ooooo.... back from the dead
I knows ya'lls missed me. Don't lie!
So this will be my last post as a single lady. I will be getting hitched on Saturday. Ya me! I did it I accomplished all I ever needed to accomplish in live in just under 24 years.
So here are some thoughts about live before I am struck down by lightening because I have achieved too much too fast.
Woman need to continue peeing when i walk into a public restroom. I know some folks have a shy bladder, but seriously!
Today I walk my self into the restroom at work and there is someone in one of the stalls that immediatly stops their flow when I walked in. She didn't start peeing again until I started. How much pressure does that put on me. What if I had a similar shyness? Would we both sit there in udder silence until someone else came in to start the flow again? Ladies, everyone pees, I understand. Just keep the flow going.
Along the lines of bathroom talk. Women and disgusting pigs.
The first time this dawned upon me when I was 14. I was on a turn around trip to Disney Land with 499 other 8th graders when we stopped off at IHOP for a breakfast stop. About 150 girls lined up to use the 4 stalls in the women's restroom. While 10 boys were in and out in a flash. I stood at the back of the girls line looked at the men's restroom and weighed my options. I walked in it yelling something about shielding penises. It was lovely in there. The urinal cakes left this fragrance in there air that was refreshing. The sinks were not soaking wet with water being dripped from freshly washed hands (probably because men don't wash their hands). I peed. After that I went to the boys room in football stadiums, movie theatres, department stores, gas stations, and restaurants. Aside from the gas station the mens rooms were always cleaner. There was no toilet paper on the floor, no noxious smell of feminine hygiene products in the trash (or on the floor for that matter), no diapers, no unflushed toilets. Try it sometime ladies. Check out the wonderment of man!
Push your work (or lack there of ) to the limit.
If you are single and have no one to take care of but yourself, or maybe can stand to lose a few extra dollars I say test your luck at your job. If you are in a so-so job and being minimally monitored just stop working all together. I have done this at three jobs now. I tell you what, no one notices. These aren't the same types of jobs either. The first job I tested this at was at Target. I sat on my butt from 8AM-4:30PM Monday- Friday and did nothing. I just sat around talking on the phone and emailing my friends. Sure, I was the receptionist, but I was supposed to be doing other tasks other than that. When I worked at Home Depot as a bookkeeper I would finish my job in 2 hours and the other six hours I would sleep or go home. Now I am at U-Haul processing warranty claims for the man. Right now I am supposed to be working, but I choose to not work. I call out or leave early at least once a week. All of this and I have yet to be spoken too about my work ethic.
If you boss has an Internet addiction sneak up on him as much as possible.
This is the highlight of my work day. My boss like to look at your normal assortment of websites, but he has an addiction to a few that he shouldn't be viewing at work. Sure, CNN or Fox New are OK. Yahoo or MSN. But Boss Man looks at World Poker Tour, Internet Dating, and Sports Center. I make it a point to sneak as quietly as I can over to his desk with a piece of paper. Stand behind him and say "Hey, Boss Man!" then see how fast it takes him to minimize his screen, turn around, smile, and ask how he can help. Today I think I might have added fuel to the fire by reminding him that I am leaving for Vegas in the morning. I asked if I could play a hand of Texas Hold 'em for him. Of course I knew this is his favorite vice. Shortly after I went to his office to watching click happily away in the World Poker Tour website. Then said "Hey, Boss Man!..." waited for him to act awkward for 10 seconds "this towing claim got paid today" *smile* "Just thought you would like to know!" Then leave. I think it keeps him in check so I can screw around on the Internet as much as I would like. Some would call it blackmale I call it Smart.
That is all for today kiddos. When I post again I will be a married woman so stop hitting on me ; )