la caccia
this is something from Biblebeltpagans and rereading it now, it seems so close to me again...so, I thought I'd put it here.
i miss the moon. i know, weird to say. anyway, i really do. i have watched it for the last couple days and the more i think about it the more i realize that i really do miss it. i don’t even know why, i just do. i look at it and i feel a longing. like the longing for something that you used to know...used to love but don't remember. it’s like something is blocking me and i hate it. sometimes i just want to touch the moon...or at least cry out to it. that would be weird though, wouldn’t it? yes, it would and as such i won’t do it because too many people are around here. now, if you’re a friend of mine and keep up with my soul searching through live journal you might be thinking i’m saying this just to give my claim to a wolf totem validity but please believe me when i say that i am not. i really do feel this longing and it is actually bothering me a little bit. even during the day i look up and feel the longing...even if i can’t see the moon. if you don’t believe me about how i am not trying to give my totem validity then so be it. i know the truth and if you don’t believe me then c'est la vie. anyway, that is what i wanted to say…
i describe the moon in many different ways. mainly i see it now as some ancient thing...some beautiful orb leading somewhere...by it out there or in me...or on earth. i feel something there...something powerful calling to me and i don't know what it is. i really do feel some need to touch it...i know wierd. i don't even really mean touch it physically...there is some part of me that knows how to do it...knows how to speak to the moon...and i long to do that so badly. long to cry to her and to hear her return my call. i know that sounds a lot like i am, again, trying to give my totem validity but i am not. i just feel this great longing. i want to just reach out and caress the moon...again, really wierd and maybe even slightly crazy sounding. i don't really associate the moon with the triple moon goddess because on my personal path it is not the triple moon goddess who watches over me...it is gaia. gaia is in everything...the earth and the water...the cosmos and the stars...she is in and is everything. one day i will return to her for a while and come back. i will definately try to meditate on this but sometimes it is difficult. i know my soul is trying to tell me something my head is not grasping. i hope i do learn why i long so...it is actually a little wierd...i've never felt like this.
i miss the moon. i know, weird to say. anyway, i really do. i have watched it for the last couple days and the more i think about it the more i realize that i really do miss it. i don’t even know why, i just do. i look at it and i feel a longing. like the longing for something that you used to know...used to love but don't remember. it’s like something is blocking me and i hate it. sometimes i just want to touch the moon...or at least cry out to it. that would be weird though, wouldn’t it? yes, it would and as such i won’t do it because too many people are around here. now, if you’re a friend of mine and keep up with my soul searching through live journal you might be thinking i’m saying this just to give my claim to a wolf totem validity but please believe me when i say that i am not. i really do feel this longing and it is actually bothering me a little bit. even during the day i look up and feel the longing...even if i can’t see the moon. if you don’t believe me about how i am not trying to give my totem validity then so be it. i know the truth and if you don’t believe me then c'est la vie. anyway, that is what i wanted to say…
i describe the moon in many different ways. mainly i see it now as some ancient thing...some beautiful orb leading somewhere...by it out there or in me...or on earth. i feel something there...something powerful calling to me and i don't know what it is. i really do feel some need to touch it...i know wierd. i don't even really mean touch it physically...there is some part of me that knows how to do it...knows how to speak to the moon...and i long to do that so badly. long to cry to her and to hear her return my call. i know that sounds a lot like i am, again, trying to give my totem validity but i am not. i just feel this great longing. i want to just reach out and caress the moon...again, really wierd and maybe even slightly crazy sounding. i don't really associate the moon with the triple moon goddess because on my personal path it is not the triple moon goddess who watches over me...it is gaia. gaia is in everything...the earth and the water...the cosmos and the stars...she is in and is everything. one day i will return to her for a while and come back. i will definately try to meditate on this but sometimes it is difficult. i know my soul is trying to tell me something my head is not grasping. i hope i do learn why i long so...it is actually a little wierd...i've never felt like this.