not myself
I've come to the conclusion that I really haven't been myself lately. I've been tired, I've been stressed, and I've really been missing my old REAL life. I want to be able to give my mom a hug and go shopping with her.
I want to be able to have long talks with my dad until the wee hours in the morning about everything going on in the world.
I want to see my neice and nephews smile and laugh as I play with them.
I want to be able to hang out with my brothers in the garage and laugh until I can no longer breathe.
I want to have someone that I can cuddle up next to and watch a movie with.
I want my friends; not the acquaintances I've made here.
Unfortunately, the army doesn't care what you want. When initially enlisted, I was the most excited person in the world. The army was going to be the first thing in my life that challenged me in every way possible, was going to let me break free from being sheltered--was going to let me grow up. Now that I have gotten to grow up and now that I'm going to be going to Europe and traveling everywhere that I've ever dreamed I would travel--I don't want it.
What's the point of having everything that you've ever wanted--but having no one by your side to share it with. I don't mean that I want a significant other--just someone that can go to Paris with me and soak the rays with me on the coast of Italy. Regardless of who--family or friends--just someone who fell within one of the two. There is so much that I want to do--so much that I want to see--but I have yet to find someone of mutual interest.
I'm going absolutely crazy here. I am adjusted fine, but I just miss all of the familiar things of home--of being able to sleep in, eat ice cream and not feel guilty about it. I just need a break. The army is a very draining organization. I haven't slept well at all in the last 5 months. I just need to feel the love here like I do back home. Soon--very soon--it will happen.
Mom comes in 14 days. I can't wait for one of her hugs.
I want to be able to have long talks with my dad until the wee hours in the morning about everything going on in the world.
I want to see my neice and nephews smile and laugh as I play with them.
I want to be able to hang out with my brothers in the garage and laugh until I can no longer breathe.
I want to have someone that I can cuddle up next to and watch a movie with.
I want my friends; not the acquaintances I've made here.
Unfortunately, the army doesn't care what you want. When initially enlisted, I was the most excited person in the world. The army was going to be the first thing in my life that challenged me in every way possible, was going to let me break free from being sheltered--was going to let me grow up. Now that I have gotten to grow up and now that I'm going to be going to Europe and traveling everywhere that I've ever dreamed I would travel--I don't want it.
What's the point of having everything that you've ever wanted--but having no one by your side to share it with. I don't mean that I want a significant other--just someone that can go to Paris with me and soak the rays with me on the coast of Italy. Regardless of who--family or friends--just someone who fell within one of the two. There is so much that I want to do--so much that I want to see--but I have yet to find someone of mutual interest.
I'm going absolutely crazy here. I am adjusted fine, but I just miss all of the familiar things of home--of being able to sleep in, eat ice cream and not feel guilty about it. I just need a break. The army is a very draining organization. I haven't slept well at all in the last 5 months. I just need to feel the love here like I do back home. Soon--very soon--it will happen.
Mom comes in 14 days. I can't wait for one of her hugs.