known. I am amazed every day that he returns my interest.”)
3. Image is everything - Brian is a photographer and Justin comes to ask him if he is well suited to become a model. Brian immediately sees the potential and offers Justin the opportunity of his life.
4. Lies lust and love - Their relationship starts out on a lie, lust quickly follows - will love be next?
5. Behind the fifth moon - Brian is a teenager when he leaves Pittsburgh to go to Seattle. There he applies for a job and a mysterious Mr Taylor answers his call. Justin is a recluse that lives in isolation in the mansion La cinquieme Lune. (Brian saves the drama princess from her tower)
6. Sacrificed - When his business starts to fail, Craig Taylor makes a bargain to save his company. What happens when the time comes to repay the debt?(Brian is Anael an archangel)
7. Dear John Doe - Justin left to New York after Brian was robbed. After three years Brian finds him hustling and takes him to Pittsburgh where he shows glimpses of the old Justin.
8. Time and fever burns away - Justin has cancer (He learns what he already knew that Brian loves him.)
9. Teacher - Justin’s Brian’s Econ teacher and as hard as he fights temptation he cannot resist a seventeen year old Brian. (Justin can’t really breathe, and everything hurts, but he doesn’t much care. It’s good. It’s too good, better than anything he’s imagined, and he can tell from Brian’s wide eyes and startled whimpers that he feels the same. / “I’m looking for somebody who makes me feel,” he says. “(I want) somebody who I can’t stop thinking about, who I want to touch and look at and be with all the fucking time. I want to miss him when he’s not around, and when he is around I want to feel like…like everything is better. Beautiful. I want to feel like my heart is, like, growing, like I’m becoming…better inside, just from being near him. I want to feel like I’m flying when we’re fucking. Like I’m going to just…combust! Like I would die if he never touched me again!”/Why does the love of his life have to be a seventeen-year-old boy? Justin doesn’t know, and he’s not sure he cares.)
10. Queer as grease - Brian and Justin meet at a beach house and Justin falls in love with Brian. His parents’ divorce and he moves to Pittsburgh and he reunites with Brian. (rock band, Ethan as a guitarist, the bashing, Rage: The gay crusader, the make up after separation)
11. The seven stages of Gus - Glimpses of Brian and Gus’s relationship through years - Father and son. (His devotion to Justin: "Most of all, promise me you'll take care of my Justin. Except for his sister, you're his only family. He adores you and Erin and baby Brian. Never forget him just because I'm gone. He's going to be so lost, so....lonely..." a tear traced the sharp bones of his face and Gus wiped it off. "We've been together for so long, through so much. I hate leaving him all alone.")
12. Ceremony - Brian and Michael have sex. Justin still finds the strength to forgive Brian.
13. Be all that you can be - Justin never saw Brian after he was told “You can see me in your dreams”. Craig sent him to military school after finding out his son was gay. After 11 years they reunite and fall in love, despite the fact that Justin is currently the officer of a squad in US Special Forces.
14. Landscape arc - No matter how much he tries Brian can’t hurt Justin enough for him to give up his love. (Chin lifted, armour plates still in place, he fixes you a resigned look. "Then you shouldn't have saved me that night. I'd rather be dead than feel like this.")
15. Handcuffed - Brian and Justin fall in love with each other in one day, after Brian releases Justin from his cuffs at school.(Bond - sequel)
16. Happily ever after - Brian Kinney: CEO of Kinnetik Advertising Agency, but now a recluse and making a living writing screenplays: romantic thrillers. But these are stories that never have happy endings. Following circumstances that leave him scarred and guilt-ridden, Brian has retreated to his house and buried himself in his work -Justin Taylor: A struggling artist who is commissioned to paint a portrait of Brian's son, Gus .What happens when they meet? Can Justin persuade Brian he's still as beautiful and desirable as he ever was and that there is such a thing as a happy ending and that they can live happily ever after? (“And if it means you still need other guys ... that's okay too ... it won't mean a thing ... it won't change anything between us ... who you are ... just as long as you come home to me.”/ Brian smiled. “I do love you,” he whispered, at last voicing the confirmation Justin had hoped he'd one day hear, not that he'd doubted Brian's love for him for a long time. Brian's eyes were shining and Justin gasped. His own eyes were now brimming and he leaned in to kiss him. /“I know ... I love you too,” Justin told him.)
17. The Duke of Tremont - AU - Brian is Duke of Tremont, younger brother of the king and Justin is the son of Duke of Westlake. Clair and her husband Saperstein intend to make Ballybone their land a single country separated from Pennington the country ruled by Jonathan, the king. Brian and Justin are soul mates and Brian is chosen by the fairies and has gifts like foreseeing, healing Justin with his blood. (Duke of Tremont II - The country of Maynor’s king dies of an unknown disease, and Jonathan receives a gift from Duke of James Stockwell, a ruby brooch and the king fell ill from the same disease. Brian and Justin start on a journey to find a cure and to unlock Justin hidden potential. )
18. Be careful what you wish for - Brian’s Uncle John is dying of complications of AIDS and asks for Brian to come to Denver to meet him. Justin had been taken under John’s wing when his father disowned him for being gay, after he was bashed at his prom. Since then he has been taking care of John. John wishes for his nephew’s happiness that he is sure will find having a partner in his life and the candidate for that position is none other than Justin.
19. Experiment - Brian gives up tricking for a week, then for a month, and then grows up into the man Justin always saw inside him. (So when I’m talking to him; whether he’s here or whether it’s like last night and we’re on the phone, just laughing about something dumb someone said (with our friends, there’s always something) or making plans for how we’re going to handle this mess our careers are both in, or just comparing notes on some dumb TV show and should they really have tried to get that overweight straight guy into that shirt?; whenever we just relax together, I feel good. I feel good about me. About who I am. Just because of how he sees me. Like, I don’t have to be some ultra- smooth successful suit, or some super-stud, or some kind of super hero. Just Brian is enough for him. Which means that, for the first time in my life, I feel like just Brian is okay. He may not be the greatest guy in the world, but he’s okay. / For some reason I suddenly flash on all the times when he was a kid that he must have come home after a day at school, proud of himself because he'd aced a test, or won some race. And got nothing from those asshole parents of his but scorn and criticism, if he was lucky; or the shit beaten out of him if his dad was in the mood. So he stopped coming home with those expectations that his parents would be proud of him, stopped ever exposing himself like that. And the `don't give a shit what you think' Kinney myth was born. /It’s a weird thing. When I woke up the next morning I didn’t even remember that Lindz had had the baby, but I could remember every single word that passed between us, every touch, every sigh, every kiss, and every moan. Still can.)
20. A time of adversity - Brian and Justin have lost everything but each other after the Stockwell incident, but that isn't the end of their troubles. ( “I don’t know,” Justin said thoughtfully. “But I do know that surviving the bad shit makes me appreciate the good shit even more.”)
21. Big man on campus - Justin transfers from NY to Pittsburgh. Brian is a senior and Justin is just a freshman at the same high school.
22. Ice scorch - Justin is an ice skate trainer, and is summoned by Brian to save his account with Brown athletics. (Whatever the fuck you did next and why…you have no idea. You enveloped the smaller body in your grasp and clutched him to your body heat tightly. Vanilla scent intruded your senses and you sigh against his ear, whispering softly… ‘It's a push of the world but there's always a chance/ ‘If the hunger stays alive.’ He turns around in your arms and buries his head in the crook of your neck. And it feels like home. You never knew ice could scorch.)
23. Spring clean - Fluff and hot ‘love making’. Brian and Justin are in an established relationship.
24. For the love of Justin - Ben is a high school track team coach and he asks for Brian’s help to train a very talented runner named Justin. (Ben&George) (Such horrible things were done right under people's noses, but the people all said it wasn't their business. I vowed never to be that kind of person who stays silent when wrongs are done. Thank you, Ellie, for standing by us now. I promise you, I will do everything I can to make sure you are kept safe and the others too.")
25. Celebration - Brian is a baseball player, yet the story remains the same (Brian and Justin adopt Ryan and become grandparents and grand grandparents + loving each other together into eternity)
26. Hell Week - Brian and Justin spend the week in Toronto helping Gus with his football camp and bonding in ways only unique events can attain. (Gus looked at him. “There’s a third kind of straight person in your life now, Dad…the kind that loves you, to your face.”)
27. Trouble - Justin is adopted by a dog on the grounds of Britin and he decides to keep it, yet not telling Brian about it. This leads to series of misunderstandings, Brian suspecting the worse. (Peter)
28. Blinded - Brian is mugged on the street and blinded in the process. He is sent from the hospital to a rehabilitation centre. Justin is assign to take care of him completing his community service hours for smoking pot. - Brian is also a novelist of gay thrillers. He knows the real murderer of Jason Kempt and thus someone tries to kill him. (Jackson went with someone thinking the guy was nice. Nice is relative and it can cover ulterior motives/There are hard things out in the world, and you need to protect yourself) Seeing clearly - Sequel
29. Omelette - Justin meets Ethan again and finds out he is positive and is scared for his own fate (they all are) ("I was fucking furious that you had this memory and I wanted it so much but you wanted to get rid of it. I know this is insane, but I felt like you wanted to get rid of the part of me I'd lost and then it'd be gone forever. I felt like you wished you'd never taken me home that night, never seen me under that streetlight-)
30. Listen to your heart - Justin loses his hearing in LA when the pyrotechnics make a mistake while filming an explosion for a scene in the movie. Slowly Justin recovers his hearing and Brian is with him signing along the way.
31. Summer vacation is looking up - Justin is epileptic and is mistreated by his parents, they even want to leave to Greece for a month leaving Justin with a caretaker. Fortunately that caretaker is none other than Brian.
32. The evil ex - Justin is finally ready to come home from NY permanently and Gus doesn’t perceive this as a good thing.
33. Shadows in the mirror - Justin is being constantly assaulted and Brian decides to take him far away from Pittsburgh. Even Jennifer and Molly move there with them, and Molly gives her son to them after getting pregnant. (Abe)
34. Sun shines brightly - Justin was found when he was little by a tribe of Indians and since has lived with his wife Night Song and his daughter. But the spirits warn him that his true half and soul mate is Brian.
35. Victorian interlude - Sometime in the 1880s - a rich man and a starving young artist meet for the first time and have mad, passionate sex
36. The list - Brian and Brandon are work colleagues, work partners and friends, yet at heart they are competitors. They make a bet, a list of 10 people to fuck and see who the best is. On that list is one Justin Taylor, known as Brian’s friend Sunshine. Of course Brian does everything to take him off the list, unknowingly falling. (“I don’t think you have to have a picnic on the floor by candlelight, or you have to serenade someone to love them. I mean, a little romance is nice, sure, but… he’s kind of a cheese ball. It’s all too much, you know? He was telling me he thinks of me as his muse. We’ve known each other like…two months.” Justin giggled, embarrassed. /“I look at Ted and Blake, or Michael and Ben, and I can see they’re in love. I bet they have their romantic moments. But they’re still able to appreciate plebeian activities like dancing at a club or playing pool. It’s not all walking on the beach looking in each other’s eyes, right? I think being with someone like Ethan might be… suffocating. God forbid you’d feel like smoking pot together instead of feeding each other grapes…I want love, but I want to live in the real world. People do fart in bed, you know?”/ Justin… God. That was the name of the pain in his chest. Justin. How could you grow to love someone so fucking much in two short weeks? Fifteen years of staying as far away as possible from that bullshit emotion, and only fifteen days to ruin those long years of hard work by falling for a little blond, blue eyed twink. Just to be proven right almost immediately, that love hurts, and hope hurts, and you are better off wanting nothing, having nothing, so you are never disappointed and never hurt./“My partner, the man I love. The man I want to fall asleep with, and wake up to, the man I want to share my life with, make love to everyday, be with through tough times, and share the celebration of good times with, my lover, my…”/“I missed you so much! It hurt so bad, Brian, and I couldn’t talk to my best friend, ‘cause that’s you, and you were the one who hurt me, and I believed it, but I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t forget us, in bed together. And that made it worse, that I was so gullible and stupid, but then I’d remember your eyes, and the way you look at me when you’re inside of me, and it just made no sense…”)
37. Lost sister - Justin unable to hold on once shoved off Brian’s cliff, decides to relocate to Ireland in a student exchange. There he runs into familiar hazel eyes that remind him of Brian only they belong to a woman. (Caitlin is Brian’s sister and Lindsay’s soul mate) ("So my promise to you is that every day I will marry you again in my heart and that will last until the day I die.")
38. New Year - Brian puts Michael first after fucking him. He breaks up with Justin, leaving him no other option than to cut all his connections with the family. Justin quits the dinner and moves out from Deb. He takes two part-time jobs, yet money is still tight. Tomas (a waiter at the restaurant he is working) convinces him that there is a guy who will pay just to have sex with and Justin’s company, thus every Thursday he meets this man, who is so different from Brian yet his touch so familiar. Slowly he falls in love with HIM.  
39. When it rains it pours - After Justin leaves Brian and goes with Ethan, leaving him, Brad shows up. He is everything - a combination between them - until the abuse starts happening. Brian becomes increasingly worried and takes Justin under his protection. Yet Brad doesn’t give up, he comes and beats Justin, until once he leaves Justin with no other choice than to fight or die.
40. Changes - Justin decides to go 4 months to L.A. for school to escape loosing Brian for good. During all this time Brian realizes he wants Justin in his life, and is grateful for his return, and learns that Justin is brave enough to not take any bullshit from their family.
41. Trapeze - Their lead attraction is Trapeze star Brian Kinney and there are plenty of changes in store for him too when he meets the young man who is in desperate need of changes in his own life. What happens when these two souls meet and discover more than a love for the circus in common between them? (amazing)
42. Lofty ideas - Brian loses his job due to the scandal at the prom and Justin wants to help him open his own ad agency. (God, he is beautiful. We are so close, I sometimes have to step back and remind myself of how gorgeous my lover is. How gentle he can be. How caring he is under that 'fuck you' demeanour. I remind myself, because if I don't, I may have to fucking KILL him! /I lean back and smile at him, experiencing a surge of affection and admiration that leaves me feeling a little weak. He is so much more than my lover. He is my soul mate, my ideal, my partner. If he had any idea how strongly I feel for him, he would never take his foot off my throat. I kiss him, and then go into the bathroom to shave, feeling hopeful for the first time in months. More than hopeful. Confident. /We have this odd habit of pulling each other out of the ditch. He falls in, I haul. I fall in, he hauls. If we both fall in, we climb over each other and find our way out together. I realize that more than the sex, more than the romance, more than the affection, this ability to rescue each other from the worst the world can shove at us is the strongest definition of our love. I know how strongly he feels for me, and I revel in it)
43. Rage - The gang does not see Justin since Debbie and Michael drive him home. That night his parents fight and die in an accident. He and Molly are forced to live on the streets, and the only source of income is Justin hustle.
44. Holding on, ten years gone - Justin comes back from NY for Christmas and Brian asks him to stay for good.
45. Day will be richer than night - Mel and Linds's anniversary is the thing that brings them back together again, an inevitable regroup. The Pittsburgh gang, now scattered across the states and further, all trailing in unison towards stations and airports to start their journey across the border. (awkward barrier)
46. Big brother - Molly’s POV - three stages of how her brother has disappeared.
47. Justin’s scrap box - Justin’s few memories
48. First meetings - Brian’s meetings with Jack, Michael, Ted and Emmet, Justin and Gus
49. Full circle - In New York Justin dates some guys and finally finds ‘the one ‘in Cal who wants a family with him. Thus they adopt Max a positive little baby. Cal learns he is also positive and makes Brian promise he will take care of Justin when he dies. (Before too long, only semiconscious, he murmurs, “Who’s…is someone there?”/“I get it.”/“Brian?” His voice is foggy and confused./“He may be pissed at you, but it’s not really about this drug thing. It’s because you’re dying on him.”/“Um, I don’t need you to explain my partner of eight years to me.”/“Me, though? I say more power to you. Why the fuck would you want to be a guinea pig for some pill that’s just going to make you linger a little longer while everyone sits around making idle chatter to unsuccessfully mask the fact they’re on a death-watch? Go out on your own terms. I applaud that. And I know how much you actors love applause.”/“Thanks, I guess. But I don’t really care whether you approve of my decision or not. So was that it? You came to give me your blessing to die?”/“Yes. That’s exactly why I came,” I snip back sarcastically. /“Then what the hell are you doing here?”/“I came to tell you you’re chicken shit.”/“With that bedside manner, I’m glad you didn’t consider medicine as a career.” He groans in discomfort, trying to sit up a little. “What happened to the ovation for my choice?”/“When you asked me to promise to be there for him, I assume you meant after you were gone. But, you know, I don’t think you’re as good for him as you claimed. Maybe I should go back to your house and climb into your bed and ‘be there for him’ tonight.” I’m such an ass. I didn’t need to go there. It just…came out./But he’s infuriatingly immune. Probably because he trusts Justin not to fuck me. Which is even more infuriating. “You say you get it, but you’re obviously pissed at me too.” /“I am.”/“O.k. I’m fine with that.” Fair enough. I wouldn’t give a shit if he was pissed at me either./“I’ll tell you why.”/“Of course you will. I’m sure a herd of stampeding grannies couldn’t stop you. Go ahead. It certainly can’t be because I’m dying on you.”/“You want to choose to die? Do it. But don’t be a fucking coward. Have some balls; look your son in the eye and tell him the truth. Don’t stick the man you’re supposedly soooo good for with a devastated, confused, angry kid who had no idea his father was about to disappear on him forever.” /That caught him completely off guard. “Wait…you’re here because of Max?”/“Do you know how many people get taken out in a car accident or a fire or something else totally out of the blue? You’re fucking lucky. You have a chance to say goodbye, to let him say goodbye.” I bring my hand to my face, pinching the bridge of my nose. “The only decent gift my old man ever gave me my whole life was…fuck, I hate this word, but…closure, for lack of a better term. When he told me he had cancer, he gave me a chance to, you know, work some shit out.”/“I’m honoured. I don’t think you’ve ever been that open with me before.” /“I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now. Shall we hug and sing folks songs?”/He coughs a laugh. “So much for that.”/Repentant in my own way, I admit, “I guess it’s easier to spill your guts to somebody who’s not going to be around much longer.” /He laughs harder, choking. I offer him some water, holding the straw for him. When he’s caught his breath, I challenge, “He needs you to help him figure out how to handle all this. You can show him how to accept it. Justin always brags that you’re the best father, like, ever.”/“He does?” I can hear how much that means to him./“Yeah, he does. But, it’s bullshit. Christ, you’re wasting your last opportunity to be a fucking parent. And about the real shit, not just a scraped knee or a failing grade. So how great a father can you be? You’re putting your own fear ahead of your kid’s best interest.” /He’s quiet for a while. Then, his voice thick with emotion, he says, “I need to rest.” No problem. I’ve said my piece. As I leave, he puts me on notice. “Hey. I’m still holding you to your promise. Especially now.”/“Why especially now?”/“I always knew how much you loved Justin. From the day we met, I knew. But you came all the way down here and snuck into my hospital room in the middle of the night, not looking out for Justin, but because you’re looking out for…” he pauses, overcome. His moist eyes glistening in the dark, he takes a deep breath to regain his composure. “Why especially now? Because now I also know how much you love my son.”)
50. Lost and found - Brian finds out he has a cancer tumour and at first doesn’t want to follow up treatment, yet Molly makes him promise her to give her away and in exchange she will take care of him. Thus Brian comes and lives with Jennifer for a while. Brian’s personality changes due to surgery and he even marries Erick, a composer Ethan introduced him to. Justin marries Ethan, yet deep down they still love each other. Molly marries Peter, Brian’s nephew and both B and J spouses die in a car accident and they end up together. (“Yeah. How do you feel?” / “Fine.” Molly said with a tight smile. /“You know what fine means?” /“What?” /“Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic and Emotional.” Brian smirked.)