Just a few questions...for you Dad..
Since last night...between not being able to sleep and a kajillion and one thoughts of anger,hurt,frustration,denial,rage and pretty much every horrible feeling running through my head I can't help but find myself asking the same GOD DAMN questions over and over again that I would really wish someone could help me find the answers too...preferably the man who's suppose to be a father to me and a husband to my mother...someone who I am NOW embarrassed to call my Dad...
I don't even know you anymore,Who the hell are you?
Come to think of it did I ever REALLY know you?
How the hell do you sleep at night?
How can you even LIVE with yourself... knowing how much you've hurt someone...?
Do you even KNOW to the EXTENT that you HURT my mother?
Do you care?
Do you have any idea how she is feeling...?
Do you have any fucking clue of the pain she endures?
Have you forgotten about the vow you made to her the day you two were married?
Did you even for a split second think of what this would do mom, landon or myself... or our family?
Did Landon or I's feelings ever even cross your mind?
Did Mom's?
Are you even sorry... do you have any remorse at all?
What do you expect to happen now?
Do you think it's going to be easy to look Landon and I in the face now that we know what you've done and WHO you are?
How are you going to even look at Mom in the face...?
Do you expect to ever gain respect much less trust back from Landon or I?
Why the hell did you lie to me...?
All those years you PROMISED that you and mom would NEVER ever divorce...why even say that?
Do you know that I always believed everything you told me and now I have no reason to ever believe another word that comes from your mouth much less even HAVE the desire to listen or speak to you?
Were you only thinking of yourself...?
Tell me please WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
**What a fucking waste...a waste of time, love, tears, and breath...a waste on someone who I thought COULD NEVER EVER even have the heart to even THINK of doing SUCH a thing to someone who HE supposedly LOVES and children he supposedly LOVES!
Can someone please tell me why on EARTH this question... "Why do we HURT the one's we love" holds true to about 95% of the world's population. WHY?
I don't even know you anymore,Who the hell are you?
Come to think of it did I ever REALLY know you?
How the hell do you sleep at night?
How can you even LIVE with yourself... knowing how much you've hurt someone...?
Do you even KNOW to the EXTENT that you HURT my mother?
Do you care?
Do you have any idea how she is feeling...?
Do you have any fucking clue of the pain she endures?
Have you forgotten about the vow you made to her the day you two were married?
Did you even for a split second think of what this would do mom, landon or myself... or our family?
Did Landon or I's feelings ever even cross your mind?
Did Mom's?
Are you even sorry... do you have any remorse at all?
What do you expect to happen now?
Do you think it's going to be easy to look Landon and I in the face now that we know what you've done and WHO you are?
How are you going to even look at Mom in the face...?
Do you expect to ever gain respect much less trust back from Landon or I?
Why the hell did you lie to me...?
All those years you PROMISED that you and mom would NEVER ever divorce...why even say that?
Do you know that I always believed everything you told me and now I have no reason to ever believe another word that comes from your mouth much less even HAVE the desire to listen or speak to you?
Were you only thinking of yourself...?
Tell me please WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
**What a fucking waste...a waste of time, love, tears, and breath...a waste on someone who I thought COULD NEVER EVER even have the heart to even THINK of doing SUCH a thing to someone who HE supposedly LOVES and children he supposedly LOVES!
Can someone please tell me why on EARTH this question... "Why do we HURT the one's we love" holds true to about 95% of the world's population. WHY?