(no subject)

[lynnkay]

I love him. There’s no denying that. Sitting alone thinking of everything that has happened in the past, it’s sickening how the memories make my stomach turn. It’s as if I couldn’t possible move on when in actuality I don’t want to. I want nothing more than to be with him. I hate the way people will take about him. I hate the way they say I can do better. I hate the things they say when they try to make things better. I don’t want people to hate him. I really don’t. If I can’t hate him, how can I expect others to? I see him all the time, but not being with him tears me apart. I mean what did I do wrong? How am I not good enough? I ask those questions time and time again. I can’t bare to see him move on and I can’t move on while he’s still in my life. The hardest part is that I don’t want him to not be a part of my life. Why do I love him so much? Why do I care about him so much? I love him. I do. Very much. I cry myself to sleep wondering why things turned out this way. We’re not together and yet nothing much has changed.

Gahhhhhhh.

I'm complaining.