LAST NIGHT WAS A TOTAL CRYFEST
So i balled my eyes out last night. It's like i can't get over how fast time is moving. It seems like there's nothing I can do to stop it. I just cried because I'm so damn confused. I don't know how i feel or if i'm ever doing the right thing. I just feel hopeless. Everyone i become close to or dependent on ends up leaving me. Not nessissarily leaving me. But moving away. Going elsewhere. I don't really have too much time for friends and the people that i do see talk crap about me all the time. My friend Stephen says it's because they're jealous they can't be as nice as me all the time. Because even when things are going crappy i try my best to be pleasant. I'm scared and stressed about school. I need to get some more of my books. I haven't done anything about my online class. But i'll try and go over to allie's today and work on it. No promises though.My feelings about everything changes within moments. I don't think that's a good thing either. I just can't seem to keep my head on straight. Sometimes i daydream about never speaking to another soul again. Just going off and getting a new life. A life away from anyone who has ever known me. It's a bad and stupid dream but i can't help but want to run away from it all. I can't believe that i'm not going to see bill for 5 years. I can't believe that i won't see Nathan for 5 years after the 9th of february.It's like my mind can't process it all. Well. I've said all my rants. Love lynette