Well I don't think I stink
So, HI, from this side of Thanksgiving. We had rageprufrock and yahtzee63 and my co-worker Kit over for a big feast which was absolutely delightful. Then on Saturday, because serialkarma and I are crazy, had another big party and lessee, who all came:
barely_bean, shayheyred, cmshaw, lightgetsin and Azura (did I spell that correctly?), rageprufrock, corinna_5, and hetrez. Gahd, we drank and ate eclair cake and laughed and talked about... what else? Pron! It was fantastic.
Now all y'all have been very patient with the story of Captain, so let me share a dream I had:
I dreamed that I was going to introduce him to a bunch of my friends. We're all gathered around outside a classroom that has these big windows and we're peering in, my friends asking, "is that him, is that one him?" And I'm all squinting and trying to find him, and somehow my subconscious conjures up every man with a beard that I have ever seen, because there's this room FULL of bearded men, and my girls are still all, "is that him is THAT one him?" and I'm like "God, NO, that's Morgan from Chuck!" And it was, ohmigahd. MORGAN FROM CHUCK was in my dream. Finally I spot Captain, and all is well, but MORGAN. IN MY DREAM.
I got a text from Captain on Thanksgiving: Happy Thanksgiving to you, your friends, and your taters.
Cause yeah, I'd shared with him the story of Susie no have more potato, which he found amusing. And so we're still on track for a second date, seeing a movie, I figure as soon as he gets back in town, maybe sometime this weekend.
On Monday night, right before I went to bed, I got an email from him. And really, it does not deserve to be distilled into bullet points; no, you deserve it in its entirety. It has taken me a few days, obviously, to post about this, because I had to get over my initial shock. It's one of those things where I read it, and then re-read it, and then STILL couldn't believe what I was reading. Maybe I've killed the suspense now, but here it is:
Dear [Lyra],
I hope the holiday treated you as kindly as did mine, and that you had as many laughs, as much food and as little sleep as I did...my father's parents are both octogenarians, and I swear they drink nothing but coffee. I swear I couldn't keep up.
And here at home I find that I can barely keep up with myself. I wish that I could say I had more time, or that the time I have could be spent differently, but I am finding that is not to be the case. There's a lot on my plate, to be sure, and it would be easy for me to bemoan the constant requirements placed upon me (by others or by myself), but the greater truth is that I really want to be committed to these things.
I am, of course, and that doesn't preclude doing other things or meeting other people, but try as I might to remain open, and as much as I long for companionship, as any person, I simply can't find it in me to make myself available. That sounds terribly selfish, and it probably is, but I've never been this kind of selfish, and I believe that I need to be.
You are terrific, and I feel a bit like a sailor (not a pirate, but a sailor) passing a beautiful port of call in the midst of a long and arduous journey. Witnessed but unexplored, circled but unclaimed.
Not that you (or any person) can be claimed, per se, but I hope you know what I mean. I am glad to have met you, and hope that I can continue to know you. Just having a friendly, familiar face among the few young people here vastly improves the neighborhood.
Thanks for asking me out...something I didn't have the guts to do. I know our paths will cross again, whether deliberate or accidental, and I look forward to seeing you then.
Most sincerely,
[Captain]
>>>
So okay, let us revisit the paragraph where I think he compares my vagina to Puerto Vallarta (I am a beautiful port of call! My VAGINA is a PORT OF CALL). Or the part where he thinks I'm still going to be a 'friendly' face the next time I see him. Or hey, how about that part where our paths will cross again because yeah, like I am just going to be standing around the fucking platform EVER FUCKING AGAIN for this douche. And let me just say AGAIN, that I am not the girl who calls all the time, or texts all the time, or emails all the time. OMFG, he couldn't handle two dates in one month and like, I dunno-- a few emails and three texts? Really? This is what he does not have time for? DOES HE NOT WANT TO GET LAID??
On Monday night I was crushed pretty badly; I went to bed and lay there thinking about him, and about his email, and I felt at least somewhat better that I couldn't squeeze a tear out of it, so at least my emotional investment wasn't all that severe. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I'd hit the pissed off stage full on and wanted to go to the station and punch him in the face. By now I'm in the bleh-whatever stage, but I really hope I don't ever run into him again. One, because I don't want to be nice to him and act like oh, everything is fine, and two, because I don't want to be mean to him and let him know that he got to me. Tricky, these things.
So y'all, I am pretty. I am smart. I am funny and I don't smell bad. Why the hell am I a stealth!emo magnet? Because I SO AM, it's like I'm rolling along with these guys and then BAM! the emo slaps me upside the face. Sigh. Okay, but I'm going out tonight with some people and there is a guy coming that one of my co-workers wants to set me up with. I don't really have high expectations and am quite sure he won't be my type, and plus I'm not really in the mood to have to be all sweet and cutesy and shit, but I'll go for the drink just to prove that yes, I STILL HAVE IT.
I have not emailed Captain back, but if I do, it might go something like this:
Hi Captain,
I'm so relieved to get this email. I totally agree, we should break this off. My boyfriend was starting to get pissed that I was seeing other people.
Best,
Lyra
Also, hi, I love all of you. *hugs*
barely_bean, shayheyred, cmshaw, lightgetsin and Azura (did I spell that correctly?), rageprufrock, corinna_5, and hetrez. Gahd, we drank and ate eclair cake and laughed and talked about... what else? Pron! It was fantastic.
Now all y'all have been very patient with the story of Captain, so let me share a dream I had:
I dreamed that I was going to introduce him to a bunch of my friends. We're all gathered around outside a classroom that has these big windows and we're peering in, my friends asking, "is that him, is that one him?" And I'm all squinting and trying to find him, and somehow my subconscious conjures up every man with a beard that I have ever seen, because there's this room FULL of bearded men, and my girls are still all, "is that him is THAT one him?" and I'm like "God, NO, that's Morgan from Chuck!" And it was, ohmigahd. MORGAN FROM CHUCK was in my dream. Finally I spot Captain, and all is well, but MORGAN. IN MY DREAM.
I got a text from Captain on Thanksgiving: Happy Thanksgiving to you, your friends, and your taters.
Cause yeah, I'd shared with him the story of Susie no have more potato, which he found amusing. And so we're still on track for a second date, seeing a movie, I figure as soon as he gets back in town, maybe sometime this weekend.
On Monday night, right before I went to bed, I got an email from him. And really, it does not deserve to be distilled into bullet points; no, you deserve it in its entirety. It has taken me a few days, obviously, to post about this, because I had to get over my initial shock. It's one of those things where I read it, and then re-read it, and then STILL couldn't believe what I was reading. Maybe I've killed the suspense now, but here it is:
Dear [Lyra],
I hope the holiday treated you as kindly as did mine, and that you had as many laughs, as much food and as little sleep as I did...my father's parents are both octogenarians, and I swear they drink nothing but coffee. I swear I couldn't keep up.
And here at home I find that I can barely keep up with myself. I wish that I could say I had more time, or that the time I have could be spent differently, but I am finding that is not to be the case. There's a lot on my plate, to be sure, and it would be easy for me to bemoan the constant requirements placed upon me (by others or by myself), but the greater truth is that I really want to be committed to these things.
I am, of course, and that doesn't preclude doing other things or meeting other people, but try as I might to remain open, and as much as I long for companionship, as any person, I simply can't find it in me to make myself available. That sounds terribly selfish, and it probably is, but I've never been this kind of selfish, and I believe that I need to be.
You are terrific, and I feel a bit like a sailor (not a pirate, but a sailor) passing a beautiful port of call in the midst of a long and arduous journey. Witnessed but unexplored, circled but unclaimed.
Not that you (or any person) can be claimed, per se, but I hope you know what I mean. I am glad to have met you, and hope that I can continue to know you. Just having a friendly, familiar face among the few young people here vastly improves the neighborhood.
Thanks for asking me out...something I didn't have the guts to do. I know our paths will cross again, whether deliberate or accidental, and I look forward to seeing you then.
Most sincerely,
[Captain]
>>>
So okay, let us revisit the paragraph where I think he compares my vagina to Puerto Vallarta (I am a beautiful port of call! My VAGINA is a PORT OF CALL). Or the part where he thinks I'm still going to be a 'friendly' face the next time I see him. Or hey, how about that part where our paths will cross again because yeah, like I am just going to be standing around the fucking platform EVER FUCKING AGAIN for this douche. And let me just say AGAIN, that I am not the girl who calls all the time, or texts all the time, or emails all the time. OMFG, he couldn't handle two dates in one month and like, I dunno-- a few emails and three texts? Really? This is what he does not have time for? DOES HE NOT WANT TO GET LAID??
On Monday night I was crushed pretty badly; I went to bed and lay there thinking about him, and about his email, and I felt at least somewhat better that I couldn't squeeze a tear out of it, so at least my emotional investment wasn't all that severe. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I'd hit the pissed off stage full on and wanted to go to the station and punch him in the face. By now I'm in the bleh-whatever stage, but I really hope I don't ever run into him again. One, because I don't want to be nice to him and act like oh, everything is fine, and two, because I don't want to be mean to him and let him know that he got to me. Tricky, these things.
So y'all, I am pretty. I am smart. I am funny and I don't smell bad. Why the hell am I a stealth!emo magnet? Because I SO AM, it's like I'm rolling along with these guys and then BAM! the emo slaps me upside the face. Sigh. Okay, but I'm going out tonight with some people and there is a guy coming that one of my co-workers wants to set me up with. I don't really have high expectations and am quite sure he won't be my type, and plus I'm not really in the mood to have to be all sweet and cutesy and shit, but I'll go for the drink just to prove that yes, I STILL HAVE IT.
I have not emailed Captain back, but if I do, it might go something like this:
Hi Captain,
I'm so relieved to get this email. I totally agree, we should break this off. My boyfriend was starting to get pissed that I was seeing other people.
Best,
Lyra
Also, hi, I love all of you. *hugs*