And fires a beautiful sound...
Hi.. I had a strange day today.. I opened at work and well J.C. (the maintenance guy) tried to change the filter for our water system... and then the entire thing went down.. that means.. No coffee, No water, No soda, No O.J., No juices... and yeah that is all of the things that people in the morning want.. so I got yelled at a bunch of times and honestly I didn't fucking care at all... but then around 9ish.. Glenn showed up.. it was so weird.. I noticed this bald man waving at me and then I was like holy shit that is Glenn.. and so yeah I was really busy and no one was helping me so he was like I'll just go throw drive through.. so that's what he did.. and yea he told me that I could go and visit today if I wanted and to call him when I got out.. so I did exactly that.. it was so strange.. I don't know.. not good though.. he has changed a lot.. my mom said that I for once saw the real him.. maybe I don't give her the benefit of the doubt.. I don't know.. it made me feel bad though..but yeah.. there is something wrong with him... like mentally.. and it made me incredibly uncomfortable.. like I have never had that feeling in my life before.. like he was mentally ill or something.. and I was seriously scared... and I don't get like that.. it was strange.. and I couldn't wait to get in my car and in my space and come HOME.. and I realized finally taht this is MY home and that it always has been and I think that I needed this day and this realization to see that.. and to know that.. and the weirdest thing happened when I came home today.. from Belchertown.. (Glenn's).. I was walking up to the front door of my house almost in tears and then there was a really soft breeze that slowly but strangly opened my front screen door.. and it was so weird.. I didn't even touch it.. it was like welcoming my in or something.. that must sound crazy but hey.. that's what this thing is for I guess. it was so weird though... and then I walked in my door and my mom came up to me and hugged me.. and I don't know I have never felt so close to her in my life.. and as much as I hated it.. it was the best thing.. and then I ran in my room to hide myself away like I always do and cried.. a lot.. but I don't know.. but yeah anyways.. I have to see Glenn again.. I mean I want to but I don't want to be alone again.. I am surprised at myself taht I went alone this time.. a long time ago I asked Dara to come with me when I got the balls to go there and yea.. well taht will never happen :( it makes me sad that I don't really have someone like that anymore.. .someone that understood me as well as she did.. I will cherish that friendship forever.. no one will ever compare to the friendship that we had.. I miss Lindsay a lot too.. I think I will call her sometime.. she was the best friend I have ever had.. huh... I miss mat too.. he is always busy now.. and the oddest thing.. the only person I have been wanting to call lately is someone who really hurt me.. but then again.. I really don't care what he did to me anymore all that matters is taht he was someone understanding.. even if he faked it.. weird... I know... I called Justin today to see how he was doing but he was out.. I hope Chrissy changes her mind about the whole ordeal.. I don't know though.. I understand why she is making taht decision but I do not support it.. nor will I ever.. sometimes I wish there was some place I could just go to to get away from things..but there is not and I have to sit here and think about it all... hmm.. I need to get away.. I did get some new shoes today and they are really cool.. I thnk that people will make fun of them though.. but they can fuck off.. alright.. well I am going to go now and hope that someday that friendship will be again because that is what I need right now.. he was cool...