Spill time
Okay i feel like spilling my guts here for once, some place I know people won't read and some place I know that I can say absolutely anything unprotested and unoffensive. Hmm, now the story goes...
I met a girl through my friend ryan, her name was amanda and I was absolutely immediately stunned by how beautiful she was. I was actually really nervous as to how to act around her because I figured she had guys drooling over her on a daily basis, etc. So, naturally I play it slow and be a gentleman. I open doors for her, I smile at her every chance I get and I listen to her. So she finally has to go home the day I meet her, because she has to study for a test and I figured.. Lol, like I have a chance with her. But anyways I walk her to her car and tell her to be safe and i had a good time with her. She leaves and I quickly go to bed - As I felt like complete shit that entire day. But, I didn't let how bad I felt interfer with me hanging out with her, cuz she seemed worth it.
Anyways, I'm sitting in bed and all, chilling and trying to fall asleep then my friend wakes me up like 30 mins later telling me she texted him. I was like 'wtf man, I'm trying to sleep".. he's like "believe me, it's worth getting up for" and then he told me how she told him she liked me a lot and how i was a true gentleman with her, and she'd see me the next day again.
Yeah so the day passes and she comes over and we all go out and have fun at a bar and slowly but surely i get closer to her, trying to keep it moving slow cuz I didn't wanna rush it or anything. But basically, that night she slept over. I got drunk too before the night ended and I know I didn't say too much to her or say anything completely stupid.
Anyway she goes home the next day and then tells me before she leaves she'll see me that night after she got off work. I was like "hell yeah she really likes me". and I started warming up to her and all.. she comes over that night around 2:30am or so and we talk a bit then go to bed. While still playing it slow and all. the next day we talk and shit then she leaves for work around 3 again.. and again says she'll be back that night..
Boy was I happy at that point. I really started getting fond of her. A beautiful girl that is interested in me and returning over and over? I must be doing something right here! Anyway, the day passes and she comes over at like 3:45 am and I was a bit mad that she came that late at first and I was tired as hell cuz I actually waited up on her to come.. but I was so fucking happy she came anyway and we kissed, talked.. etc.. got into depth in some convos and then finally went to sleep
Next day she leaves a bit earlier, I think like around 1 or 2pm.. and she tells me she'll try to come back that night. This is where it got scewed up.
Up until this point nothing had happened to keep us from spending time together, so I was getting really greedy with my time and all.
We get a text that night - to ryan (my roomate - cuz I dont have a cell) that she cant come cuz shes having probs with her friend. Her friend got kicked out or something and went straight to her appartment :| Naturally I was like 'damnit no.." but i understood and all. So the next day she tells me she'd TRY to come over. and she can't cuz her friend is still around :\
So By now I'm going through withdraw a bit from her cuz I spent so much damn time with her then she was gone :\
Next day, same situation. Her friend is over and she can't leave her. :|
Soooo, the next day I kinda go a little emo when she again tells me she can't come over because she's at her friend's grandma's and they're having an intervention thingy. I kinda texted her through AOL like 4 times I think and I really didn't think it was too forward. I mean, i was like come over whenever you get a chance. then she was like "i dont have gas" then I go "i can come over there" then she goes 'my place is really dirty" so i go " i don't care what your place looks like, i just wanna see you" .. and then she got offended by my forwardness or something and ryan was texting her at the same time asking her to come over - which I wasnt aware of..
So the next day I was like, not really sure what to think of the situation, and I was expecting her to come over as she said she would... then that she texted my roomy that she had a flat tire. So I was like.. quick to react and like you know, I could come over and help or come over and be with ya.. but nope.. anywayz i got drunk cuz I was really upset by this point, i wasn't sure if she was purposely blowing me off or what... i just know i was really missing her, although we only hung out like 5 days in a row, i got hooked quickly. Umm so when I was drunk I got in a huge argument with my roomate and his gf witnessed it and then spoke to the girl on the phone and the girl finally leaves me a message on facebook saying she'll see me the next day. That she also liked me And that I wasn't her boyfriend "YET" with capitol letters, making me feel like perhaps she really wanted me to be soon.
So the next day after she promised me in an email that she'd come over, she again doesn't.. this time it's cuz she doesn't feel good. I mean I understood 100%, but I really wanted to be there for her. Thus far I had totally played cool and tried to be really patient. But, I am the kind of person that likes to be there for people when they are sick or hurt. So I wanted to go over and see her, take a movie or w/e. Anyways, she pushed me away right away then I kinda pressed it a bit cuz I missed her. Now it gets really screwy...
I guess it was a bad move cuz she told my roomy in a text that I was coming across as desperate and that she was done dealing with all this. It was too stressful. keep in mind I barely contacted her. Maybe 5 text the day before and maybe 5 text or so that day trying to press it a bit more and make her realize I wasn't there to fuck her over, I really wanted to go over and be there for her. she's apparently really independent and doesn't like help, from me at least.
Yah so.. it left off with her asking for me to give her some space and me totally thinking the entire thing was fucked and done with, but I dunno.. I mean, I could be over thinking the entire situation, but I'm the kinda person to analyze what happens in my life and try to fix things. The last text I sent her said to have a good weekend and to stop worrying about everything so much. She replied thanks and said that eventually she would let me help her, but for right now she didnt know me enough.
So now I'm just giving her space and not really sure what more I can do. My roomy's gf told me that she'll come back to me and just to give it time. But, I honestly doubt it. I mean, it was one thing after another. If she really wanted to see me, she would have. She could have invited me to go over there or she could have asked me to pick her up, etc.
I haven't heard from her now for 2 full days, but I know she had to pull doubles all weekend at work. So, you know. I'm kinda lost here cuz I've never experianced any of this before. I'm so used to girls ENJOYING guys who are forward and caring. and LETTING you help them when they're in times of need.
I'm probably blowing this all out of proportion anyway, but I mean seriously. I'm like being a total woman here just cuz I can't see her. Actually re-reading this entire essay kinda makes me realize I should have just backed up in the first place. I kinda pressed on her too much to come over. If she wanted to come over, she would have.. I didn't need to press it.
But, as for the future holds here, I'm not really sure. I like her a lot, in the short time I got to know her, I found a ton of good qualities. She's a good person and I really wanted to treat her like a princess. But, It's really hard to say if she's gonna contact me again and live up to what she said about liking me and all. She told My roomy's gf 2 days ago that she liked me a lot still. Really hard to know what's gonna happen tomorrow or monday tho, once she does get some free time again.
And I'm obviously over-thinking it without a doubt. But, I mean.. It's like in your life you only meet a handful of REALLY awesome people that you can be instantly drawn to. And she was one of those people. I really wanted it to work out with her, she was truely beautiful. And I'm gonna stop typing now before my fingers fall off.
I met a girl through my friend ryan, her name was amanda and I was absolutely immediately stunned by how beautiful she was. I was actually really nervous as to how to act around her because I figured she had guys drooling over her on a daily basis, etc. So, naturally I play it slow and be a gentleman. I open doors for her, I smile at her every chance I get and I listen to her. So she finally has to go home the day I meet her, because she has to study for a test and I figured.. Lol, like I have a chance with her. But anyways I walk her to her car and tell her to be safe and i had a good time with her. She leaves and I quickly go to bed - As I felt like complete shit that entire day. But, I didn't let how bad I felt interfer with me hanging out with her, cuz she seemed worth it.
Anyways, I'm sitting in bed and all, chilling and trying to fall asleep then my friend wakes me up like 30 mins later telling me she texted him. I was like 'wtf man, I'm trying to sleep".. he's like "believe me, it's worth getting up for" and then he told me how she told him she liked me a lot and how i was a true gentleman with her, and she'd see me the next day again.
Yeah so the day passes and she comes over and we all go out and have fun at a bar and slowly but surely i get closer to her, trying to keep it moving slow cuz I didn't wanna rush it or anything. But basically, that night she slept over. I got drunk too before the night ended and I know I didn't say too much to her or say anything completely stupid.
Anyway she goes home the next day and then tells me before she leaves she'll see me that night after she got off work. I was like "hell yeah she really likes me". and I started warming up to her and all.. she comes over that night around 2:30am or so and we talk a bit then go to bed. While still playing it slow and all. the next day we talk and shit then she leaves for work around 3 again.. and again says she'll be back that night..
Boy was I happy at that point. I really started getting fond of her. A beautiful girl that is interested in me and returning over and over? I must be doing something right here! Anyway, the day passes and she comes over at like 3:45 am and I was a bit mad that she came that late at first and I was tired as hell cuz I actually waited up on her to come.. but I was so fucking happy she came anyway and we kissed, talked.. etc.. got into depth in some convos and then finally went to sleep
Next day she leaves a bit earlier, I think like around 1 or 2pm.. and she tells me she'll try to come back that night. This is where it got scewed up.
Up until this point nothing had happened to keep us from spending time together, so I was getting really greedy with my time and all.
We get a text that night - to ryan (my roomate - cuz I dont have a cell) that she cant come cuz shes having probs with her friend. Her friend got kicked out or something and went straight to her appartment :| Naturally I was like 'damnit no.." but i understood and all. So the next day she tells me she'd TRY to come over. and she can't cuz her friend is still around :\
So By now I'm going through withdraw a bit from her cuz I spent so much damn time with her then she was gone :\
Next day, same situation. Her friend is over and she can't leave her. :|
Soooo, the next day I kinda go a little emo when she again tells me she can't come over because she's at her friend's grandma's and they're having an intervention thingy. I kinda texted her through AOL like 4 times I think and I really didn't think it was too forward. I mean, i was like come over whenever you get a chance. then she was like "i dont have gas" then I go "i can come over there" then she goes 'my place is really dirty" so i go " i don't care what your place looks like, i just wanna see you" .. and then she got offended by my forwardness or something and ryan was texting her at the same time asking her to come over - which I wasnt aware of..
So the next day I was like, not really sure what to think of the situation, and I was expecting her to come over as she said she would... then that she texted my roomy that she had a flat tire. So I was like.. quick to react and like you know, I could come over and help or come over and be with ya.. but nope.. anywayz i got drunk cuz I was really upset by this point, i wasn't sure if she was purposely blowing me off or what... i just know i was really missing her, although we only hung out like 5 days in a row, i got hooked quickly. Umm so when I was drunk I got in a huge argument with my roomate and his gf witnessed it and then spoke to the girl on the phone and the girl finally leaves me a message on facebook saying she'll see me the next day. That she also liked me And that I wasn't her boyfriend "YET" with capitol letters, making me feel like perhaps she really wanted me to be soon.
So the next day after she promised me in an email that she'd come over, she again doesn't.. this time it's cuz she doesn't feel good. I mean I understood 100%, but I really wanted to be there for her. Thus far I had totally played cool and tried to be really patient. But, I am the kind of person that likes to be there for people when they are sick or hurt. So I wanted to go over and see her, take a movie or w/e. Anyways, she pushed me away right away then I kinda pressed it a bit cuz I missed her. Now it gets really screwy...
I guess it was a bad move cuz she told my roomy in a text that I was coming across as desperate and that she was done dealing with all this. It was too stressful. keep in mind I barely contacted her. Maybe 5 text the day before and maybe 5 text or so that day trying to press it a bit more and make her realize I wasn't there to fuck her over, I really wanted to go over and be there for her. she's apparently really independent and doesn't like help, from me at least.
Yah so.. it left off with her asking for me to give her some space and me totally thinking the entire thing was fucked and done with, but I dunno.. I mean, I could be over thinking the entire situation, but I'm the kinda person to analyze what happens in my life and try to fix things. The last text I sent her said to have a good weekend and to stop worrying about everything so much. She replied thanks and said that eventually she would let me help her, but for right now she didnt know me enough.
So now I'm just giving her space and not really sure what more I can do. My roomy's gf told me that she'll come back to me and just to give it time. But, I honestly doubt it. I mean, it was one thing after another. If she really wanted to see me, she would have. She could have invited me to go over there or she could have asked me to pick her up, etc.
I haven't heard from her now for 2 full days, but I know she had to pull doubles all weekend at work. So, you know. I'm kinda lost here cuz I've never experianced any of this before. I'm so used to girls ENJOYING guys who are forward and caring. and LETTING you help them when they're in times of need.
I'm probably blowing this all out of proportion anyway, but I mean seriously. I'm like being a total woman here just cuz I can't see her. Actually re-reading this entire essay kinda makes me realize I should have just backed up in the first place. I kinda pressed on her too much to come over. If she wanted to come over, she would have.. I didn't need to press it.
But, as for the future holds here, I'm not really sure. I like her a lot, in the short time I got to know her, I found a ton of good qualities. She's a good person and I really wanted to treat her like a princess. But, It's really hard to say if she's gonna contact me again and live up to what she said about liking me and all. She told My roomy's gf 2 days ago that she liked me a lot still. Really hard to know what's gonna happen tomorrow or monday tho, once she does get some free time again.
And I'm obviously over-thinking it without a doubt. But, I mean.. It's like in your life you only meet a handful of REALLY awesome people that you can be instantly drawn to. And she was one of those people. I really wanted it to work out with her, she was truely beautiful. And I'm gonna stop typing now before my fingers fall off.