I lost my potato
Yesterday brought the return of the potato.
I've been hankering for a potato along about a month now. Ever since Little Corporal shot me down the last time, I've been treading the debate of when and where to order a potato with care. It seemed best to wait until he was out of the office lest any grudges he might hold against the potato be taken out on me.
Around lunchtime, Cici asked if I wanted to order with her and Marguerite. Sure, I say, where're y'all getting food? Cici hands me the menu for Susie's Kitchen. "Hmmm," I ponder. "They have chili. I'd like some chili, chili sounds good doesn't... OH MY GOD THEY HAVE BAKED POTATOES."
With Little Corporal out of the office yesterday morning and not due back until the afternoon, I asked Cici to order me a potato and chili because by dammit, I was going to have my stuffed potato.
Cici orders and I wiggle happily in my chair, just thinking about the great big stuffed potato coming my way.
Now, let me introduce Marguerite.
Marguerite is my crazy coworker. Crazy in a good way coworker, as in the way where she tells you that when she was younger she was in the circus and this guy threw knives at her and you actually don't know if she's making the story up or not. Or the story of how she used to clean house for an eighty year old priest and wound up having an affair with him.
Here's an exchange we had a few weeks ago:
"Lyra! Lyra!"
I walked into her office. "Hey, Marguerite. Nice shirt," I teased her, because she was wearing a super tight shirt that stretched across her ample and very perky chest.
"Oh, yes, look!" she exclaimed and pulled down her shirt to show me her bra. "And pretty bra, too, to keep up my big boobs." She laughed, as though I was in on the joke, too.
I shifted a bit. "Well... at least you don't have to pay for them," I offered awkwardly.
She beamed. "That's right, child, I don't have no downpayment plan on my titties."
So that's Marguerite. Marguerite ordered food with CiCi and me, but five minutes later ran back in the room.
"I have to cancel!" she said.
"Cancel what?" Cici asked.
"My food, I don't want my food. I'm eating with Mo now."
CiCi was busy at the time so she gave Marguerite the phone number for Susie's Kitchen and told her to call.
Marguerite wasn't halfway out of our office before CiCi swiveled slowly in her chair to face me. "That... probably wasn't a good idea, was it?"
I sighed. "Well, she just better not cancel my POTATO."
A few minutes later CiCi called out to her: "Did you cancel your order?"
Marguerite bounced in. "Yes, yes, I canceled the soup!"
"The what?" CiCi asked, and I just knew what was getting ready to happen.
"The soup," Marguerite said again. "I didn't want it."
"But...I ...didn't order you any soup," CiCi said, and my heart started filling with dread. "I ordered you the chili and quiche like you asked me to."
Marguerite looked genuinely confused. "Well I canceled the soup HAHA!" she laughed. I started biting my nails and threw a paper clip at CiCi.
Fifteen minutes later the order arrived. CiCi called me from the lunchroom.
"...Lyra? They um... theyleftoutyourpotato. But don't worry! I called Susie's kitchen and they're delivering another one!"
Alright, I admit it. I was miffed. "Marguerite!" I yelled. Her office is across and down the hall from mine. Not exactly within yelling distance unless you have a hefty set of lungs. The lost potato spurred me on. "Marguerite! Damn you! Dammit! You CANCELED MY POTATO!"
...Aaaand of course that's when Little Corporal rounded the corner and bellowed at me, "What the hell is up with you and that GODDAMN POTATO?? It's always something with this friggin' potato!"
I froze. "Um. Good afternoon? Sir? Hi." I started furiously typing to avoid further conversation.
By the time I made it up to the lunchroom to retrieve the chili, the potato was still missing in action. I waited around 45 minutes, and finally ate my chili (sullenly, I might add. I wanted to put it IN the potato), and went back to my desk.
"They still didn't bring the ..." I started saying to CiCi, and Marguerite walked into the office... "POTATO!" She put her hands over her mouth and backward tiptoed out.
I wound up calling Susie's Kitchen. "Hi, I ordered a potato an hour ago and it wasn't delivered and it was being redelivered, so can you please bring it or just bring my refund?" The lady was very nice. "Oh, I'm so sorry, yes yes, I bring you potato. What you want?"
"A potato," I said. "With sour cream and butter."
"...butter?", the lady asked, totally judging me. I'd just about had it with this potato.
"YES," I said very firmly, "a POTATO with SOUR CREAM and BUTTER."
Seriously, I wanted to cry. I didn't even WANT the potato anymore, the dream was pretty much ruined at this point.
"Okay okay," she assured me, "I send you potato."
RELIEF!
A minute later, my phone rang. "Good afternoon, this is Lyra."
"Hi, this is Susie's Kitchen."
My heart thumped. "Hi... Susie's kitchen."
"Susie Kitchen so sorry. I sorry! Susie no have more potatoes! I send you money back! Susie no have more potato!"
Y'all. Susie NO HAVE MORE POTATO.
I've been hankering for a potato along about a month now. Ever since Little Corporal shot me down the last time, I've been treading the debate of when and where to order a potato with care. It seemed best to wait until he was out of the office lest any grudges he might hold against the potato be taken out on me.
Around lunchtime, Cici asked if I wanted to order with her and Marguerite. Sure, I say, where're y'all getting food? Cici hands me the menu for Susie's Kitchen. "Hmmm," I ponder. "They have chili. I'd like some chili, chili sounds good doesn't... OH MY GOD THEY HAVE BAKED POTATOES."
With Little Corporal out of the office yesterday morning and not due back until the afternoon, I asked Cici to order me a potato and chili because by dammit, I was going to have my stuffed potato.
Cici orders and I wiggle happily in my chair, just thinking about the great big stuffed potato coming my way.
Now, let me introduce Marguerite.
Marguerite is my crazy coworker. Crazy in a good way coworker, as in the way where she tells you that when she was younger she was in the circus and this guy threw knives at her and you actually don't know if she's making the story up or not. Or the story of how she used to clean house for an eighty year old priest and wound up having an affair with him.
Here's an exchange we had a few weeks ago:
"Lyra! Lyra!"
I walked into her office. "Hey, Marguerite. Nice shirt," I teased her, because she was wearing a super tight shirt that stretched across her ample and very perky chest.
"Oh, yes, look!" she exclaimed and pulled down her shirt to show me her bra. "And pretty bra, too, to keep up my big boobs." She laughed, as though I was in on the joke, too.
I shifted a bit. "Well... at least you don't have to pay for them," I offered awkwardly.
She beamed. "That's right, child, I don't have no downpayment plan on my titties."
So that's Marguerite. Marguerite ordered food with CiCi and me, but five minutes later ran back in the room.
"I have to cancel!" she said.
"Cancel what?" Cici asked.
"My food, I don't want my food. I'm eating with Mo now."
CiCi was busy at the time so she gave Marguerite the phone number for Susie's Kitchen and told her to call.
Marguerite wasn't halfway out of our office before CiCi swiveled slowly in her chair to face me. "That... probably wasn't a good idea, was it?"
I sighed. "Well, she just better not cancel my POTATO."
A few minutes later CiCi called out to her: "Did you cancel your order?"
Marguerite bounced in. "Yes, yes, I canceled the soup!"
"The what?" CiCi asked, and I just knew what was getting ready to happen.
"The soup," Marguerite said again. "I didn't want it."
"But...I ...didn't order you any soup," CiCi said, and my heart started filling with dread. "I ordered you the chili and quiche like you asked me to."
Marguerite looked genuinely confused. "Well I canceled the soup HAHA!" she laughed. I started biting my nails and threw a paper clip at CiCi.
Fifteen minutes later the order arrived. CiCi called me from the lunchroom.
"...Lyra? They um... theyleftoutyourpotato. But don't worry! I called Susie's kitchen and they're delivering another one!"
Alright, I admit it. I was miffed. "Marguerite!" I yelled. Her office is across and down the hall from mine. Not exactly within yelling distance unless you have a hefty set of lungs. The lost potato spurred me on. "Marguerite! Damn you! Dammit! You CANCELED MY POTATO!"
...Aaaand of course that's when Little Corporal rounded the corner and bellowed at me, "What the hell is up with you and that GODDAMN POTATO?? It's always something with this friggin' potato!"
I froze. "Um. Good afternoon? Sir? Hi." I started furiously typing to avoid further conversation.
By the time I made it up to the lunchroom to retrieve the chili, the potato was still missing in action. I waited around 45 minutes, and finally ate my chili (sullenly, I might add. I wanted to put it IN the potato), and went back to my desk.
"They still didn't bring the ..." I started saying to CiCi, and Marguerite walked into the office... "POTATO!" She put her hands over her mouth and backward tiptoed out.
I wound up calling Susie's Kitchen. "Hi, I ordered a potato an hour ago and it wasn't delivered and it was being redelivered, so can you please bring it or just bring my refund?" The lady was very nice. "Oh, I'm so sorry, yes yes, I bring you potato. What you want?"
"A potato," I said. "With sour cream and butter."
"...butter?", the lady asked, totally judging me. I'd just about had it with this potato.
"YES," I said very firmly, "a POTATO with SOUR CREAM and BUTTER."
Seriously, I wanted to cry. I didn't even WANT the potato anymore, the dream was pretty much ruined at this point.
"Okay okay," she assured me, "I send you potato."
RELIEF!
A minute later, my phone rang. "Good afternoon, this is Lyra."
"Hi, this is Susie's Kitchen."
My heart thumped. "Hi... Susie's kitchen."
"Susie Kitchen so sorry. I sorry! Susie no have more potatoes! I send you money back! Susie no have more potato!"
Y'all. Susie NO HAVE MORE POTATO.