Reflecting the present and future
Somehow I find myself back here after a very long and quiet hiatus.
To those reading on the exercise side, I've stopped exercising since around mid-early November of last year. The good news from all this though is I have kept the 20+ pounds off. I average 181-185lb these days.
This will be one of the first times I've broken my own code. In the past I have always kept matters and issues to myself, never writing or posting of them publicly. Hell, there's enough furs having their daily drama emo trips to last the rest of us a lifetime.
One never really loses friends, even they move away. This doesn't make it any easier for me though, despite the fact. One by one I've lost friends to moving away. My friend Tarah was the last, and I support her move regardless because she is still a friend. And while we haven't seen each other in a very long time, she's still a part of my heart and someone I can honestly call my friend, regardless.
In the coming months I will be losing my closest friend Cyfur, who also happens to be a furry (and the one responsible for introducing me to the fandom so very long ago). He'll either be moving to Sacramento or to Oregon. Either way, I'm taking it rather hard. He's the closest fur/friend I've had living near me.
Sure, I have others I can call a friend... Mochi, Omi, and others who are at least mature and such but ultimately I can't feel totally at ease because they all live far away and are what I guess people would coin "popufur". That in itself is another subject for another post.
Anyways, the closest thing I have to interacting with others is Prancing Skiltair and Califur. This is a problematic piece in and of itself as most people who attend it are way younger than me. I'd say by 15+ years easily. Which makes making a connection very difficult. I'm what they call a 'grey fur'.
I can feel comfortable writing my feelings here because not many people are here to read it or will. So I'm not sure why exactly I'm writing all this but feel I need to. Self therapy perhaps? Who knows. :P
Anyways, this will be the first time think I've expressed being severely depressed. I'll be over this rut of depression soon enough. I always have.
To those reading on the exercise side, I've stopped exercising since around mid-early November of last year. The good news from all this though is I have kept the 20+ pounds off. I average 181-185lb these days.
This will be one of the first times I've broken my own code. In the past I have always kept matters and issues to myself, never writing or posting of them publicly. Hell, there's enough furs having their daily drama emo trips to last the rest of us a lifetime.
One never really loses friends, even they move away. This doesn't make it any easier for me though, despite the fact. One by one I've lost friends to moving away. My friend Tarah was the last, and I support her move regardless because she is still a friend. And while we haven't seen each other in a very long time, she's still a part of my heart and someone I can honestly call my friend, regardless.
In the coming months I will be losing my closest friend Cyfur, who also happens to be a furry (and the one responsible for introducing me to the fandom so very long ago). He'll either be moving to Sacramento or to Oregon. Either way, I'm taking it rather hard. He's the closest fur/friend I've had living near me.
Sure, I have others I can call a friend... Mochi, Omi, and others who are at least mature and such but ultimately I can't feel totally at ease because they all live far away and are what I guess people would coin "popufur". That in itself is another subject for another post.
Anyways, the closest thing I have to interacting with others is Prancing Skiltair and Califur. This is a problematic piece in and of itself as most people who attend it are way younger than me. I'd say by 15+ years easily. Which makes making a connection very difficult. I'm what they call a 'grey fur'.
I can feel comfortable writing my feelings here because not many people are here to read it or will. So I'm not sure why exactly I'm writing all this but feel I need to. Self therapy perhaps? Who knows. :P
Anyways, this will be the first time think I've expressed being severely depressed. I'll be over this rut of depression soon enough. I always have.