the case of the harelip tomato
Woohoo, skip = more than I can back click!
I am back from New Orleans, vacation over too soon as always. I love visiting my parents cause I really do miss them and enjoy being with them, though I've discovered four days is the optimum limit. Mama did the obligatory "when am I getting grandbabies" and "when are you moving back south" and "you need to find a man" pretty much CONSTANTLY. I love my mama, I really do, but it's hard to tell her to shut the fuck up already. (I would never curse my mother, for the record). She also felt the need to tell me that on average, people say the word "fuck" five to six times a week. "It's just such a vulgar word," she stated tartly. In my mind I was thinking, god, six times a week, I say it six times a day.
My parents have the funniest little fights, too, over things like, y'know, parking and where to eat, and WHAT to eat, and whether or not the service is adequate. We were at the Whole Foods and I saw a tomato that had all these little ridges in it and held it up. "Heirloom," I said, right as Mama asked, "heirloom?" Daddy looked at us both and said, "Harelip?" Mama whipped around and started laughing and chanting, "harelip, harelip" and Daddy just stood there looking very puzzled.
The next day Mama was mocking him for something else and ended with: "and it was a HARELIP tomato, too!" to which Daddy said, most sincerely, "I really thought y'all were making fun of the tomato." Which just made the whole thing ever funnier, to me.
Anyway, turns out Preacher found himself another woman, some schoolteacher from Georgia who was a missionary in Africa so I squirmed out of having to marry him, YAY! My mother finally conceded that Preacher and I wouldn't be a good match, as "your values wouldn't mesh, and besides, you're a Democrat." Um, like it was a disease or something.
Okay, I'm actually not complaining because I totally adore my parents and they are some of the most loving and generous people you'll ever find but man alive are they ever conservative. Whew.
Hi, y'all, I ain't never gonna catch up on this flist and besides, I have to go buy wings tonight. (bells will ring in heaven!)
I am back from New Orleans, vacation over too soon as always. I love visiting my parents cause I really do miss them and enjoy being with them, though I've discovered four days is the optimum limit. Mama did the obligatory "when am I getting grandbabies" and "when are you moving back south" and "you need to find a man" pretty much CONSTANTLY. I love my mama, I really do, but it's hard to tell her to shut the fuck up already. (I would never curse my mother, for the record). She also felt the need to tell me that on average, people say the word "fuck" five to six times a week. "It's just such a vulgar word," she stated tartly. In my mind I was thinking, god, six times a week, I say it six times a day.
My parents have the funniest little fights, too, over things like, y'know, parking and where to eat, and WHAT to eat, and whether or not the service is adequate. We were at the Whole Foods and I saw a tomato that had all these little ridges in it and held it up. "Heirloom," I said, right as Mama asked, "heirloom?" Daddy looked at us both and said, "Harelip?" Mama whipped around and started laughing and chanting, "harelip, harelip" and Daddy just stood there looking very puzzled.
The next day Mama was mocking him for something else and ended with: "and it was a HARELIP tomato, too!" to which Daddy said, most sincerely, "I really thought y'all were making fun of the tomato." Which just made the whole thing ever funnier, to me.
Anyway, turns out Preacher found himself another woman, some schoolteacher from Georgia who was a missionary in Africa so I squirmed out of having to marry him, YAY! My mother finally conceded that Preacher and I wouldn't be a good match, as "your values wouldn't mesh, and besides, you're a Democrat." Um, like it was a disease or something.
Okay, I'm actually not complaining because I totally adore my parents and they are some of the most loving and generous people you'll ever find but man alive are they ever conservative. Whew.
Hi, y'all, I ain't never gonna catch up on this flist and besides, I have to go buy wings tonight. (bells will ring in heaven!)